Tag shitpost

is sysvinit better, or is systemd better? become enlightened. the right answer is that neither is good, because they make the computer turn on. the best init system is no init system. Let the computer stay off.

⁅Gateway of last resort⁆ (@Wxcafe)Mon, 03 May 2021 22:21 +0000

I can't wait to start at my new dev job next week. Here's the building I'll be working out of.

Jack Forge (@TheJackForge)Sun, 02 May 2021 05:52 +0000

For the #CaptainTom100  challenge, I’m delighted to announce I’ll be smoking 100 joints Thank you for your support.

Jaimi Shrive (@Jaimi_Shrive)Sat, 01 May 2021 11:41 +0000

I've decided to take a break from my mental health and just completely focus on work this week.

half vaccinated overcaffinated bat (@mzbat)Mon, 26 Apr 2021 14:02 +0000

new intel 14 nm uarch just dropped

Post details

new summer getaway ✨

emily!! (@oksoumhi)Fri, 23 Apr 2021 21:17 +0000

delan (@dazabani)Sun, 25 Apr 2021 04:25 +0000

Charlotte McGrath (@mc_lotta)Fri, 23 Apr 2021 21:49 +0000

made an absolutely devastating typo in the group chat

brady ➐ (@zipoffs)Thu, 22 Apr 2021 21:14 +0000

I thought I may have had to concede that tweet you made was pretty funny but I noticed you didn't encapsulate the entirety of the human condition so better luck next time pal.

Chicken Skin Isabella (@sadsleepygirl23)Sun, 18 Apr 2021 15:41 +0000

How dare you tweet something which fails to consider every possible facet of human experience

Honey, as a bit (@benegotherit)Mon, 19 Apr 2021 20:52 +0000

What has the Platform Team ever done for us?

Ian Miell (@ianmiell)Tue, 20 Apr 2021 08:21 +0000

who decided to call them NFTs instead of GIF Certificates???

adam j. sontag (@ajpiano)Sun, 18 Apr 2021 19:30 +0000

Ah Mr Bond, it seems to me that you need to work on finely controlling your speed on corners... if you ever hope to step to me

Kill James Bond! (@KillJamesBond)Sun, 11 Apr 2021 21:36 +0000

“Just got vaccinated this summer’s about to be lit!”

Danny Neary (@itsdannyneary)Sun, 11 Apr 2021 03:10 +0000

There's a tank gunner on TikTok showing how he gets into the tank by climbing up and people are roasting him for not just pressing E

SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity)Sun, 11 Apr 2021 15:45 +0000

????

Theo ‎✡︎ טוביה 🏳️‍🌈 (@jewish_activist)Fri, 09 Apr 2021 14:47 +0000

That time my hair had the Conan O’Brien swoop, so of course I chose this very good hair day to make an important #ApexLegends announcement.

Elle Newlands (@ElleNewlands)Tue, 23 Mar 2021 22:00 GMT

A burnt out engineer call that STEM brulée

Andy Reed 🍞 (@andykreed)Wed, 07 Apr 2021 02:08 +0000

Help! My (43) competitor (22) has reimplemented my public API (25)

jack (@doitwithalambda)Mon, 05 Apr 2021 23:03 +0000

To all who don’t like pineapple on your pizza...please consider this alternative.

Aaron Cohen (@ImoveCar)Sat, 03 Apr 2021 11:00 +0000

What if The Simpsons were British?

Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK)Fri, 02 Apr 2021 09:35 +0000

Shocking. #CREMEEGG

Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez)Mon, 29 Mar 2021 15:50 +0000

hi guys, just logging on to say i love to work in my job at amazon warehouse. my name is nape. i am 29.75 years existing. moving boxes is my favorite human pastime. i urinate frequently and always in the small white being known as toirlet. please do not give me the human rights!

soul nate (@MNateShyamalan)Mon, 29 Mar 2021 21:15 +0000

[[ inappropriate cackling ]]

Reid (@arrdem)Fri, 26 Mar 2021 22:18 GMT

Exec 1: "The Mandalorian was a hit! We need something like that for the Obi Wan spinoff, but not -too- similar." Exec 2: "say no more"

Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears)Sun, 21 Mar 2021 16:54 GMT

Can confirm.

badly-drawn bee 🐝 (@soapachu)Thu, 18 Mar 2021 17:37 GMT

babe are you okay you didn't even touch your 60% mechanical keyboard shaped waffle

Fuzzy (@BoxMacLeod)Mon, 15 Mar 2021 11:44 GMT

Startup idea: NFTs for domain names. We could have multiple authorities who are trusted to verify people’s identity and claim to own a domain, and then issue them a digital certificate. They can then use that certificate for verifying their domain and website is authentic.

Mike Kelly (@mikekelly85)Mon, 15 Mar 2021 10:12 GMT

two software engineers walk into a “foo”

kris nóva (@krisnova)Mon, 15 Mar 2021 05:07 GMT

My favourite vegetable is mangetout bc it’s spells man get out

Jaimi Shrive (@Jaimi_Shrive)Thu, 11 Mar 2021 20:45 GMT

You may think standing in the vaccine standby lines is a waste of time but I think it's worth a shot

Emily (@EmilyKager)Thu, 11 Mar 2021 21:19 GMT

･ *ﾟ 　 ･ ﾟ* ･｡ *･｡ the pull-out *.｡ ｡･ method °*. ﾟ｡ ﾟ*. is not ｡｡ ･ ｡ ･ﾟ ｡°*. reliable ｡*･｡

H̶͢͝T̨T̸̕͢P̴̕͠ ̕͠Lo̡͡v̸̷͢è̡͢ç̶raf̕t̨͜ (@HTTP_Lovecraft)Wed, 10 Mar 2021 20:42 GMT

Forget an edit button; I want @Twitter to include an Enterprise tier where I can force all of my employees to embed a 1200 character disclaimer at the end of every tweet for compliance purposes. You’re welcome, Internet!

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Tue, 09 Mar 2021 22:20 GMT

ommgg

𝒊𝒔𝒏𝒕𝒅𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 ⭑⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⊰⋆⃟⭑ (@IsntDaveOne)Mon, 08 Mar 2021 05:06 GMT

“your pronouns are what’s in between your legs” ok so girls/guys

cal? (@cal_gif)Sun, 07 Mar 2021 17:57 GMT

whoa

Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen)Sat, 06 Mar 2021 21:51 GMT

Guys I’m totally freaked out....I took the COVID19 vaccine band aid off my arm and WTF

Free Dominguez (@freedominguez)Fri, 05 Mar 2021 01:22 GMT

An extremely important time management message,

Kim Reece (@feonixrift)Mon, 01 Mar 2021 09:23 GMT

hr: and who should we contact in an emergency? me: I guess me hr: no, like, if the emergency involves you me: that feels like even more reason to tell me

Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau)Mon, 01 Mar 2021 22:04 GMT

Oh you’re rich? Name every number on your credit card.

Andy Bell (@piccalilli_)Mon, 01 Mar 2021 09:27 GMT

#Java

Bruno Borges (@brunoborges)Fri, 19 Feb 2021 16:19 GMT

If someone shrunk their kids today they'd be cancelled, straight up

Kyle Harris (@heykyleharris)Wed, 17 Feb 2021 16:10 GMT

Alternate history: Covid-09

Star Trek The Next Jeneration 1986 (@hellscape1986)Mon, 15 Feb 2021 14:34 GMT

*phew* so glad tomorrow is finally friday :)

Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack)Thu, 11 Feb 2021 05:45 GMT

This comment on a ted talk im watching

malaya (@accessforbidden)Sun, 07 Feb 2021 13:13 GMT

me: “would you rather fart loudly or poop yourself silently” recruiter: “we meant questions about the job”

Andy Bell (@piccalilli_)Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:14 GMT

The phrase “subtweet” implies there is a domtweet That’s it, that’s the joke, tip your bartender, have a good night

Katelyn Bowden (@medus4_cdc)Sat, 06 Feb 2021 01:22 GMT

god the foreshadowing in that movie was so good

laura bananas (@freezydorito)Thu, 04 Feb 2021 01:51 GMT

Women in tech are literally so easy to please. Give us fancy mechanical keyboards and fundamental human rights. That's only two things.

Cake is Kate. Always has been. 💫 (@kefimochi)Wed, 03 Feb 2021 05:06 GMT

A vaccine rollout that is bottlenecked on manufacturing and distribution is the real dependency injection.

Emily (@EmilyKager)Mon, 25 Jan 2021 18:39 GMT