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welcome to the week after Christmas, the date is sometime between Tuesday and August, a handful of cheese at 4pm counts as a meal, Irish Cream can be consumed between 6am and January and putting on your high school band shirt from your parents’ closet counts as “getting dressed”
PSA: today is WEDNESDAY
Attached: 1 image You've heard of Barbenheimer, but have you heard of:
Attached: 1 image I love traditions like "decorating the tree with the kids". I can't take credit for the idea, but it's a good one.
Don't make fun of kids who still believe in Father Christmas, there are adults out there who think trickle-down economics is real...
Attached: 1 image Walter's in that post-Christmas dinner slump
Attached: 1 image It's not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls
Attached: 1 image Merry COVID Christmas! I’m with the family (through a window) and riding out rain in the tent. Whenever the rain pauses my family pass gifts and mulled wine out the window! Good enough. Should be allowed inside tomorrow. 😬
Attached: 1 image behold, the wreath of khan
Attached: 1 image HAVEN SANTA THOUGHT'S - https://DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
I’ve reverted to a former version of myself
When you’re estranged from your bio family and you have a compact with your partner to never buy holiday gifts, you realise how absolutely fucking mental every else becomes in December.
Decorations are gone. Christmas is officially over. 😢
I want to be him. Brain empty, just enjoying his Christmas cape in derpy bliss
Holly Brockwell (@holly)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 22:35 GMT
fucked up looking food (@fuckedupfoods)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 21:09 GMT
Finalizing my schedule for Christmas.
vacation mb ❄️ (@mb)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 04:25 GMT
Happy last minute panic-shop to everyone who celebrates.
Have you been naughty or nice? Watch full vid youtu.be/wmBlQllspVQTom Cardy (@Tomycardy)Sat, 18 Dec 2021 20:01 GMT
Every year I wait to hear how the sprout war continues. It doesn’t disappoint.
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Since 2016 Dad & I have waged sprout war: I’ve hidden them in chocolate, in his toothpaste, he has retaliated by filling my bedsheets with them... It is an even-sided conflict, with both resorting to greater nefariousness & descending to even more underhand deception each year.
Judy Louie Brown (@mcjude)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 19:32 GMT
Jenny Wong 🐝 (@miss_jwo)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 10:41 GMT
Living the serverless dream: Christmas Day 2021, when everybody who has bought a Roomba since Black Friday opens them in about a four hour window on Christmas morning, was completely hands off keyboard for us. Literally nothing needed to handle the massive influx of traffic.
Ben Kehoe (@ben11kehoe)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 19:58 GMT
Got a post-xmas Sainsbury's shop this morning. All of my bread products have been substituted with hot cross buns.Jennifer Mackown (@__jcmc__)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 12:21 GMT
jame (@videojame_)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 15:04 GMT
Remember kids, your differences will be shamed and ridiculed until they can turn a profit.
Bucky with the Good Arm (@benjancewicz)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 16:17 GMT
Only real Santa Claus fans will retweet this picture of our Christmas hero
Lily Simpson (@LilySimpson1312)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 14:30 GMT
Having worked opposite a Pandora I can tell you that the queue is all men on the 24th and all women with receipts on the 26th
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Men out in the wild…
Deborah. ✨ (@DebStevo90)Fri, 24 Dec 2021 12:19 GMT
Laurie (@Laurence__Hunt)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 13:12 GMT
We are officially now in that weird haze between Christmas and New Years when we're all like what day is it? Are banks open? Are other people working? Is it still okay to eat leftover ham? What am I doing with my life? Is my ex happy?
Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 09:05 GMT
The ‘mas’ in ‘Christmas’ comes from the word ‘mass’, which, in its turn, is thought to come from the Latin phrase ‘Ite, missa est’ spoken by a priest at the end of the liturgy and which can be translated as ‘Go, it is the dismissal’. So Christmas means 'go away Christ'.
Quite Interesting (@qikipedia)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 13:00 GMT
My Grandma got @ryanharpergray a Nintendo Switch then immediately threatened him 😂Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 03:38 GMT
- evening phone call with uncles - text check-ins with new cute mutual aid / fellow chronic illness buddy Today ruled on both chosen and standard-issue family fronts. For the first time...ever? Look how much fun you can have while staying home! 😎 Stay home more plz!Kate Taggart (@qkate)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 05:41 GMT
Today was actually a really baller Christmas despite self-isolating: - morning video call with my aunt & uncle - virtual knitting circle crew special holiday edition hang - MarioKart with lil bro & his fiancé - virtual time w what would have been IRL board game friend couple ...Kate Taggart (@qkate)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 05:41 GMT
A very COVID christmas 😷🎄🌡😭 Not how I was expecting to spend the holidays AT ALL but I guess thankful for quarantine companions, American eggnog, reality TV and cuddly pups. Please please keep taking precautions, testing regularly and get boosters if you haven’t already ❤️🩹Carolyn Stransky (@carolstran)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 02:00 GMT
Yorkshire puddings belong in a Christmas dinner. That’s the tweet.PCSpecialist (@PCSpecialist)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 19:48 GMT
Kids if you like men with big white beards, the color red, and the redistribution of property, have I got a book for you
Shuja Haider (@shujaxhaider)Mon, 25 Dec 2017 15:27 GMT
The holidays with season 3 of covid
Connor Coyne (@concoyne)Thu, 23 Dec 2021 18:19 GMT
merry xmas
brian 💚 (@wavebeem)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 08:20 GMT
Where does John McClain fall on the Christmas spectrum?
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Earthling (@ziyatong)Fri, 24 Dec 2021 21:26 GMT
Tane Piper (@tanepiper)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 21:23 GMT
Santa has read your tweets all year. Many of you will be getting science books.
Larry Buhl (@LarryBuhl)Fri, 24 Dec 2021 15:21 GMT
Happy Lateral Flow Test day everyone
Karl (@karlstoney)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 11:38 GMT
Merry Christmas from the Holloway-George household Hope everyone celebrating has an amazing day 🐶🎄Ed George 🍝 (@Sp4ghettiCode)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 11:48 GMT
Happy Christmas, friends! 🎄💛
A Christmas Carol 🎄 (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 12:19 GMT
Happy Holidays, folks. My wonderful wife made me and the puppy matching jumpers and it’s making me so happy 😍Matt Brunt (@Brunty)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 12:19 GMT
Merry Christmas 🌲☃️🎅 how it how it’s started goingRichard Bradshaw (@FriendlyTester)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 12:17 GMT
You have been visited by disenfranchised Sean-ta Claus - may your Christmas be brighter than his was 😜 Merry Christmas to you all! 🎅Sean M. Tracey (@seanmtracey)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 12:28 GMT
My mate’s cousin, Matt, is quite laterally a genius. Praise be to his lateral flow church…
David Levin (@davidlevin123)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 00:04 GMT
Merry Christmas Doom Scroll and all those who etch upon it!
Dj Walker-Morgan (@Codepope)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 10:38 GMT
When they talk about Santa in the news
Killian Sundermann (@killersundymann)Fri, 24 Dec 2021 17:40 GMT
7yo was singing Deck the Halls and said "daily peril" instead of "gay apparel." Don we now our daily peril. 2021-22 in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen. 🙄Esther Duttweiler (@edutt88)Fri, 24 Dec 2021 04:31 GMT
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the cloud, Not a server was stirring, not even a route! The pagers were placed by the bedside with care, While warning anyone that deploying THIS Friday beware!swyx (@swyx)Sat, 25 Dec 2021 07:32 GMT
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