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maybe they are not that impossible if they have done 8 of them already

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Filming is officially underway on 'Mission: Impossible 8' 🎬 (via @THR | bit.ly/3JQlWbq)

Fandom (@getFANDOM)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 18:58 GMT

laura (@freezydorito)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 18:59 GMT

https://twitter.com/freezydorito/status/1507069489233502215

please imagine this as a minion meme on facebook.com thats how i imagine it thats how it should live in your minds

laura (@freezydorito)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 19:07 GMT

Today our team went through @abdulajet's Dev sticker collection, and I found an Octocat with @jna_sh's face on it. I was not allowed to keep it, so I can now officially tell all of #devrel that my train fare to London was wasted.

James Seconde (@SecondeJ)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 19:09 GMT

So here's why I bought a receipt printer: Every time one of my GitHub repos gets a new issue, I now get a physical ticket printed out on my desk 🪄

Andrew Schmelyun (@aschmelyun)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 11:44 GMT

Lina (@d0rkph0enix)Sun, 20 Mar 2022 22:55 GMT

https://twitter.com/ontoneio/status/1506781478004269070

Pay me. I'm sorry, I'm busy

Emelia 👸🏻 • 💙💛 (@ThisIsMissEm)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 01:00 GMT

It was MySQL, with the resource contention, in the database cluster

had a v intense therapy session about my emotions, my sense of identity and worth to others, pls send hugs and good vibes

maisie 💖 (@hiMaisie)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 14:58 GMT

want it all

poorly drawn lines (@PDLComics)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 15:00 GMT

The list of APIs in Government. Contribute to co-cddo/api-catalogue development by creating an account on GitHub.

big pet peeve: the use of "googling" to mean "searching" google is not the only search engine nor should searching on the web be synonymous with google

Abeba Birhane (@Abebab)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 11:31 GMT

TLDR; heroku labs:enable build-in-app-dir -a <APP_NAME> Now enjoy your Rails app booting...

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

Some absolute bangers of anecdotes in the replies here. Well done everyone. We’re all fucking idiots.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:36 GMT

https://twitter.com/HabitaresLtd/status/1506674968502939656

On the bus (London) to work. It was a rainy day so I had a wet umbrella at my feet. At my stop I went to pick it up but the handle somehow hooked under the trouser leg of the man next to me. The more I fumbled to retrieve it the more it disappeared further and further up his leg.

Rebecca Jules (@RebeccaJJules)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 18:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

That’s nothing. Wife and I met her friend for lunch one day- I bent over to give her friend’s baby a peck on the cheek, didn’t see she was breastfeeding until it was too late. It wasn’t her baby I kissed.

Conor O’Toole (@kippaxireland)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:54 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506656020151644160

I pulled away so fast. ‘Oh sorry I thought uh-‘ v clearly he doesn’t speak English. Is now just locked into this look of horror. This mad woman. Tried to eat his chicken. What if he had to dump his chicken? What if he worried it was now contaminated?

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:37 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

Was once followed by an oddball in the supermarket. Was frightened so started to speed up. So did he. Ended up with him literally chasing me up and down each and every aisle. Eventually, he caught up. And then he asked if he could have his trolley back. 😩

Fiona Barton (@fionabarton)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:30 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506656717337206790

There’s an allegory here. About…greed or something. I didn’t need food. I’d had a burrito. And an ice cream. But I saw this guy leaning against a shop window. And this possessive, animalistic entitlement washed over me. I deserved a free sample.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

My son took his jacket off on the escalator in the underground only for his hand to become trapped in the mouth of the girl behind him. As he removed the hand, she said, “sorry”. British politeness at its most extreme there.

Habitares (@HabitaresLtd)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:51 GMT

The worst thing just happened. I won’t recover. I just reached into a box of free samples outside a chicken restaurant. Only it wasn’t free samples. It was a man. Holding a box of chicken. His chicken. I tried to steal this man’s chicken.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:35 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

I want to fucking die

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:36 GMT

Seems as appropriate as ever

🇺🇦 Anthony, of course 💉💉💉 (@ofcAnthony)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 08:14 GMT

“Eating sugar will only make you feel better for a few minutes!” yeah as opposed to not eating sugar, which will make you feel better for zero minutes

Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_)Wed, 16 Mar 2022 20:39 GMT

Absolutely cannot believe that I spent this much time and money making my Good TV look like my Bad TV. (This uses a hardware-accelerated, 14-pass video shader, rendered at 4Kp60 resolution.)

Emily 🌦 (@emilyst)Sat, 12 Mar 2022 00:30 GMT

When I was in Primary school, they asked to draw our family. I didn't include my dad because he left us a few years earlier. I got shouted and and given a punishment. School tries to teach that a good 'Christian' family with tradwife is the only way.

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my 5-year-old niece was given this song to sing for Mothers’ Day at her CofE primary school… 🤢

Sophie Hill (@sophie_e_hill)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 14:36 GMT

Tane Piper (@tanepiper)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 07:18 GMT

my 5-year-old niece was given this song to sing for Mothers’ Day at her CofE primary school… 🤢

Sophie Hill (@sophie_e_hill)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 14:36 GMT

Brain just gave me a massive meta sign I have ADHD: I had an anxious meltdown about some basic tasks. So rather than doing the basic tasks I write down ways of helping myself in the future to do the basic task with less anxiety. Then I tweet about it rather than doing the task.

Tess Cooper 🏳️‍🌈 (@tessacooper5)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 07:32 GMT

Quinn the foster pup is still looking for her forever home. She is so smooshy 🥰 doggoneseattle.org/adoptable-dogs/

Ned Pyle (@NerdPyle)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:34 GMT

https://twitter.com/verge/status/1506723135990767630

Rip in peace man, even if you pronounced your own invention wrong.

little gay pufferfish 🐡 (@fluffykittencat)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:59 GMT

https://twitter.com/verge/status/1506723135990767630

John but not forgotten

Manticlops (@manticlops)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:12 GMT

jodspeed

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Stephen Wilhite, creator of the GIF, has died theverge.com/2022/3/23/2299…

The Verge (@verge)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:02 GMT

Vranac Srdjan (@vranac)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:21 GMT

Delivery guy tried to tell me corona was gone and that I don’t need to wear a mask so I told him there were 30,000 new cases yesterday. He asked if I meant in China, and I said no, here in the Netherlands, but then when he left I checked and I was wrong.

Hugh Rawlinson (he/him) (@hughrawlinson)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:48 GMT

https://twitter.com/hughrawlinson/status/1506689431922786309

I used the number from the weekend, which was out of date, it was 42,000 new cases yesterday. The false impression that everything’s fine now is making me feel like I’m insane.

Hugh Rawlinson (he/him) (@hughrawlinson)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:48 GMT

Management: “We need a rigorous process for managing and approving pay rises, occurring once per year.” Employees: *Apply for a new jobs because it’s quicker and easier than following the pay rise process.* Management: “Why is our churn rate so high!?”

🇺🇦 Tom Geraghty (@tom_geraghty)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:34 GMT

https://twitter.com/_msw_/status/1506459050594082820

I have noticed what seems like an almost generational divide in people who contribute to open source. Those who did open source before 2015, and those who think GitHub = OpenSource. 🙃

Aeva ✈ ShmooCon! ✨ (@aevavoom)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 14:58 GMT

When Russia sanctioned Canada, it barred leaders from all major federal parties, including conservative leaders. But when Russia sanctioned the U.S., it barred Democratic leaders only. It didn’t name a single GOP leader. The signal couldn’t be clearer.

George Takei (@GeorgeTakei)Wed, 16 Mar 2022 03:10 GMT