Kind likes

31st Jan: TELL US PRECISELY HOW MUCH EACH OF YOU 4.8 MILLION SELF-EMPLOYED BASTARDS EARN AND WE WANT IT TO THE FUCKING PENNY! 20th Mar: You probs all make 92 quid a week.

Andrew Dawson (@ADawsonBros)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:31 GMT

my brain when i try to read a book

*“Volk” intensifies* (@TinctureDrone)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 21:57 GMT

look at them social distancing

𝘛𝘑 (@ohTEEJ)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 21:15 GMT

Pretty much. Apocalypse fashion could be a thing. #security #SaturdayVibes

Lock Down Your Life (@lockdownurlife)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 13:14 GMT

What I expected my apocalyptic outfit to look like vs what it is.

Sebastian Tribbie (@YouveGotNoMale)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 17:32 GMT

Celebrities save the day!!

jacksfilms (@jacksfilms)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 19:45 GMT

This quarantine is affecting everyone in the work force, but it especially sucks for men We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing

lil cough (@_RyanKirk)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:56 GMT

https://twitter.com/FactsMatterNow/status/1241345752045178884

oh, Schrodinger's sarcasm, I see!!!! where it both is and isn't breathtakingly rude, right up until your audience is offended, and then it was just a joke and it's on them for not noticing that it was a joke!!!!!! what a great and innovative sort of concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alexandra Rowland ✨ (@_alexrowland)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 12:51 GMT

I’ve learned a lot from @cassidoo but by far my favorite is this terrifying emoji sequence 👁👄👁

Chance (@chancethedev)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 02:20 GMT

If you ever wondered how a bat pees. You’re welcome. It’s the best quarantine content I got.

🆁🅴🆃 ✌️❤️ (@tinch)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 01:45 GMT

PSA: Please stop calling human beings "resources", thx An S3 bucket is a resource, a developer is not

Tomasz #StayTheFuckHome Łakomy (@tlakomy)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 15:53 GMT

Right now we all need a little kindness. You know, like Ellen Degeneres always talks about! 😊❤️ She’s also notoriously one of the meanest people alive Respond to this with the most insane stories you’ve heard about Ellen being mean & I’ll match every one w/ $2 to @LAFoodBank

Kevin T. Porter (@KevinTPorter)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 17:12 GMT

Hello friends! 👋🏼 I’m still going to be doing this talk in 2 weeks at #WiTNotts — getting it all prepped for you today. 😊 It is now ONLINE only and I’ll be doing a live Q+A at the end. Details on technottingham.com ✨ Hopefully virtually see as many of you there!

twitter.com/wit_notts/stat…

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Morning and Happy Friday!! We're going remote and we can't wait to bring you #WiTNotts Birthday and @paulienuh's amazing talk that you can enjoy from the safety and comfort of your own home 🏠🎈🎂🎙️ All the details as and when they're available here 👉 nott.tech/wit-april

Women In Tech, Nottingham 🌈✨ (@WiT_Notts)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 08:41 GMT

Pauline P. Narvas @ 🏰 (@paulienuh)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:48 GMT

NaNoVirMo

Anil Dash @ 🏠 (@anildash)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 14:08 GMT

If you live in NG1, NG2, NG3, NG4 or NG5, we can deliver brunch, coffees, afternoon tea, cakes, the lot. Message me and I'll send you links etc Help small business out x

dan (@growupdan)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 08:39 GMT

The dad next door to our apartment in Brooklyn just took his small kids outside to let them scream as loud as they want for a few minutes before taking them back inside

Christopher Mathias (@letsgomathias)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:40 GMT

Learned this morning that my bf has been putting the thermometer that I always put in my mouth IN HIS ARMPIT. Truly horrifying quarantine discovery 😟

Carolyn (@carolstran)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:34 GMT

This is going to be awesome! Staying in is the new going out 🎉✨👇

Post details

Hello friends! 👋🏼 I’m still going to be doing this talk in 2 weeks at #WiTNotts — getting it all prepped for you today. 😊 It is now ONLINE only and I’ll be doing a live Q+A at the end. Details on technottingham.com ✨ Hopefully virtually see as many of you there!

twitter.com/wit_notts/stat…

Pauline P. Narvas @ 🏰 (@paulienuh)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:48 GMT

Women In Tech, Nottingham 🌈✨ (@WiT_Notts)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:50 GMT

I attended a Zoom meeting of doctors who, as a subculture, is not used to technology (we are the "Reply All" crowd), nor understands the "MUTE" function. Some guy in the middle of the meeting says, "This guy's a fucking idiot." And that ended the meeting.

Wayne (@Toaster_Pastry)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 03:35 GMT

It's only been a week, Google cloud isn't gonna be able to cope with the amount of cat photos🤦‍♀️

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Mood (jvt.me/mf2/2020/03/1e…)

Jamie Tanna | www.jvt.me (@JamieTanna)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:17 GMT

Anna ✨🙅‍♀️✨ (@anna_hax)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:30 GMT

Happy #Caturday

Larry the Cat (@Number10cat)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 08:08 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sp4ghettiCode/status/1241311102954332160

Not having trailing commas means having to modify two lines when logically you're only adding one. Or you do what I did yesterday and add a line in the middle!

Alex Pinkney (@alexp_1)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 10:35 GMT

who the fuck decided you can't have trailing commas in JSON

Kyle Arch (@KyleGeorgeArch)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 11:18 GMT

First we had Uber pickup points for ride sharing which were Buses. Now introducing real time podcasts 🤦🏻‍♂️

Jonathan (@jbjon)Sat, 21 Mar 2020 10:15 GMT

so no one was gonna tell me that walruses can whistle i just had to find this out on my own?

𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓎 (@FrickinDelanie)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 14:41 GMT

he ate ALL the jam!

Bond 🍸 (@CozyBond)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 12:56 GMT

Who’s going to break quarantine and go check on Will Ferrell? 💕 #imagine

Sharon (@ChefSharone)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 18:34 GMT

Having a very large G&T at the #TwitterWinchester - it's busy 😂💛 https://t.co/i8Br3iB0Jg

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Hello from Team Pegg. Come in, grab a seat, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over. 🍻#TwitterWinchester

Pegg News (@simonpegg)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 19:01 GMT

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 20:00 GMT

NONE OF THESE ARE ACCEPTABLE! (Yes, it is late and I am shouting at software. #ISO8601)

Terence Eden (@edent)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 23:06 GMT

This week in the #indieweb indieweb.org/this-week/2020…

IndieWebCamp (@indiewebcamp)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 22:15 GMT

https://twitter.com/kvanaren/status/1241005397177176064

“Hi this is Kyle, my favorite food is hot dogs but let’s circle back around noon per some offline discussions with local management about mac and cheese as I believe Mackenzie had a *fart noises* report on the offbrand offerings.”

OhGeekyGoodness💖💜💙 (@OhGeekyGoodness)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 14:40 GMT

https://twitter.com/kvanaren/status/1241005397177176064

“Hi this is Kyle, my favorite food is hot dogs but let’s circle back around noon per some offline discussions with local management about mac and cheese as I believe Mackenzie had a *fart noises* report on the offbrand offerings.”

OhGeekyGoodness💖💜💙 (@OhGeekyGoodness)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 14:40 GMT

"We have a proposal for you." "What's that?" "We'll clean the kitchen in exchange for Creme Eggs." "How many Creme Eggs?" "One each." "Seriously?" If I had realized Creme Eggs would be such premium bribe material I would have panic bought more of them

Ian Coldwater 📦💥 (@IanColdwater)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 23:32 GMT

https://twitter.com/IllanaG_06/status/1240655835233226753

Nah man, Friday is for ruling out Lupus

JD Biddle (@Scurvy_Pete)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 18:49 GMT

out of context parks & rec (@nocontextpawnee)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 22:25 GMT

So today on WFH, 3yo decided to help when I was presenting at a design review. Then she thought she would help me do typing. Apparently the most entertaining review EVER! Apparently career not over.

Pascal Dennerly (@pascaldoesgo)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 22:04 GMT

I now personally understand and feel how fucking pumped my dog is every time she gets to go outside on a walk because it's been FOREVER

Emily Kager (@EmilyKager)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 21:21 GMT

Office setup update: now with standing desk and 200% more disco piggy party

Kate (@SBinLondon)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 21:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/1240985888823410689

Not the actor Luke Wilson (@A_LukeWilson)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 13:45 GMT

https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/1240985888823410689

Very rare in Australia RN

Jefferson Retallack (@JWRetallack)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 13:20 GMT

https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/1240985888823410689

MIKE DENISON (@mikd33)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 13:46 GMT

https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/1240985888823410689

did I do this right

Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 13:06 GMT

all of us, every day

bletchley punk is keeping her distance (@alicegoldfuss)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:24 GMT

me ordering delivery in February: -lazy -needlessly expensive -pathetic me ordering delivery now: -heroism -singlehandedly keeping every small business afloat -Nobel Prize in Economics

Paul McCallion (@OrangePaulp)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 23:30 GMT

https://twitter.com/seldo/status/1241057590093606912

I’ve been micromanaging the roomba — I could get out the normal vacuum but being able to pick that critter up and tell it to DO IT AGAIN YOU MISSED A SPOT is the control I need rn.

Camille Teicheira (@fulgenteft)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 17:54 GMT

Morning and Happy Friday!! We're going remote and we can't wait to bring you #WiTNotts Birthday and @paulienuh's amazing talk that you can enjoy from the safety and comfort of your own home 🏠🎈🎂🎙️ All the details as and when they're available here 👉 nott.tech/wit-april

Women In Tech, Nottingham 🌈✨ (@WiT_Notts)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 08:41 GMT

Following the government's advice and drinking at home.

Simon Hodson (@GhibliCricket)Fri, 20 Mar 2020 17:49 GMT

Correct technique to wash your hands for proper disinfection. #CoronavirusOutbreakindia #CoronaVirusUpdate #COVID #CoronaVirusUpdate

Harjinder Singh Kukreja (@SinghLions)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 17:08 GMT

Really don't wanna fucking hear about how hard it is for celebrities to self-isolate in their multi-million-dollar, multi-acre, fully staffed mansions.

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Celebrities have been self-isolating for days now, and it's safe to say some are coping better than others buzzfeed.com/benhenry/celeb…

BuzzFeed UK (@BuzzFeedUK)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 17:45 GMT

ç (@gonzwitter)Thu, 19 Mar 2020 17:47 GMT