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Oh no it turns out Google translates instant translate feature will forcefully try and translate anything out in front of it even if the input is already in English Oh no...

avie (@coryoon)Tue, 14 Apr 2020 20:57 +0000

The CNN chyron writer has had it

Stay. The Fuck. Home. (@OhHaiDRol)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 22:34 +0000

I have a talent for pissing off men. It’s a gift really. I think I was born with it.

Patricia Aas (@pati_gallardo)Tue, 14 Apr 2020 12:41 +0000

turns out ICE are paying for your team plans

Andy Bell (@hankchizljaw)Tue, 14 Apr 2020 20:36 +0000

out of context brooklyn nine nine🏳️‍🌈 (@nocontxt99)Tue, 14 Apr 2020 20:25 +0000

CALLING A LYFT - expensive HITCHING A RIDE WITH CHARON, FERRYMAN OF THE DEAD - only costs one coin - sure there's just one destination but still, what a deal

SparkNotes (@SparkNotes)Tue, 14 Apr 2020 18:29 +0000

RECEIVING DATA

Crysis (@Crysis)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 15:01 +0000

New social distancing rules: you may go on walks with loved ones but they must remain 6 feet behind you and if you turn around to look at them, they will stay in the underworld forever

Social Distancing Rules (@quarantinerules)Sat, 28 Mar 2020 22:28 GMT

social distancing, day 1: I'm going to take this time to relax, self-reflect, maybe do some journaling social distancing, day 37: there's a woman in the wallpaper and I need to get her out

SparkNotes (@SparkNotes)Thu, 09 Apr 2020 15:22 +0000

Ouch, I've just noticed that #Windows10 has truncated my username to "rawko" locally. This may be enough for me to go back to Linux ... 😂

David McKay (@rawkode)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 09:45 +0000

Not commuted into London in over a month. Struggling like everyone else to come to terms with how life may never be the same but grateful to have the freedom to still explore this beautiful countryside on my doorstep (calumryan.com/note/3490)

Calum Ryan | calumryan.com (@calum_ryan)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 19:43 +0000

https://twitter.com/Pixel_Robots/status/1249774692413706242

P @StevenPears E @MrsEmma T @JamieTanna E @chris_emerson R @rizbizkits Oh my! When is the move... I can't actually wait! Type an @ and then each letter of your first name. The resulting list of screen names is your quarantine house...

Pete Gallagher - Azure #MVPBuzz (@pete_codes)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 22:00 +0000

https://twitter.com/MrsEmma/status/1249787037626089473

For god's sake don't eat it

Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 20:03 +0000

https://twitter.com/saramagenheimer/status/1249444971830280196

I like the idea that your square gets bigger the less you talk, so eventually the screen is dominated by huge silent faces

Omar Rizwan (@rsnous)Sun, 12 Apr 2020 21:53 +0000

I- What does this even mean

yeff (@yephph)Sun, 12 Apr 2020 08:03 +0000

Me jumping on the #AnimalCrossingNewHorizons bandwagon this weekend

Anna 🏠 (@anna_hax)Mon, 13 Apr 2020 07:24 +0000

Wait what IS this sentence?

Slade (@Slade)Sun, 12 Apr 2020 13:23 +0000

is this the purge

Matt Korda (@mattkorda)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 16:23 +0000

i live like a movie serial killer now. wake up, drink some black coffee then pace around my immaculate apartment, maybe do some push-ups. later, i'll take out the garbage full of anti-bacterial wipes and nitrile gloves while maintaining a a safe distance from everyone i see.

jenbo 🌹 (@irockgnomes)Sun, 12 Apr 2020 04:20 +0000

https://twitter.com/IamHappyToast/status/1249087444110229511

Meanwhile, he’s wearing all the PPE

C sea c 🌊©️ (@cribb_chelsea)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 22:21 +0000

"I'm sorry you feel we have blown up your home planet of Alderaan"

HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 21:30 +0000

I have bottomless rage at having been forced to spend about a thousand hours of my life in “physical education” classes that did not teach me how to stretch, train, or even lift a heavy box properly but did teach me to hate exercise twitter.com/cavalorn/statu…

Post details

PE teachers can wreck your health. Dr Anne Elliott found that bad experiences in school PE actively deterred people from taking exercise in later life & led to a state of alienation from their own bodies. eprints.mdx.ac.uk/22163/

Adrian Bott (@Cavalorn)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 10:45 +0000

Jonathan Korman (@miniver)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 13:38 +0000

A Facebook friend left their kid's chocolate Easter Bunny in the car a little too long and, uh

socially-distanced apolygetics (@JThomasReese)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 17:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/JThomasReese/status/1249020459192070150

Me at the beginning of 2020 vs me 3 months into 2020

Katie Summers ✨ (@katiessummerss)Sun, 12 Apr 2020 01:49 +0000

The Sun has lost huge sales already this year. 11% down (pre-#COVID19) It is struggling. Now they're posting that their rag 'costs less than a cup of coffee'. So please, do the right thing. Buy a coffee.

John O'Connell (@jdpoc)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 09:00 +0000

Stock Market has best week since 1938 while 16.6 million people lose their jobs. There is something inherently wrong this system.

Nabilah Islam for Congress (@NabilahforGA07)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 21:43 +0000

https://twitter.com/JohnShaw12345/status/1248980845882306562

What a name

Whosmoregrizzled (@Whosmoregrizzl1)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 19:39 +0000

Pair programming.

Mark Dalgleish (@markdalgleish)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 10:08 +0000

Not all fashion shows are cancelled 🎉

Natalia Antonova 🇺🇸🇺🇦 (@NataliaAntonova)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 15:32 +0000

Morning project was installing a bidet and my not-handy-in-any-way partner exclaims "wow how do you know how to do this?? Did you do this as a kid??" Yes, clearly the obvious answer is not that I can read and execute instructions but that as a child I moonlighted as a plumber

Emily Kager (@EmilyKager)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 21:36 +0000

I’d literally to do anything to be listening to Jess Glynne on a jet2 plane rn

miarobinson (@mia_robinson1)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 23:41 +0000

Today I delivered a food parcel to a flat which is in the old Terry’s chocolate factory and the fountain outside was a giant chocolate orange

Vicky Chandler (@VickyChandler)Thu, 09 Apr 2020 19:32 +0000

#Fleabag stage show tonight with my lovely sister 🙌🥂 (Remotely of course, I'm not a dick) So in love with Phoebe it's slightly ridiculous...

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 18:02 +0000

https://twitter.com/JamieTanna/status/1249033619072520198

Waaaaay ahead of you.

Pascal Dennerly (@pascaldoesgo)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 17:57 +0000

Jewish devs... I regret to inform you that you must halt using serverless and must use VMs until next Friday as it is PAASover

sMyle (@MylesBorins)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 02:28 +0000

I'm so excited to finally tell you... Developing Inclusive Mobile Apps: Building Accessible Apps for iOS and Android will be available early May from @Apress and Amazon! ☺️ amazon.co.uk/gp/product/148… apress.com/gp/book/978148…

Rob Whitaker (@RobRWAPP)Sat, 11 Apr 2020 12:50 +0000

So nice to see this in print at last

thattommyhall (@thattommyhall)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 18:29 +0000

found out that in elder scrolls there's a race of khajit that look like regular housecats but have human intelligence and wear silly clothes

reptile house ♆ enposting 🍄 (@penultimagent)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 20:33 +0000

It's a day ending in Y so Google is rebranding its chat clients, whose current names nobody bothered to learn: theverge.com/2020/4/9/21215…

Laurie Voss (@seldo)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 16:43 +0000

Sophie and I dressed up for watching jesus christ superstar earlier, and now shes in Pjs eating ice cream watching the vicar of dibley. Get you a girl that can do both <3

Richard Davies (@rwdrich)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 21:01 +0000

https://twitter.com/Loftio/status/1248620523849805826

That call started at 2pm, I am still in the hammock 😎🦋🌱 (because we have run out of food)

Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 16:17 +0000

RT @technottingham

The Tech Nottingham team are starting our bank holiday weekend with some fun planning 🤓 Hope to see you all for some community fun at Tech Nottingham on the 20th! 🍉

Carol ⚡️ (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 14:22 +0000

Exercising and staying hydrated on #FancyFriday 🤷🏻‍♀️

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 11:35 +0000

https://twitter.com/dmitshur/status/1248596283536834560

Here's some background on why this solves the particular problem you're talking about in this thread: aaronparecki.com/2018/07/07/7/o…

Aaron Parecki (@aaronpk)Fri, 10 Apr 2020 13:41 +0000