Kind likes

My husband still isn’t allowed to come to my next pregnancy scan but hey, he can now go to the pub and get a haircut that isn’t from me. Priorities!

Rosamund Urwin (@RosamundUrwin)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 09:05 +0000

It's not just house cats that enjoy sitting in boxes by the way. One of the likely explanations of this behavior is that it soothes anxiety. I can relate.

Gregor Schwayer (@gremisch)Sun, 05 Jul 2020 10:33 +0000

To anyone who feels like they “wasted” the time during quarantine because they didn’t write a book or learn a second language or get their bodies in shape, I have good news: Quarantine ain't over get back inside.

Denzel Washington (@DenzelWashngton)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 14:03 +0000

The ship is in the harbour now... We'll be starting the #TNHamAlong by all hitting ▶️ Play at 20:00 sharp and then chatting along in #Hamilton channel on the #TechNott Slack. Stay synchronised using this handy site, purpose built by @rizbizkits! tn-ham-along.glitch.me

Tech Nottingham (@technottingham)Sun, 05 Jul 2020 18:47 +0000

When they kill me, I know for a damn fact that I am going to get misgendered as much as Summer Taylor is, and that is depressing as fuck.

Ian Coldwater 📦💥 (@IanColdwater)Sun, 05 Jul 2020 15:38 +0000

You: "Curly fries" Me, an intellectual: "Rotatoes"

Jan Kaluza (@JKashaar)Sun, 05 Jul 2020 08:51 +0000

Their faces look like a before and after pic of a cartoon character looking down the barrel of a just lit cannon.

Tokyo Sexwhale (@tokyosexwhale)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 07:44 +0000

https://twitter.com/pstonethompson/status/1279516434884898817

🤷🏻‍♀️ Won't be for everyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 23:09 +0000

i literally spit out my water

maddie ✨ (@_AstroMaddie)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 01:00 +0000

i photoshopped donkey kong without his necktie because i figured hes wfh now anyway

laura whatevers (@freezydorito)Sun, 05 Jul 2020 00:19 +0000

Just watched The Stolen Earth and Journey's End back to back. So many moments that make me well up, but none more than watching Bernard Cribbins in those last minutes... 😭

Lex Lofthouse ✨ (@Loftio)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 22:34 +0000

Wow it’s a complete joke around canal street. It’s literally like manchester pride. police all bunched up to each other making their own new strain. economy saved ✅

Matt 😼 (@matthewherod)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 21:17 +0000

Happy Birthday to my wittiest friend, @anna_hax 💖 I hope you've had a most wonderful day 🥳 I can't wait to see even MORE people be *shooketh!* by your all-rounded awesomeness 💪✨ ALSO can't wait for when we can visit our next dessert spot in town! 🙈

riz (@rizbizkits)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 20:57 +0000

poly bi couples on okc are like ‘we are looking for a third’ until you ask if you can be in their youtube family plan and suddenly they don’t want a third anymore

laura whatevers (@freezydorito)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 20:32 +0000

Me realizing Hamilton died because he literally threw away his shot.

Jesse McLaren (@McJesse)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 05:20 +0000

https://twitter.com/AreTillery/status/1279324228605677569

That pattern works for all perfect squares off by one 10 * 10 = 100 9 * 11 = 100 - 1 16 * 16 = 256 15 * 17 = 256 - 1 25 * 25 = 625 24 * 26 = 625 - 1

Jacob Paris ✊ (@jacobmparis)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 13:58 +0000

255 is divisible by 17. I hate it.

Tillery (they/them) quarantined after teaching (@AreTillery)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 08:00 +0000

We've got a takeaway and we're going to watch #Hamilton 😱 Happy Birthday to me 😂🥳🎉 Thank you for everyone's lovely birthday wishes 💕

Anna 🏠 (@anna_hax)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 19:56 +0000

Tech users: hey can u pls do something, anything, to protect us from harassment, it can get pretty horrif— VCs: no moderation 🙂 only growth 😡 ~Unflattering audio is leaked from super special private app~ VCs: we need to act IMMEDIATELY to PROTECT ourselves this is an OUTRAGE

Kate 🍑 (@SBinLondon)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 16:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/MarksHustle/status/1279358098575155200

My bad. I was fucking pissed as a fart when I posted this. Even spent £50 promoting it 😂🤣

Major Tosspot (@majortosspot)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 14:11 +0000

https://twitter.com/alexellisuk/status/1279424232066371586

github.com/openssl/openss…

Chuck Tomkress (@chadtomkiss)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 14:44 +0000

It had to be done 🥺🥺🥺

Joshua Neal (@joshuaneall)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 22:10 +0000

He’s just tweeted out evidence that he’s breaking quarantine laws. Love it. twitter.com/nigel_farage/s…

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12 o’clock, first customer in. Love it.

Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 11:23 +0000

James Felton (@JimMFelton)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 11:52 +0000

https://twitter.com/leonardocarella/status/1279383665529827328

I wouldn't be surprised if that's how he has his living-room decorated.

Bill Hayden (@BillHayden65)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 12:59 +0000

Hello @kent_police this man was in Tulsa, Oklahoma on 20 June 2020. Why isn't he self-isolating?

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12 o’clock, first customer in. Love it.

Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 11:23 +0000

Leonardo Carella (@leonardocarella)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 11:56 +0000

Happy birthday to the absolute legend @anna_hax 🥳🎈🎉🎁 Always thankful to be able to call you a friend 💛 Hope you have a lovely day 🙌

Carol 😅 (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 14:10 +0000

https://twitter.com/gracepetrie/status/1279377202308681728

It's also what greats me at the gates of heaven. It's just in heaven, I have a machete.

Louis (@LouisRedux)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 11:49 +0000

The queen is tethered to my belly inside of a cage. Poetry.

Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 21:35 +0000

"LET THE 75TH HUNGER GAMES BEGIN"

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Imagine going to a pub and seeing this. Safest never to go again.

Dawn “Join A Union” Foster (@DawnHFoster)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 10:32 +0000

ECMAScript String Pusher (@tanepiper)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 11:04 +0000

I’m about to have a website! 😮

Emma (@foxshaped)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 21:43 +0000

https://twitter.com/codinghorror/status/1279182328430858241

Pizza is the best pizza topping! Calzones all the way! 🤣

Michael Johnson (@mcdanlj)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 22:54 +0000

did you know alienware made an ultrawide CRT prototype in 2008?

cursed computers (@cursedPC)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 09:33 +0000

Thanks to Ezra I was able to go out and run errands today. Usually during the week surrounding a fireworks holiday, I'm trapped inside, and even then I don't do well with the ones my neighbors light off. Feeling very grateful for my goober today 🐕‍🦺

Moriah Maney (@moriahmaney)Sat, 04 Jul 2020 01:24 +0000

The Six Grandfathers. Before taken and turned into Mt. Rushmore

Denis (Deknee) Gendron (@DekneeDenis)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 17:30 +0000

https://twitter.com/EricIdle/status/1279186752289165312

The only time Sir Robin has been a good role model!

Casey Scraper PT, DPT (@heyscrape)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 23:33 +0000

Do not listen. This is shit advice. I have nothing to do with this. In the wise words of my wife. “What has changed?” Nothing. There is no cure, there is no vaccine. Go out at your peril. Mingle at your own risk. Just remember “Bring out your dead.” Be safe Eric

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It's time to dust off your finest attire now that pubs & restaurants are open from tomorrow. Which Python will be inspiring your outfit? #MontyPython

Monty Python (@montypython)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 14:45 +0000

Eric Idle (@EricIdle)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 22:54 +0000

Just remembered that my 4-yr-old nephew asked me earlier this week whether I'd seen the film 'Knobs and Sticks'... ...he meant Bedknobs and Broomsticks 🤣

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 21:19 +0000

If you’re mad at ex-employees noting the negative impact of the work conditions at your employer right now because it makes the company look bad, uhhh, you might want to point that anger a little farther upwards towards the creators of those work conditions.

julie pagano (@juliepagano)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 19:01 +0000

Had a small meeting today about testing styles where there were no arguments or strongly held opinions. Opinions were discussed and respected. It was beneficial and supportive. Actually kind of fun. It was really weird....

Jessica White 🦎 (@JessPWhite)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 20:01 +0000

I will never understand how the English got this choice so fuckin wrong.

ambitious scrapey (@VisibleOtter)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 09:48 +0000

A play in three acts

Zack Smedley 🏳️‍🌈 (@Zack_Smedley)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 12:51 +0000

microwaves be like: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

🐤 (@csbnish)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 17:26 +0000

https://twitter.com/RoAnnaSylver/status/1278793209993244672

Not sure I'll ever forgive him for making Will Smith say "Fairy lives don't matter today" as a cop, while he hassled a civilian.

Strange Currencies (@SFF_Writer_Dan)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 22:43 +0000

I almost spit out my coffee

🔥"Love" Is A Verb🔥 (@RoAnnaSylver)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 20:50 +0000

WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme)Fri, 03 Jul 2020 13:30 +0000