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I love everything that #AWS allows me to do (and build), but @QuinnyPig is so dead-on about every new AWS service:

Brian Klaas (@brian_klaas)Mon, 27 Jul 2020 14:51 +0000

Tens of millions of Americans think the person on the left is the violent aggressor.

A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 19:51 +0000

📣 This coming week will be my last week at @monzo. I’ve decided to leave to work full time on @daybridgeapp. It’s a bittersweet moment. I’ve had the time of my life working at Monzo. But I also want to push myself further, and I’m enormously excited to become a founder.

Kieran McHugh (@kieranmch)Mon, 27 Jul 2020 11:55 +0000

when you accidentally discover poverty

accidentally left-wing (@accidental_left)Mon, 27 Jul 2020 07:04 +0000

I had a Linux joke, but some guy told me the joke I'm referring to is actually GNU/Linux... 🤔

Ivana Isadora Devcic (@ivana_isadora)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 00:23 +0000

finding out that lionesses have sex 20-40 times in a day when they're in heat and if her man can't keep up with her she demands to mate by biting his balls has been the highlight of my day

jasmine rice (@jasminericegirl)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 20:39 +0000

Reply to this tweet with a screenshot of your donation of $60 or more to secure.actblue.com/donate/state_s… and you can win this (basically new) PC lovingly hand built by me, in the delightful DAN A4 SFX case. Full specs in reply, and they're nice. Capped at 100 entries.

Jeff Atwood (@codinghorror)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 20:43 +0000

WHO DID THIS

Theo (@tprstly)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 18:41 +0000

Pépito is back home (23:28:07)

Pépito (@PepitoTheCat)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 21:28 +0000

My general rule is if there’s a dude a lot of men think is a genius and a lot of women are very wary of, the women are right.

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Elon Musk went from Tony Stark to Lex Luthor so fast

Armani (@historyofarmani)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 12:56 +0000

Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 20:11 +0000

PierreJoye (@PierreJoye)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 02:06 +0000

The first art piece I commissioned has arrived

tina (@patagucci_girl)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 04:09 +0000

Meghan Markle is very clearly an accomplished knight who rescued a helpless prince from a tower and any stories that don’t frame it like that are wrong, don’t @ me.

Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 17:47 +0000

https://twitter.com/matthew__ashton/status/1287171761927225344

She’s a cake!

Paul McBride (@ThePaulMcBride)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 09:33 +0000

https://twitter.com/Embotronic/status/1286382217019691014

Before I realized they were chains I thought they'd thrown Yoda into the Viagra mines....

Paddy (@P_Dawg_)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 09:29 +0000

putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith

lil red (@lilredridingwud)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 20:05 +0000

i have a code review joke but you wouldn't approve

Erin 🐠 (@erinfranmc)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 15:11 +0000

My cat is LIVID this morning

Darren Dutton (@Darren_Dutton)Sun, 26 Jul 2020 08:26 +0000

A melanistic fox. One of the rarest animals on the planet 🧡🖤 (Photographer: George Turner)

Nature and Animals (@_NatureAnimals)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 14:41 +0000

Never a truer statement has been made

miamariemacy (@MiaMarieMacy)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 20:44 +0000

The usual question: Would you ever date a transgirl? A better question: Would a transgirl ever want to date you?

Robin (@Robin_urlove)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 00:04 +0000

This is how cookie cutters are made

How Things Work (@Chemistryvid)Fri, 17 Jul 2020 06:52 +0000

I could tell you a monad joke, but first I'd need to tell you jokes about functors and applicatives.

Graham Hutton (@haskellhutt)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 07:22 +0000

need a boost?! meet my parents new pup/ewok!!!

jill wohlner (@jilljubs)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 17:19 +0000

Finally debt free after nearly 10 years thanks to Monzo’s redundo fundo (aka redundancy package) 🙌🏼❤️

Naomi Austin (@itsnaomiaustin)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 17:13 +0000

A real bugbear of mine is technical blog posts that describe code but don’t provide sample code. No matter how good you are at writing blog posts, trust me, you’re writing is not as descriptive as your code.

Rob Whitaker (@RobRWAPP)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 17:16 +0000

I have a joke about github nah just wanted to remind you that they are still helping to vanish children

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Two years after peak of Trump’s family separations again we‘re asking same question: where are the kids? This time it’s kids who were detained inside of a Hilton, are no longer there and neither ICE, nor ACLU which is suing for access to them, can immediately locate them tonight.

Jacob Soboroff (@jacobsoboroff)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 04:22 +0000

Barnard Castle Whiteboard Test (@jna_sh)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 17:16 +0000

I have a joke about senior faculty asking questions at seminars but it’s actually more of a comment

Dr. Caroline Bartman (@Caroline_Bartma)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 20:34 +0000

🙈

Ivan (@hellothisisivan)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 18:41 +0000

My new situation appropriate face mask arrived 😷

Andrew Hutchings (@LinuxJedi)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 12:19 +0000

Technical work is inseparable from politics. When you come at us asking us not to take a political position, you're demanding that we abide by your politics of silence. We refuse to be silent in the face of injustice. github.com/sass/sass-site…

Sass (@SassCSS)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 20:34 +0000

https://twitter.com/mr_goodwin/status/1286957528514007040

(the kids, I mean - though if @JamieTanna and @CarolSaysThings want to waste time on my pet projects, that's fine by me 😂)

Mark Goodwin (@mr_goodwin)Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:36 +0000

yay elletownsend.co.uk 3.0 is LIVE✨😊🎉💫 It now has a dark / light mode toggle, a complete re-brand, and more emphasis on things I'm currently focusing on! Hope you like it, bc I do🙌.

Elle Townsend🌸 (@_elletownsend)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 13:12 +0000

"Yeah so everyone thinks he can end world hunger but what they don't understand is that his wealth isn't actually in his bank account it's in his assets and shares"

Has Jeff Bezos Decided To End World Hunger? (@HasBezosDecided)Thu, 23 Jul 2020 12:38 +0000

Soona (@soonaorlater)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 19:47 +0000

https://twitter.com/taearls/status/1286725889552777216

How to give bad advice to new coders (as a millionaire)

keziyah (@KeziyahL)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 18:18 +0000

Lmaoooooo 🤣 "How I became a racist loser (as a millionaire)"

keziyah (@KeziyahL)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 18:06 +0000

😂

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I promised my customers to support them 24/7, and today's 24/7

Shaun_Meh (@shaun_meh)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 02:46 +0000

Shaun (@sdh100Shaun)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 21:11 +0000

It’s noticeable how even totally ordinary streets in London look beautiful if you remove on-street parking

Jon Stone (@joncstone)Thu, 23 Jul 2020 17:14 +0000

https://twitter.com/sillypunk/status/1286697593708392449

I think there's a problem with Twitter - because the obligatory photo didn't attach.

Terence Eden (@edent)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 16:41 +0000

being a senior software engineer means being able to architect an entire end-to-end application in your head but having to Google how to check if a JS array contains an element because you can only remember how to do it in three other languages

Natal1312 (@nex3)Thu, 23 Jul 2020 22:21 +0000

I have some BIG NEWS that I can't keep 🤐 any more... After 6.5 years, I'm leaving GDS in September! In October I'll be joining GitHub as a Senior Engineer doing platform-y things!

Issy Long (@issyl0)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 11:37 +0000

Your newest Java Champion couldn't figure out why her program wasn't working, only to discover she used = instead of == in a condition. I teach this stuff to people and yet still goof up. You're doing fine ❤️

Angie Jones (@techgirl1908)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 15:20 +0000

Be kind to your browser and your mind.

Molly Struve 🦄 (@molly_struve)Fri, 01 May 2020 00:33 +0000

https://twitter.com/bitandbang/status/1286348769181802500

is this like that dress thing

Tatiana Mac (@TatianaTMac)Thu, 23 Jul 2020 17:15 +0000