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Everything sucks right now but today is Halloween I’m so focusing on that - starting with these bbs 👻💉🕷🍩

Ghoullyn Scaresky 🧟‍♀️ (@carolstran)Sat, 31 Oct 2020 11:51 GMT

I present to you, with zero context, the worst thing I have ever created: a hamster with Steve Buscemi eyes

SpoOoOoOopy Jason 💀🦇 (@jlengstorf)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 15:22 GMT

If you're qualified for this then apply now. @TashJNorris is awesome and I would definitely work for her.

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I'm hiring! We're looking for a senior SecOps & IR Engineer to join our team over at @moonpigtech. We're a small team, so looking for someone keen to get stuck in and who is looking for growth! First time 'senior' engineers are WELCOME! jobs.lever.co/moonpig/530fa7…

Tash Norris (@TashJNorris)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 13:49 GMT

Ben Morgan (@bmorg)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 20:30 GMT

Hey so I liked that there #TheMandalorian episode. That was pretty cool.

Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 23:19 GMT

The #parksandrecreation filibuster is happening! '...from the twin suns of Tatooine. We are now close on the mouth of the Sarlacc Pit. After a beat, the gloved Mandalorian armour gauntlet of Boba Fett grabs onto the sand outside the Sarlacc pit.' #TheMandalorian

Liz 🍀 (@_theliz)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 21:03 GMT

i feel pretty good about my looks thanks tho!!! https://t.co/dBInU9mKXo

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https://twitter.com/Indian_Bronson/status/1322203817040089094

do these shitlib girls think they look like this? Reese and her co star are pleasing to look at while these shitlibs look like washed up biker chicks with tats and dyed hair.

Sir Harsh (@SirHarsh1)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 15:55 GMT

moriah 👻 (@moriahmaney)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 20:57 GMT

The audacity to think we care what they think when we hold this much power 🤣 https://t.co/3xO00Ic1Fs

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i feel pretty good about my looks thanks tho!!! twitter.com/SirHarsh1/stat…

moriah 👻 (@moriahmaney)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 20:57 GMT

Emily (@EmilyKager)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 22:02 GMT

I have a confession to make... I'M A CEREAL KILLER! 🔪 I ate him for breakfast! Mwahahahaha....! 🎃 Happy Halloween, folks 🎃

Mica Bell (@MicaSophieBell)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 11:13 GMT

https://twitter.com/herballicnallic/status/1322220088905392128

kylie robison (@kylie_robison)Fri, 30 Oct 2020 17:45 GMT

Thinking about the guy that put cheese in a chocolate fountain

Parker (@panoparker)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 21:32 GMT

I had to defend my partner’s gender and their validity at a team standup long ago because someone misgendered them and I wouldn’t back down. “I disagree with you” is a lol well and good for discussing agile practices or something, but I will not give people one inch to be bigots.

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The replacement of "I disagree with you" – which implies this is simply my different opinion – with "that's a bad take" – which implies some sort of universal standard of wrong – sucks.

DHH (@dhh)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 19:01 GMT

Majin BOoOooO-urgeoise (@furioursus)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 22:12 GMT

I spent an embarrassing amount of time doing this. I regret nothing

it reads as standard library DOH (@Stdlibdoh)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 08:25 GMT

A much-needed update to the meme

Chris Hartjes (@grmpyprogrammer)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 19:48 GMT

People really don't know how disrespectful it is to speak in jargon. My doctor does it. My lawyer does it. I have to check them every time. To commit to your industry's vocabulary over the responsibility of communication is dangerous and arresting to your clients.

Alex Wolf (@alexwolfco)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 14:05 GMT

Incredible! This One Man Disproved Years Of Woman's Personal Experience And Expertise With One Confident And Disparaging Comment!

Emily (@EmilyKager)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 17:28 GMT

In a meeting with 15 other people watching the host update Confluence. Send 🍺

Rob Allen (@akrabat)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 16:21 GMT

9/11 kills 3,000 people, and we spend the next two decades, thousands of lives, and many billions of dollars attacking the Taliban. Covid kills 250,000 people, and some dudes are like, "Wearing masks and not going to bars is an overreaction!"

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WATCH: MSNBC's Chuck Todd Asks if Joe Biden is Taking Covid 'Too Seriously' mediaite.com/a/gnzmo

Mediaite (@Mediaite)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 14:48 GMT

James S.A. Corey (@JamesSACorey)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 16:03 GMT

Tune in next week as @codingblackfems take over @WiT_Notts for a night of amazing talks! I'll be talking about finding your 'why' and how to keep motivated 💪🏿💪🏿 #BlackWomenInTech

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Join us on Thursday 5th November as @WiT_Notts share their platform with the @codingblackfems community! You'll be able to watch 7 talks from 7 amazing women You can find out more about the talks and sign up here: Right nott.tech/wit-nov-20 #BlackTechTwitter #WomenInTech

Coding Black Females (@codingblackfems)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 09:00 GMT

Bola Ajose 👩🏿‍💻 (@hola_bolaa)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 15:57 GMT

no one: absolutely nobody: DevOps people: HAVE YOU HEARD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, YAML? LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU NEED ON A COMPUTER IS BETTER WITH YAML, HELL IT'LL EVEN SHAVE YOUR LEGS FOR YOU

Kat Cosghoul's Spooky DevOps 💀 (@Dixie3Flatline)Tue, 07 Jan 2020 22:29 GMT

Spaghetti Boats! It's like the personal pizza of pasta! 🍝

Chefclub Network (@ChefclubNetwork)Thu, 15 Oct 2020 15:00 +0000

Why yes I will be going to all my afternoon meetings like this. Watch out @VMwareTanzu

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OK I’m ready for #SoftwareCircusFest

Hannah Foxwell (@HannahFoxwell)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 12:01 GMT

Hannah Foxwell (@HannahFoxwell)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 14:00 GMT

😅 We have learned to sit nice for one photo only

Ed George (@Sp4ghettiCode)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:05 GMT

TIL that Twitter doesn’t store tweets in one place, for read efficiency it stores one copy of the tweet in each follower’s timeline. Except for celebrities with lots of followers. I suspect this is the real reason we still don’t have an edit button.

Kieran McHugh (@kieranmch)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 11:06 GMT

Based on some life experience

Emily (@EmilyKager)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 00:02 GMT

AYOOOOOOO LMFAOOOOOOOO I'm DYING

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Man’s Halloween decor so gruesome cops are called several times bit.ly/2TtAxRV

Orlando Sentinel (@orlandosentinel)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 20:04 GMT

jacky is on a break - DMs only (@jackyalcine)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:44 GMT

Classical Studies Screams for Halloweenistic Teens (@CSMFHT)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:42 GMT

9 year old me staring at the windows media player for hours

AM 🧻 (@Abdulmir19)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 16:48 GMT

This is a brutal quip at the end of a news report by @BBCSimonMcCoy

Scott Bryan (@scottygb)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 15:37 GMT

"You don't get credit for turning on a new system until you turn off the old one"

Kris Nóvagghh!! 👻 (@krisnova)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 15:16 GMT

The emotional rollercoaster of being an internet hate figure

Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew)Wed, 28 Oct 2020 10:34 GMT

https://twitter.com/JamieTanna/status/1321219196282376192

morph appreciation over 9000! 🥺✨

rizwana akmal khan (@rizbizkits)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 22:41 GMT

After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.

The Expanse (@ExpanseOnPrime)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 21:13 GMT

This was a lovely notification! Thank you to the folks at @fbOpenSource ⭐️ I *wish* that I hosted @inspirefigures every week, but unfortunately, I only host it once every month (for now!)😊 #inspiringfigures #womenintech

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🏅Community member spotlight🏅 Pauline (@paulienuh) is an #OpenSource champion, and the host of the amazing series @inspirefigures. Each week, she has inspiring conversations with people you should really know about. 👇 Watch, read, subscribe 👇 inspiringfigures.co

Facebook Open Source (@fbOpenSource)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 16:39 GMT

Pauline P. Narvas➖pawlean.com (@paulienuh)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 16:42 GMT

A white woman got a promotion with only 3 years experience, we fixed the job gap everyone

malice ghoulpus (@alicegoldfuss)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 01:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/ambrwlsn90/status/1321011122519105537

Andy Bell (@hankchizljaw)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 20:24 GMT

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/1321151224889151490

Hi Poors! I know you're hurting right now and can't figure out how you're going to feed your family, but please enjoy these photos of my family's expensive vacation! I know I'm lucky to be so fabulously wealthy so I'll make mention of it to sound sympathetic (I'm really not tho).

🌴breathe in, breathe out, move on🌞 (@tropicalsoul)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 19:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/edent/status/1321157370752499715

I would like a refund on my fortune cookie please! 🥠

Terence Eden (@edent)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 20:14 GMT

People who say “Can you put in a meeting and invite...” You typed the message now open the 🤬 calendar.

Kara Radcliffe (@Karvarad)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 14:22 GMT

It's National #Stress Awareness Week next week. I found this out from an email from the @StressMgtSoc, which I did not sign up to. And it's making me stressed.

Rachel Morgan-Trimmer (@SparkleClass)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 14:06 GMT

4yr ago I found out black cats were not wanted. Why? I had a home to offer and found an abandoned black kitten with @CatsProtection She was timid & scared. Lune is now the sweetest natured beautiful cat ever & is best pals with my 3yr old daughter #BlackCatDay

Tim Dawson 🇪🇺 (@doctpd)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 09:44 GMT

Someone in my neighborhood group shared these photos of the cake someone ordered and what they ended up with. It seems to match the year we’re all having so I wanted to share it with you.

Michelle Bhasin (@michellebhasin)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 03:32 GMT