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If you're having a bad day here's Espresso making lazy biscuits on my thigh. She's an angel

Kat Cosgrove is spooky year-round (@Dixie3Flatline)Tue, 17 Nov 2020 01:05 GMT

Why are these so funny 😭😭😭😭

Nāsha 🖤 its a long A (@oSoNasha)Sun, 15 Nov 2020 15:54 GMT

https://twitter.com/MrAndrew/status/1328706837231886336

What about cold pizza?

Emma (@MrsEmma)Tue, 17 Nov 2020 16:07 GMT

https://twitter.com/charlottejee/status/1328715805937242112

The team at @infosec_hoppers including @Gem_Hill @ms__chief @inclusively_amy @JayHarris_Sec, also the gang at @WiT_Notts Inc @anna_hax @CarolSaysThings @JamieTanna @MrAndrew

Rachel Morgan-Trimmer (@SparkleClass)Tue, 17 Nov 2020 15:46 GMT

unlimited PTO 28 days enforced minimum, you get locked out of vpn/gmail/corp github whatever for the last 28 working days of the year if you don't take any.

Penelope is a code sorceress (@penelope_zone)Tue, 17 Nov 2020 13:51 GMT

everyone needs to see this

krisp (@k3ystothecity)Sun, 15 Nov 2020 18:32 GMT

Woman on internet: *talks about pockets in dresses* Man on internet:

Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 07:53 GMT

i would take a bullet for this cat

Rob N Roll (@thegallowboob)Sun, 15 Nov 2020 14:41 GMT

twitter.com/sportscenter/s…

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What's something that ISN'T a sport, but still FEELS like a sport?

SportsCenter (@SportsCenter)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 20:37 GMT

ollie (@s4meoldscene)Sun, 15 Nov 2020 22:40 GMT

I added experimental RSS feed support back to my blog, plus supports for Atom and JSON Feed Feed readers should be able to detect them

Jane Manchun Wong (@wongmjane)Sun, 15 Nov 2020 22:48 GMT

Using cold weather, this guy shows everyone how wearing a mask is effective. Wear a mask.

blasianFMA 🇵🇭🏳️‍🌈 (@blasianFMA)Mon, 16 Nov 2020 03:32 GMT

I've found that thinking of COVID as invisible cigarette smoke helps me reason about it in various situations. Imagine everyone's breathing is smoking. If you could smell the smoke, it's dangerous. An indoor gathering would reek.

Kelly Ellis (@justkelly_ok)Sun, 15 Nov 2020 23:04 GMT

I (girlpussy haver) love my girlfriend (girldick haver) and our beautiful LESBIAN GIRL relationship and y’all can eat shit about it

bat👻🦇 (@softlikemochi)Sat, 14 Nov 2020 22:11 GMT

I guess cooking streams aren't allowed on Twitch anymore. I made a smoothie and my blender was flagged as a Skrillex song.

Mofoe (@MofoeTV)Sat, 14 Nov 2020 02:10 GMT

Has anyone in the history of humanity been able to open a bacon package by the corner tabs? WHY EVEN PUT THEM THERE. It’s a sick joke and we’re all just playing along like it’s normal.

emily freeman (@editingemily)Sat, 14 Nov 2020 16:32 GMT

Open source!!!!!!!!

Penelope is a code sorceress (@penelope_zone)Sat, 14 Nov 2020 20:43 GMT

https://twitter.com/penelope_zone/status/1327713715777626113

open source maintainers🤝parents spending your life dealing with people who think you owe them something

Siân Griffin 🏳️‍⚧️ (@sgrif)Sat, 14 Nov 2020 20:45 GMT

Happy Diwali!!! Wishing you all the best over the festival of light and the coming year🕯️🎆🪔🧡 #HappyDiwali

Women In Tech, Nottingham 🌈✨ (@WiT_Notts)Sat, 14 Nov 2020 16:00 GMT

Crunch crunch crunch 🥣

Sasha Rosenbaum (@DivineOps)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 22:14 GMT

PR reviews

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What’s something that FEELS like a personal attack on you but isn’t?

holly✨ (@hollyshortall)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 10:12 GMT

Tierney Cyren 🍑 (@bitandbang)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 17:34 GMT

This Maori baby learning the Haka Dance is everything i want to see from the internet 💪🤗

Theo Shantonas (@TheoShantonas)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 21:16 GMT

My husband set up a motion sensor sign that lights up when my cat poops....please hire him, he has too much time on his hands

Hannah Solow (@hamstertalk)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 18:44 GMT

https://twitter.com/jna_sh/status/1327307328341864448

Barnard castle flags at half mast

Joe (@jna_sh)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 17:49 GMT

Every once in a while I get to be on one of my favorite shows. New season of Big Mouth is coming!

Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 16:24 GMT

This whole “another” lockdown thing, like some of us ever left the first one??????

Alicia Lutes (@alicialutes)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 17:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/JamieTanna/status/1326595477660463105

Subscribed to your RSS feed. Nice blog. I like the design and colours.

Dmitrii Kabardinov (@dkabardinov)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 14:12 GMT

you can’t just respect the penis. you’ve gotta

Rachel (@femaleredhead)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 21:25 GMT

You can pet the cat in Spider-Man: Miles Morales

Can You Pet the Dog? (@CanYouPetTheDog)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 01:25 GMT

A thing I miss about virtual conferences is coordinating my shirt with my content. Since the focal length on my camera lens prevents me from showing off my shirt while I talk, here's a selfie. Come see me talk gatekeeping at #AllDayDevOps at 11:30pm Eastern!

Kat Cosgrove is spooky year-round (@Dixie3Flatline)Fri, 13 Nov 2020 03:37 GMT

Working in toxic environments because at least it will help you get a “seat at the table” The seat at the table:

Dewayne Perkins (@DewaynePerkins)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 18:45 GMT

I don't mean to ruin your Friday feeling before Friday even gets here, but have you considered that it's Friday the 13th? In 2020? 😱

Anthony, of course (@ofcAnthony)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 21:10 GMT

Writing first tweet from mechanical keyboard. Never been so exited to type something in my life.

Elle Townsend 🌸 (@_elletownsend)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 15:52 GMT

Developing web apps with Node (h/t bit.ly/nodecat)

Addy Osmani (@addyosmani)Thu, 12 Nov 2020 09:00 GMT

Okay let's give this meditation thing a go. Hmmm. Nope. Not really doing it for me. What am I doing wrong? youtu.be/7f8kahmsJ-s

Louise Paling (@short_louise)Wed, 11 Nov 2020 08:56 GMT

I can't stop thinking about this pick-up line a guy used on me the other day 😂 "You're a software engineer for Spotify? That's good because I have a problem that needs reporting. You're not appearing as the hottest single of the week. Must be an error" Sir, you win.

Emma Bostian 🐞 (@EmmaBostian)Wed, 11 Nov 2020 09:34 GMT

not many things piss me off as “alt="Image"” on here put alt text on your images. it literally takes *seconds* y'all piss me off

Andy Bell (@piccalilli_)Wed, 11 Nov 2020 15:02 GMT

In last week's Reddit AMA, I said we had more changes to the S7 Battle Pass planned. Starting today, we're reverting the difficulty of the daily challenges to S6 levels while keeping the number of stars rewarded the same. See image below for the before-and-after comparison:

Chad Grenier (@ChadGrenier)Tue, 10 Nov 2020 18:25 GMT

I'm really excited about my blog posts coming out this month. Lil bit proud of myself for putting my mind to it and writing consistently since January!

Elle Townsend 🌸 (@_elletownsend)Wed, 11 Nov 2020 12:32 GMT

I'm branching out to the late night infomercial market

Sasha Darling (@xoSashaDarling)Mon, 09 Nov 2020 23:15 GMT

I just noticed that I used the word "insane" in something recorded when I should have used "wild" or whatever. I'm trying to get out of the habit of using words like that cause it's kinda shitty and ableist, so if you hear me do that, I'd appreciate a reminder. Thanks. Sorry.

Kat Cosgrove is spooky year-round (@Dixie3Flatline)Wed, 11 Nov 2020 02:36 GMT

*pats my chest* we're safe

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Climate crisis could kill off great tits, scientists warn independent.co.uk/environment/cl…

The Independent (@Independent)Tue, 10 Nov 2020 15:16 GMT

mechanical turkey (@alicegoldfuss)Tue, 10 Nov 2020 19:06 GMT

I told you November is the good month.

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 🏛 (Eviction Unit) (@yoyomorena)Tue, 10 Nov 2020 21:49 GMT

Looking forward to our next meetup 12th Nov 18:30 bst - @Mark_Baker #phpc more details at phpminds.org Thanks to the support this month from @wearejh and @technottingham

php[minds] (@PHPMinds)Tue, 10 Nov 2020 21:56 GMT

Just another day at the office.

Ellie Betts (@ebettswriter)Tue, 10 Nov 2020 09:55 GMT

Financial Times dropping this article banner 😭😭

Luke Exton (@LukeExton)Mon, 09 Nov 2020 21:12 GMT