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People who say “Can you put in a meeting and invite...” You typed the message now open the 🤬 calendar.

Kara Radcliffe (@Karvarad)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 14:22 GMT

It's National #Stress Awareness Week next week. I found this out from an email from the @StressMgtSoc, which I did not sign up to. And it's making me stressed.

Rachel Morgan-Trimmer (@SparkleClass)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 14:06 GMT

4yr ago I found out black cats were not wanted. Why? I had a home to offer and found an abandoned black kitten with @CatsProtection She was timid & scared. Lune is now the sweetest natured beautiful cat ever & is best pals with my 3yr old daughter #BlackCatDay

Tim Dawson 🇪🇺 (@doctpd)Tue, 27 Oct 2020 09:44 GMT

Someone in my neighborhood group shared these photos of the cake someone ordered and what they ended up with. It seems to match the year we’re all having so I wanted to share it with you.

Michelle Bhasin (@michellebhasin)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 03:32 GMT

It's simple: for as long as tech turns a blind eye to white supremacists it is a comfortable place for them to exist and they will continue to thrive. It should be the opposite. Do better. De-platform hate.

Andy Bell (@hankchizljaw)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 12:42 GMT

who in the hell called it The Law of Diminishing Returns and not More's Law

Gary Bernhardt (@garybernhardt)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 22:12 GMT

Lot's of exciting (terrifying) change is occurring at the moment including starting a new job and role next year! Looking forward to a new challenge and the many new things to learn. (More details to come later)

Jessica White 🦎 (@JessPWhite)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 18:37 GMT

Top 5 regrets of dying people: Wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Wish I had let myself be happier.

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 12:31 GMT

https://twitter.com/jackyalcine/status/1320480857837060096

Agh, wtf, I actually feel like I shouldn't like this show anymore lol

jacky. (@jackyalcine)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 03:30 GMT

WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 03:00 GMT

I like The Boys so much lol

jacky. (@jackyalcine)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 20:07 GMT

Not long now until Britain loses its mind at how dark it is.

VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 14:55 GMT

It's Ezra's first birthday! He's my service dog in training and he is so so special. This will be the thread to recap the past year. #HappyBirthdayEzra is the tag to mute if you're not interested! 🎂🥳

moriah 👻 (@moriahmaney)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 19:08 GMT

we r watching 2012 the disaster movie and i just think it’s so funny the way this movie thought western governments would have a 3-6 month head start in knowing of an impending catastrophe and would actually prepare for it

feral pumpkin (@freezydorito)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 15:08 GMT

Haven’t we done enough damage in 2020?

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Russian scientists defrosted several prehistoric worms, and two woke up. After thawing, the two worms began to move and eat. One is 32,000 years old and the other 41,700 years old.

Strange and Amazing Facts (@StrangeFactoid)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 22:50 +0000

Kelly Vaughn 🐞 (@kvlly)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 17:09 GMT

back in 2014, Happy by Pharrell spent 10 weeks at number one. could u imagine if he dropped that song now?? He would get 3 streams and a cease and desist letter from society

first-mate prance (@bocxtop)Sat, 27 Jun 2020 14:23 +0000

https://twitter.com/lrvick/status/1319910988855070720

Hey @GitHub. Remember that security bug where anyone can attach commits to repos they don't control? That bug you said you wont fix? It was used to attach the "youtube-dl" source code to your own DMCA repo. Have fun @DMCA. You two deserve each other. github.com/github/dmca/tr…

Lance R. Vick ( @lrvick@mastodon.social ) (@lrvick)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 06:10 GMT

"I'm in this photo and I don't like it."

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Me: I have high cholesterol? How can that be? I'm vegan! My vegan diet:

Holly Clarke (@HollyClarke)Sat, 24 Oct 2020 16:09 +0000

Terence Eden (@edent)Sat, 24 Oct 2020 16:24 +0000

The real test of the UK is whether by Election 2024, we all forget the Tories caused the most excess deaths in Europe, gave the top grades to private school kids, starved poor kids while their parents were out of work, blew £millions on dodgy contracts and left the North to rot.

Femi (@Femi_Sorry)Sun, 25 Oct 2020 08:00 GMT

Coughing over trays of liquid nitrogen with and without N95 mask, face shield, and surgical mask.

Tommy Technetium (Tom Kuntzleman) (@pchemstud)Tue, 21 Jul 2020 14:12 +0000

out of context brooklyn nine nine🏳️‍🌈 (@nocontxt99)Sat, 24 Oct 2020 19:21 +0000

We’re setting off for a week in the middle of the woods in Scotland, to disconnect and change the scenery a bit. Stay safe, and see you on the other side! ✌🏼

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 24 Oct 2020 11:38 +0000

We Will Remember Them

Forcespride (@poppypride1)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 15:40 +0000

We should start calling social media influencers who are continuing to go to huge parties without masks "influenzers"

Emily (@EmilyKager)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 23:58 +0000

How it started How it’s going

James Felton (@JimMFelton)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 17:14 +0000

These Republican and Democratic candidates running for Utah Governor have done something i’ve NEVER seen before - they made a political advert.... TOGETHER. Sound on:

Lee Trott (@MC372)Wed, 21 Oct 2020 22:47 +0000

We put so much effort into building a company people would want to use that we didn't realise we were creating a company people would want to work at. It's incredibly humbling.

Jenni Brown 🍉 (@madebyjenni)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 23:30 +0000

THE FIGHT OR FRIGHT 再び、悪夢の世界へ... #ApexLegends

伊也与(iy4) (@iyiy_4E)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 18:11 +0000

On PTO next week so I'm gonna let Espresso answer emails for me

Kat Cosghoul's Spooky DevOps 💀 (@Dixie3Flatline)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 18:29 +0000

When I moved to the UK I didn’t think there was much out-there unchecked corruption like we have back home, but it just seems to be par for the course now 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Thread: Boris Johnson has just awarded his friend David Ross, the Carphone Warehouse owner worth £700 million, £85k for a private opera company in his house from the funds designated for struggling arts venues/orgs. Meanwhile many that serve our communities got nothing. Nada. 1/4

John Spiers (@squeezyjohn)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 09:01 +0000

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 06:33 +0000

People really don't like it when I refer to my sterilisation by saying "I'm immune to children"

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Fri, 23 Oct 2020 10:46 +0000

https://twitter.com/PFNotts/status/1319183429259452417

Thank you! I love my hoodie 💜🐋 and Morph loved the ribbons too 😻

Anna 🏠 (@anna_hax)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 08:22 +0000

Doing a solo presentation to about 100 students as the president of hackSheffield, talking about all the great things that we’ve worked so hard as a team to put together for hS6, and getting a “Jen is so cute” in the chat is peak being a woman in STEM. 🤦‍♀️

Jen (@JenOllett)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 14:41 +0000

not just cookie warnings but now detailed cookie preferences with literally hundreds of choices 😐😐 make it stop

Oliver Beattie (@obeattie)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 17:12 +0000

I talked to my therapist today about recently becoming a hate figure for hoards of internet running and cycling bros. Suffice to say It was a new one for both us 😅

Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 18:08 +0000

The Children's Minister, voting against free school meals for the poorest children. That is all.

Martin Barrow (@MartinBarrow)Wed, 21 Oct 2020 20:31 +0000

Can’t see people, now the sunshine is also gone.... better double down on mid week smoking... smoking meat that is.

Yvo (@yvov)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 12:15 +0000

Did someone say #Halloween?!?? 🎃👻🕷️

Tech Nottingham (@technottingham)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 07:00 +0000

tech companies championing their good ol' "diversity" like 👀

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to be clear, this was not the representation i wanted

Ashmi (@_ashmip)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 01:59 +0000

rizwana akmal khan (@rizbizkits)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 15:57 +0000

https://twitter.com/_ashmip/status/1319096040595881984

Like...she doesn't even sing at all. I'm usually pretty lax with this kinda stuff, but deadset - who thought this was a good idea?

𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕙 (@r_nd_rgh)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 05:03 +0000

I’ve become the person who cleans before the cleaner comes 🧼

Emma Northcott (@EmNorthcott)Thu, 22 Oct 2020 16:43 +0000

I choose you. I choose us. Based on a real life story, #AllMyLife in cinemas October 23.

Universal Pictures UK (@universaluk)Mon, 12 Oct 2020 15:20 +0000