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Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat)Tue, 22 Dec 2020 02:53 GMT

you should never be ashamed of your kinks - unless you’re into humiliation - in which case you should be very ashamed you dirty little slut

grinch nóva (@krisnova)Tue, 22 Dec 2020 02:11 GMT

I mean, um, @twitter, you could just quote retweet it and link to the original tweet...you did design the feature.

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🗣 @dionnewarwick

Twitter (@Twitter)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 17:15 GMT

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 21:07 GMT

I think if you broke the law and exposed an entire country to a deadly virus so you could attend your boyfriend's jet-skiing competition you can definitely cool your heels in jail for 4 months, sounds like a great lesson in personal responsibility. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/f…

Laurie Voss (@seldo)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 15:39 GMT

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1341101770844622848

I'll be honest, it was a relief to be using a laptop for anything other than Zoom!

Pascal Dennerly (@pascaldoesgo)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 19:25 GMT

Wow they’re really pulling out all the stops building up to the season finale of the UK. What could they possibly be saving for the last episode? 🥴

Kate is cake. Always has been. (@SBinLondon)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 17:29 GMT

How it started: How it’s going:

Sawyer Hackett (@SawyerHackett)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 15:33 GMT

1) started making it 2) had a breakdown 3) bon appetite ✨

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quote this tweet with your top 3 personal accomplishments of 2020 ✨

Adam J. Kurtz (@adamjk)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 17:40 GMT

Christmas Carol 🎄 (@CarolSaysThings)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 16:54 GMT

Current status: looking wistfully at my computer while I make myself play video games so I don’t burnout 😅

Christmas Carol 🎄 (@CarolSaysThings)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 16:50 GMT

*something* was out there imitating santa claus in early 20th century america and I just want to know how many children it ate

Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 04:59 GMT

I mean, objectively having the door slammed in our faces ten days before we were supposed to do our big “fuck you” flounce after five years of being utter dicks to everyone is hilarious, I just wish I didn’t live here.

Lucy Wainwright (@Whoozley)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 22:42 GMT

Either you get it. Or you don't. 🤣

Lauren Niemann, MSc, MA (@ZoologyGal)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 00:47 GMT

The Expanse No Context (@ExpanseNContext)Mon, 21 Dec 2020 14:29 GMT

The moments on Sesame Street between the Muppets and the kids were rarely done with a script, which meant the performers had to be ready for anything. And Jim Henson was a master 💚🍪

❄️ Muppet History 🎄 (@HistoryMuppet)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 18:57 GMT

Good No Deal Sunday morning to you all, I'm celebrating with the last sirloin I'm likely to see for a few months.

Bodil Stokke, Esq. (@bodil)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 13:16 GMT

your fridge is never truly safe

Rob N Roll (@thegallowboob)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 23:36 GMT

Me, wearing a red-heavy ensemble: hey, do I look ok? @MrAndrew: awww, you look like a poinsettia Me: soooo... gaudy, temperamental, and two-a-penny at the supermarket? 🤨 Andrew (visibly panicked): uh...um... I *like*... poinsettias?

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 23:29 GMT

https://twitter.com/Nigel_Farage/status/1340342881521971206

Wear a mask and stop talking shit.

Chen Weihua （陈卫华） (@chenweihua)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 09:21 GMT

https://twitter.com/EricaJoy/status/1340742921457319936

The ability to have any one person spend a month without a key privilege (class, race, gender, sexuality, etc.) so that they can become more empathetic. This reflects my fear that we won't overcome bias and prejudice without directly accessing the lived experiences of others.

Anjuan (@anjuan)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 20:01 GMT

I still can't get over this tweet

Lily Simpson (@ProfessorGutian)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 07:54 GMT

I don't know much about masters programs but everyone senior I know who works in a technical industry that is traditionally taught in lecture halls (compsci folks, EEs, etc.) warns of this same issue: people coming out of academia are often woefully unprepared for practical work.

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I was just in an Uber with someone that has a cyber security masters that didn’t know what nmap was. like wtf.

Хавиж Наффи 🥕 (@nnwakelam)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 13:46 GMT

Graham Sutherland (Polynomial^DSS) (@gsuberland)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 18:58 GMT

My mom wanted Yeezys. I got her a new dining room set. Show her how it feels to want something and get what you need instead 🤣

KamBamScam 🤑 (@kambamfam_)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 06:05 GMT

Tier 5 is Davina McCall standing outside your house and telling you it's time to nominate someone to leave your bubble.

shane reaction ☘️ (@shane_reaction_)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 23:59 GMT

https://twitter.com/NorwichCityFC/status/1340703512536051717

I would like an explanation how allowing this church to preach at our club is in accordance with promoting acceptance of the LGBT+ community?

David Evans (@_davevans_)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 17:30 GMT

my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.

Harry Mitchell (@HarryIsLate)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 16:51 GMT

Your favorite stars want to get some things off their chest.

The Expanse (@ExpanseOnPrime)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 17:32 GMT

...NSFW gingerbread people because I got the best random book for £4 at Asda this week and I am so entertained by the idea of making the biscuit kama sutra! twitter.com/brunty/status/…

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Silicon baking mats with measurements and size guides on them?! Hell yes! 😍 Baking gingerbread people with @foxshaped right now!

Matt Brunt (@Brunty)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 13:53 GMT

Emma (@foxshaped)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 14:26 GMT

https://twitter.com/christopherhope/status/1340595985597288448

What we need to is end once and for all the 40 year failure that is trickle down economics. We can replace that with Piñata economics instead.

Al (@davison_al)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 11:24 GMT

THE BOOK OF BOBA FETT and #TheMandalorian Season 3 are two separate shows, says a Lucasfilm artist! bit.ly/3atrp9C

Star Wars Stuff (@starwarstuff)Sun, 20 Dec 2020 01:47 GMT

Enormous xylophone in the woods of Kyushu, Japan plays a Bach tune when a wooden ball rolls down each "key." An impressive piece of engineering.

Scott Kerr (@scott_kerr)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 20:53 GMT

To get a software developer's attention, say: "There's got to be a better way to do this"

Carla Notarobot 🤖👩🏻‍💻 (@CodesCarla)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 19:11 GMT

I’ve been to the Tier 3000, not much has changed but we live underwater

ratti hex (@HattiRex)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 20:29 GMT

Only 371 sleeps till Christmas.

Adam Pearson (@Adam_Pearson)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 18:56 GMT

Debugging tips by Emily (SO new camera)

Emily (@EmilyKager)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 20:11 GMT

https://twitter.com/Nayvee6/status/1340340904310296584

Aye that's how it works. It's the Leader of the Opposition's fault that the Prime Minister is a cunt

The Futureheads (@thefutureheads)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 17:00 GMT

Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 20:53 GMT

Santa's on his way to deliver the first load of #TNSecretSanta presents and having a jolly old sing-song in the 'sleigh' 🥳 12 something somethings, 11 something somethings, 10 something somethings, 9 something somethings, 8 something somethings.... FIVE GOOOLD RIIIIINGS 🎶🎶🎶

Tech Nottingham (@technottingham)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 15:37 GMT

Boba: This armor belonged to my father. Bo-Katan: Don't you mean your donor? #TheMandalorian #mandalorianfinale

Justin says Break out the gullotines! (@WolfmanJustin)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 14:17 GMT

To be fair, they did say they wanted to end freedom of movement

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Five-miles lorry queues in Kent as businesses prepare for Christmas and Brexit theguardian.com/politics/2020/…

The Guardian (@guardian)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 13:23 GMT

Luke Exton (@LukeExton)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 15:21 GMT

https://twitter.com/Dixie3Flatline/status/1340124586927525888

I really wanna hang out with you for real

emily freeman (@editingemily)Sat, 19 Dec 2020 02:45 GMT

Mr. Box, I continue to try.

Emily L. Hauser אלה אסתר (@emilylhauser)Fri, 18 Dec 2020 20:51 GMT