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A lady just came up to me and said “Speak English, we are in San Diego.” So I politely responded by asking her “how do I say ‘San Diego’ in English?” The look of bewilderment on her face made it feel like a Friday.

Da(Y)go Brown (@ArtyCurry)Wed, 26 May 2021 17:31 +0000

Why yes, I'm into cis men, and by cis men I mean femboys, and by femboys I mean I give them two months max before they start the girl pills

Xan (@ComicsByXan)Thu, 27 May 2021 04:30 +0000

I felt this twitter.com/ginnyghezzo/st…

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I fantasize about retiring ... to write code

Ginny Ghezzo (@GinnyGhezzo)Wed, 26 May 2021 18:22 +0000

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Thu, 27 May 2021 06:31 +0000

I fantasize about retiring ... to write code

Ginny Ghezzo (@GinnyGhezzo)Wed, 26 May 2021 18:22 +0000

Real talk: when/if I start my own company, we're trying out a 4 day workweek. Why? Because when folks are overworked, they lack the perspective and innovation that a rested person has. I believe we create busywork that fills up time without a decent break.

Sarah Drasner (@sarah_edo)Wed, 26 May 2021 20:56 +0000

It isn’t “crackers “ that men like Cummings and Johnson are in rooms of power, with white women supporting them It is systems of white supremacy working exactly as they are intended to Remember that

Stella (@RisuToInu)Thu, 27 May 2021 05:38 +0000

Elasticsearch relicensing, Freenode implosion, utter lack of FSF accountability: I hope folks are noticing the same pattern I am. Governance is an important factor in risk assessment. How resources are stewarded matters.

Josh Simmons (@joshsimmons)Wed, 26 May 2021 18:48 +0000

I have done it. My profile banner now shows my latest 3 followers! Update every 60 secs. Nope, unfollow and follow again won't work, sorry 😂

Tony Dinh 🎯 (@tdinh_me)Wed, 26 May 2021 15:50 +0000

I sometimes forget that making friends is easy for others and therefore not something they will be particularly invested in.

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Wed, 26 May 2021 09:17 +0000

A Senior Apple Engineer I look up to and respect told me he pair programs every week to work through his problems. Ngl this broke my brain. He's one of the best engineers I know. We're conditioned to think asking for help means you're junior. Time to normalize this.

Novall Swift (@NovallSwift)Wed, 26 May 2021 01:52 +0000

"People bring their kids to Pride!" they also bring them to Comic Con but Slave Leia costumes are different, right?

bletchley punk (@alicegoldfuss)Tue, 25 May 2021 21:28 +0000

if we really want to protect kids from sexuality let's start with straight men who've felt entitled to share their opinions about my body and what they'd like to do with it starting when I was 11

j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster)Tue, 25 May 2021 23:41 +0000

On the advice of my doctor, I'm going to be taking some time away from work for health reasons. Constituents should continue to contact my office as normal - my staff will be there to assist you. My full statement is below.

Nadia Whittome MP (@NadiaWhittomeMP)Tue, 25 May 2021 06:55 +0000

I’m not gonna pretend to know anything about crypto but I do know that all my most unreliable friends whose advice I follow the opposite of are very very into it

Chris Fleming (@chrisfluming)Tue, 25 May 2021 00:22 +0000

I got my first vaccine today! Go science! 🌟💉🥳✌🏼

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Tue, 25 May 2021 20:35 +0000

Have YOU been racist on a night out recently? Don't worry - INR Insurers are here to help. 🥴🙋🏼

Munya Chawawa (@munyachawawa)Tue, 25 May 2021 19:15 +0000

When they ask you to fix the tests

Joe Previte (@jsjoeio)Tue, 25 May 2021 17:52 +0000

writing a self review is the hard to do when you're feeling burnt out

🖤devon🖤 (@devonbl)Tue, 25 May 2021 01:09 +0000

Last night our Gov had the opportunity to generate BILLIONS in tax revenue By supporting a global min tax on mega-rich multinationals THE TORIES VOTED AGAINST IT This is what happens when your Gov is funded by billionaires And you have a PM who won’t pay for his own Deliveroo

Marina Purkiss (@MarinaNigrelli)Tue, 25 May 2021 07:00 +0000

Just had my covid vaccine! 😁🎉 All my thanks to the amazing staff in the #NHS #COVID #COVIDVaccine

David Evans (@_davevans_)Tue, 25 May 2021 10:04 +0000

why don't the "No Kink At Pride" people freak out about tits at mardi gras? what, oh what, could be the difference? well I guess we'll never know

j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster)Tue, 25 May 2021 01:48 +0000

Can we just stop formatting tweets like this please! Don't use call caps for every word, it's hard to read especially when you are Dyslexic. Also this is awful for people who use screen readers. You basically get read out each emoji meaning picking up the sentence super hard

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YALL 👏🏽 CAN 👏🏽 BE 👏🏽 FRIENDS 👏🏽 WITH 👏🏽 PEOPLE 👏🏽 OF 👏🏽 DIFFERENT 👏🏽 POLITICAL 👏🏽 IDEOLOGIES 👏🏽 THAN 👏🏽 YOU 👏🏽

cam is fleeing cali 🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈 (@carsonp619)Sun, 23 May 2021 00:31 +0000

Seren Davies (@ninjanails)Mon, 24 May 2021 14:14 +0000

It’s on. 🦞🦞

Todd Libby 🦞💉💉 (@toddlibby)Sun, 23 May 2021 21:15 +0000

Close de Chanel twitter.com/ottojizzmark/s…

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If Priti Patel released a perfume what would she name it?

Otto Von Jizzmark (@Ottojizzmark)Sat, 22 May 2021 17:52 +0000

#11 (@endzChancellor)Sun, 23 May 2021 21:44 +0000

I cannot fathom having a real world skill that’s not computers

Tierney Cyren (@bitandbang)Mon, 24 May 2021 06:48 +0000

菓製婦は見た

Tatsuya Tanaka 田中達也 (@tanaka_tatsuya)Sat, 22 May 2021 22:00 +0000

most "kink" you see at Pride is, ironically, far less sexualized than the average Superbowl ad or other mainstream media, but because queer sexuality is deemed "other", it's viewed as more sexual and scandalous even when it's not

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https://twitter.com/eevee/status/1396399805648146435

but this is incredibly weird to me because i immediately think of MOST OF WESTERN MEDIA and how it's built around male gaze and the women have to be sufficiently attractive to straight men and then we dress them in as little as possible

eevee (@eevee)Sun, 23 May 2021 09:37 +0000

Aditya Mukerjee, the Otterrific 🦦 🏳️‍🌈 (@chimeracoder)Sun, 23 May 2021 17:30 +0000

Git != GitHub

Ayushi Rawat (@ayushi7rawat)Sat, 22 May 2021 22:19 +0000

Good sex is WHOLESOME AF. Healthy and consensual sexual relationships- include kink- is WHOLESOME AF Love, regardless of gender, is WHOLESOME AF Orgasms are not only self care, but WHOLESOME AF. Sex is an important part of humanity, stop acting like it’s shameful

Katelyn Bowden (@medus4_cdc)Sun, 23 May 2021 16:24 +0000

Last weekend, I won Pan Am championships and didn’t even crack a smile. Today, I started crying and had to walk away because I couldn’t get a cake out of pan. I don’t have anything clever to say, just want y’all to know that anyone can struggle with anything.

Tim Banks is a melanated Bacchus (@elchefe)Sun, 23 May 2021 16:09 +0000

https://twitter.com/cal_gif/status/1396491461726703616

boy if I had a nickel for every time someone wrote down my name

you can call me al (@bbycoldbrew)Sun, 23 May 2021 15:43 +0000

when you have to work up the courage to make a phone call

☣️eff word☣️ (@DullVivid)Sat, 22 May 2021 06:16 +0000

Why are we the worst country

Sophie Koonin (@type__error)Sat, 22 May 2021 22:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/type__error/status/1396225540860821504

In Eurovision or just like... generally

Kate is cake. Always has been. (@SBinLondon)Sun, 23 May 2021 12:33 +0000

Thank you for the thousands of well wishes and congratulations yesterday for me and @Jaimi_Shrive We had an amazing time, an absolutely perfect day ❤️ We have a million pics to work through from an EPIC party too 🥳

Dr. Jessica Taylor (@DrJessTaylor)Sun, 23 May 2021 13:01 +0000

In general, staying calm during an incident is a superpower. It’s like the difference between how you code normally and how you code during an interview. It’s also a skill that you can learn over time. Even if you’re an anxious person, you can get better at it.

Lorin Hochstein (@norootcause)Sat, 22 May 2021 22:21 +0000

if salesforce has a chief availability officer do they also have a chief consistency officer and a chief partition tolerance officer or do they only have two

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sat, 22 May 2021 21:43 +0000

> removing bathing suit in hot tub “Hey babe, nobody’s coming over right?” Wife: “I don’t know somebody might” “Well if they do, they’ll be calling me sir from now on” Wife: “sir baby dick” THE APPRENTICE HAS BECOME THE MASTER

SQLite Boi Summer (@ken_wheeler)Sat, 22 May 2021 20:41 +0000

https://twitter.com/annamv10/status/1395947649635815424

A friend took a photo of me at Folsom Street Fair a couple years ago, posted to IG, it somehow went viral, and now it’s a meme! (Comes up about monthly, in various languages, across the internet.) A fun “fun fact”!

Amruta Godbole (@dj_roots)Sat, 22 May 2021 04:01 +0000

I’m in this photo and I don’t like it. Jk. I mean that is actually me in the photo. But I like it every time.

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olivia rodrigo with her new fans

✨ Mikey Almeida ✨ (@mikey_almeida)Fri, 21 May 2021 20:43 +0000

Amruta Godbole (@dj_roots)Sat, 22 May 2021 01:39 +0000

https://twitter.com/__femb0t/status/1395470302985932801

women out there appropriating femboy culture, smh :/

⁅Gateway of last resort⁆ (@Wxcafe)Fri, 21 May 2021 03:28 +0000

fembot (@__femb0t)Thu, 20 May 2021 20:01 +0000

kim  (@kaydacode)Fri, 21 May 2021 15:43 +0000

#tbt to the greatest page I ever received in residency

Adam Ludvigson (@adamlud)Fri, 21 May 2021 02:19 +0000

This is your regular reminder that as a person of colour, it's NOT your job to do all the extra labour to educate white folks.

Shubheksha ✨ (@ScribblingOn)Sat, 22 May 2021 13:57 +0000

every weekend, I say to myself "I will finish my personal website and deploy it" every weekend, I lay on the couch doing nothing instead today, my domain auto-renewed

Kat Cosgrove (@Dixie3Flatline)Sat, 22 May 2021 13:59 +0000

Hey Ya by Outkast

Raven the Science Maven (@ravenscimaven)Sat, 22 May 2021 12:48 +0000