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https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

Some absolute bangers of anecdotes in the replies here. Well done everyone. We’re all fucking idiots.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:36 GMT

https://twitter.com/HabitaresLtd/status/1506674968502939656

On the bus (London) to work. It was a rainy day so I had a wet umbrella at my feet. At my stop I went to pick it up but the handle somehow hooked under the trouser leg of the man next to me. The more I fumbled to retrieve it the more it disappeared further and further up his leg.

Rebecca Jules (@RebeccaJJules)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 18:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

That’s nothing. Wife and I met her friend for lunch one day- I bent over to give her friend’s baby a peck on the cheek, didn’t see she was breastfeeding until it was too late. It wasn’t her baby I kissed.

Conor O’Toole (@kippaxireland)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:54 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506656020151644160

I pulled away so fast. ‘Oh sorry I thought uh-‘ v clearly he doesn’t speak English. Is now just locked into this look of horror. This mad woman. Tried to eat his chicken. What if he had to dump his chicken? What if he worried it was now contaminated?

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:37 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

Was once followed by an oddball in the supermarket. Was frightened so started to speed up. So did he. Ended up with him literally chasing me up and down each and every aisle. Eventually, he caught up. And then he asked if he could have his trolley back. 😩

Fiona Barton (@fionabarton)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:30 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506656717337206790

There’s an allegory here. About…greed or something. I didn’t need food. I’d had a burrito. And an ice cream. But I saw this guy leaning against a shop window. And this possessive, animalistic entitlement washed over me. I deserved a free sample.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

My son took his jacket off on the escalator in the underground only for his hand to become trapped in the mouth of the girl behind him. As he removed the hand, she said, “sorry”. British politeness at its most extreme there.

Habitares (@HabitaresLtd)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:51 GMT

The worst thing just happened. I won’t recover. I just reached into a box of free samples outside a chicken restaurant. Only it wasn’t free samples. It was a man. Holding a box of chicken. His chicken. I tried to steal this man’s chicken.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:35 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

I want to fucking die

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:36 GMT

Seems as appropriate as ever

🇺🇦 Anthony, of course 💉💉💉 (@ofcAnthony)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 08:14 GMT

“Eating sugar will only make you feel better for a few minutes!” yeah as opposed to not eating sugar, which will make you feel better for zero minutes

Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_)Wed, 16 Mar 2022 20:39 GMT

Absolutely cannot believe that I spent this much time and money making my Good TV look like my Bad TV. (This uses a hardware-accelerated, 14-pass video shader, rendered at 4Kp60 resolution.)

Emily 🌦 (@emilyst)Sat, 12 Mar 2022 00:30 GMT

When I was in Primary school, they asked to draw our family. I didn't include my dad because he left us a few years earlier. I got shouted and and given a punishment. School tries to teach that a good 'Christian' family with tradwife is the only way.

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my 5-year-old niece was given this song to sing for Mothers’ Day at her CofE primary school… 🤢

Sophie Hill (@sophie_e_hill)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 14:36 GMT

Tane Piper (@tanepiper)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 07:18 GMT

my 5-year-old niece was given this song to sing for Mothers’ Day at her CofE primary school… 🤢

Sophie Hill (@sophie_e_hill)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 14:36 GMT

Brain just gave me a massive meta sign I have ADHD: I had an anxious meltdown about some basic tasks. So rather than doing the basic tasks I write down ways of helping myself in the future to do the basic task with less anxiety. Then I tweet about it rather than doing the task.

Tess Cooper 🏳️‍🌈 (@tessacooper5)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 07:32 GMT

Quinn the foster pup is still looking for her forever home. She is so smooshy 🥰 doggoneseattle.org/adoptable-dogs/

Ned Pyle (@NerdPyle)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:34 GMT

https://twitter.com/verge/status/1506723135990767630

Rip in peace man, even if you pronounced your own invention wrong.

little gay pufferfish 🐡 (@fluffykittencat)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:59 GMT

https://twitter.com/verge/status/1506723135990767630

John but not forgotten

Manticlops (@manticlops)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:12 GMT

jodspeed

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Stephen Wilhite, creator of the GIF, has died theverge.com/2022/3/23/2299…

The Verge (@verge)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:02 GMT

Vranac Srdjan (@vranac)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:21 GMT

Delivery guy tried to tell me corona was gone and that I don’t need to wear a mask so I told him there were 30,000 new cases yesterday. He asked if I meant in China, and I said no, here in the Netherlands, but then when he left I checked and I was wrong.

Hugh Rawlinson (he/him) (@hughrawlinson)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:48 GMT

https://twitter.com/hughrawlinson/status/1506689431922786309

I used the number from the weekend, which was out of date, it was 42,000 new cases yesterday. The false impression that everything’s fine now is making me feel like I’m insane.

Hugh Rawlinson (he/him) (@hughrawlinson)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:48 GMT

Management: “We need a rigorous process for managing and approving pay rises, occurring once per year.” Employees: *Apply for a new jobs because it’s quicker and easier than following the pay rise process.* Management: “Why is our churn rate so high!?”

🇺🇦 Tom Geraghty (@tom_geraghty)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:34 GMT

https://twitter.com/_msw_/status/1506459050594082820

I have noticed what seems like an almost generational divide in people who contribute to open source. Those who did open source before 2015, and those who think GitHub = OpenSource. 🙃

Aeva ✈ ShmooCon! ✨ (@aevavoom)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 14:58 GMT

When Russia sanctioned Canada, it barred leaders from all major federal parties, including conservative leaders. But when Russia sanctioned the U.S., it barred Democratic leaders only. It didn’t name a single GOP leader. The signal couldn’t be clearer.

George Takei (@GeorgeTakei)Wed, 16 Mar 2022 03:10 GMT

https://twitter.com/lingerie_addict/status/1506654471325208590

Like…if the prospect of having your nastiness resurfaced to more people than anticipated terrifies you, perhaps the solution is to be less nasty to strangers.

Cora Harrington (@lingerie_addict)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:31 GMT

I firmly believe that if you show up in someone’s mentions talking shit and being rude, if they QRT you, you can’t run and cry. You knew how many followers they had before you showed up.

Cora Harrington (@lingerie_addict)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:29 GMT

gay men stop feeling entitled to touch women's bodies without consent just because you aren't sexually attracted to women doesn't mean you aren't sexually assaulting me Thaaaanks💕

High King Pilnut (@Pilnok)Fri, 24 Sep 2021 18:16 +0000

I cant hear you, sorry

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Muscles don’t belong on women

Eerie Pierce💙💛💙💛🎀🛠🇺🇸🇷🇺🌐🌐🌹🥀🧦☀️ (@Sp00kyPunish)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 01:51 GMT

🦇Lichlings (@Lichlings)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:22 GMT

Think I've managed to track down the versions of libraries used in AWS Lambda on JDK11 - I've updated my previous post about it with more details, and am hoping to get confirmation from AWS about it!

https://twitter.com/ThinkHero/status/1506124547900076035

The Expanse is possibly the best series of all time IMO. Stick with the first season which loses some people. By the fifth season, your head will explode. 🤯

Jill 47 🖖🚀 (@jillsville7)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 13:41 GMT

Yesterday I finally watched the last episode of The Expanse.

◀︎Valerio Schiti▶︎ (@ValerioSchiti)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 09:36 GMT

https://twitter.com/ThinkHero/status/1506124547900076035

The Expanse is possibly the best series of all time IMO. Stick with the first season which loses some people. By the fifth season, your head will explode. 🤯

Jill 47 🖖🚀 (@jillsville7)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 13:41 GMT

Why does it seem like white tech bros are always arguing for a culture where one says/does whatever they like and there are no consequences, no matter how it affects others? Self-censoring isn't always a bad thing, especially if your opinion/take is uninformed and or harmful.

twitter.com/paulg/status/1…

Tim Banks stands 5 feet, 8 inches (@elchefe)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 16:52 GMT

i got added to one of my teams projects (as designer!) and whenever that happens i love to say ‘hi! this is laura. some of you might already know me’ even though i know everybody knows me. its a little thing i do to add fun and whimsy

laura (@freezydorito)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 16:50 GMT

https://twitter.com/paulg/status/1506217635947720712

name someone who you think has been cancelled ?

anarki (@anarki)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 10:36 GMT

What to focus on during a code review? Don't waste your time with automatable formalities like code style. Rather spend your review budget on those aspects which will be hard/expensive to change later on. The "Code Review Pyramid" provides some guidance on what to look for.

Gunnar Morling 🌍 (@gunnarmorling)Wed, 09 Mar 2022 19:44 GMT

Really big fan of Okta's "no we totally knew we got rooted in January, it was nbd we took care of it ASAP and they didn't exploit it at all, that's why we violated breach disclosure best practices (and maybe laws?) and didn't tell our users" strategy

protected concerted activity enthusiast (@BlueSpaceCanary)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 15:35 GMT

https://twitter.com/Gynesys/status/1506250846404857857

Website and having your own email list >>>>>

Street 🇭🇹 (@streetgrind)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 12:49 GMT

Looks like Instagram is rolling out their own subscription model. I miss blogs. There are way too many middlemen now with their hands in our pockets, even though it's easier than ever to create your own website.

Gynesha Keyz 👑 (@Gynesys)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 12:46 GMT

"sit on my face"

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Sexpert shares four words people love to hear during sex dailystar.co.uk/love-sex/sexpe…

Daily Star (@dailystar)Tue, 22 Jun 2021 14:16 +0000

Violet Valentine (@slutpilled)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 13:11 GMT

https://twitter.com/dailystar/status/1407341604172484610

“Selina, this is canon.”

J🇮🇹🇺🇸 (@TheMigraineShow)Tue, 22 Jun 2021 18:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/shukran___/status/1505625725935755275

When they just start poppin up 😬

Tee (@TeeOsoLovely)Mon, 21 Mar 2022 05:42 GMT

https://twitter.com/shukran___/status/1505625725935755275

if that city is 20km across, the stride length is about 10km. His foot is moving mach 30. His foot's the size of an apartment building. Each step hits with 5MT of TNT equivalent. I'm only 8km in the air so, my plane crashes from the shockwave and i die.

Skrrt Vonnegut.eth (@Skrrt__Vonnegut)Mon, 21 Mar 2022 14:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/ScreemAtOwnAss/status/1506089138944036864

I was about to leave a slightly irritated comment that the original artist didn't get a lot of the attention but after learning that fact, I'm good lol

Enigma (@EnigMajicc)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 02:47 GMT

I'm researching Meta's engineering culture in-depth. An interesting principle at Meta: compensation and career progression are separate. You can make more when not promoted, than those who are. (If you work/worked at FB/Meta and are interested in reviewing what I have, DM me).

Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Tue, 22 Mar 2022 13:25 GMT