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Vladimir Putin defending JK Rowling is like that moment in your D&D game when you realize all of the bad guys have actually been working together from the beginning.

Erin, Trail Mom (@ErinInTheMorn)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 14:28 GMT

"I want to be on your lap, actually" (sound up for purrs)

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 21:51 GMT

https://twitter.com/JamieTanna/status/1507358229667450884

looking forward to the pictures. Also trying to figure out if we can call it a support dog @anna_hax so we can smuggle to office sometime

Shaun (@sdh100Shaun)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 19:10 GMT

AWS Lambdas are now configurable up to: 10GB deployment size 10GB RAM (6vCPU) 10GB /tmp 15 minute runtime So your most expensive per-invocation lambda cost ends up: ~$0.13 On Fargate, nonspot, (4vCPU) that same task: ~$0.07 Worth it? Totally depends on the workload.

Randall Hunt (@jrhunt)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:39 GMT

ICYMI, a few days back was the start of a new season in the northern hemisphere called "is it allergies or COVID?"

msw (@_msw_)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 15:47 GMT

CSS co-designer here. !important was added for one reason only: laws in the US that require certain text to be in a given font-size. !important stops the cascade from changing it. Anything else is probably misuse, and a sign you may not understand the cascade properly.

Steven Pemberton (@stevenpemberton)Mon, 21 Mar 2022 09:30 GMT

Violet Valentine (@slutpilled)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 15:48 GMT

on twitter at work every day like

eli is feeling '22 (@elibelly)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 15:57 GMT

findom is microdosing human sacrifice every dollar my subs earn was traded for some small amount of their time on this earth and when they spend it on me they're burning their lives on my altar

j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 16:13 GMT

https://twitter.com/ohadelaide/status/1483798081317527561

Another good affirmation I've picked up lately is "I know who I am."

Adelaide Gardner (@ohadelaide)Wed, 19 Jan 2022 13:50 GMT

It's so strange to me how some women go absolutely feral when they find their man follows women on social media. 💀 Do you expect him to cover his eyes when he walks outside and sees a woman too?

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WHY DOES HE FOLLOW SO MANY GIRLS ??? 😭😭

alo🫀 (@alondraxxc)Mon, 21 Mar 2022 22:06 GMT

🔴 Lichlings (LIVE) (@Lichlings)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:40 GMT

let’s keep this civil yall 💀

priya patel (@puhreeyah)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 22:50 GMT

love to be waiting to get PCR tested next to a lady hacking a lung up with her mask below her nose

rachel (@ohhoe)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 16:35 GMT

https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/1507333553448800309

never not relevant

peter 🐇🐇 (@peterdroberts)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 13:23 GMT

Let’s face it, the spring term is grim. But then you are rewarded for all the dark mornings and nights with this at the end. Magnificent @MerchantTaylors

Jonny Taylor (@jonnyt19w)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:38 GMT

https://twitter.com/WholeMarsBlog/status/1507133397440688144

I see it's time once again to bring this out.

Chris Martin (@CMSLOPOrion)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 03:27 GMT

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1507039645527330818

hOwCaN yOu sAy tHiS aBouT tHe mAn wHo iNvEnTed sPaCe iTseLf?!? The tech bro energy on this comments thread is like when kids get upset because they’re fighting about whose dad would lose in a fight but the clear answer is “all of them”

New name: “Stuns w/ample underboob in TINY bikini” (@DianaBeeDashBee)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:53 GMT

https://twitter.com/DkFingerpaint/status/1507067188888621056

He literally just buys companies and bothers the real engineers with pointless gimmicks. The only think he brought to the automotive industry was edgy viral marketing. Oh and proprietary charge ports. Woo hoo!

Christopher Miller (@ChrisMillerArt)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 04:31 GMT

Happy Friday from Panko and his flower. imgur.com/a/NdyDT31

Bodil, all her apes gone (@bodil)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 12:05 GMT

The lesson I consistently learn from software projects (maybe all projects tbh) is that the first 80% of the project takes 20% of the time and the last 20% takes 80% of the time. And we never internalise this 😅

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 12:07 GMT

Last year I switched jobs, despite being burnt out and tired all the time 😴 I wrote a little post about what I found helpful during that process, in case it helps someone else 😌 carol.gg/blog/looking-f…

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 09:22 GMT

https://twitter.com/sarah_edo/status/1507085904199880704

No, it’s not totally necessary at all. It’s just not. Signed, a principal engineer who doesn’t like public speaking.

Kelly Ellis 💉💉💉 (@justkelly_ok)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 12:21 GMT

https://twitter.com/joe_sayegh/status/1507111867252101122

Being an excellent communicator and public speaking are not the same thing.

Kelly Ellis 💉💉💉 (@justkelly_ok)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 12:22 GMT

LOL. Oh no the Linux source code was leaked 😡😭 reddit.com/r/linuxmasterr…

nixCraft (@nixcraft)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 08:31 GMT

https://twitter.com/voxpelli/status/1507254598536417313

+ on top of those four distinct parts: Authoring should have a standardized server API (Micropub) to enable interchangeable clients Consumption should have a standardized server API (Microsub) to enable interchangeable readers Comments should be self-hosted through Webmention

Pelle Wessman (@voxpelli)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 07:14 GMT

Or rather the social media silos should be seen as its four distinct parts: - Content hosting - Content authoring - Content consumption - Content aggregation By adapting an @indiewebcamp approach one can enable actual plurality that a simple algorithm choice can’t.

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The choice of which algorithm to use (or not) should be open to everyone twitter.com/elonmusk/statu…

jack⚡️ (@jack)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 00:04 GMT

Pelle Wessman (@voxpelli)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 07:14 GMT

https://twitter.com/StarmanSweg/status/1506719125288198157

this was so peak

𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕄𝔸ℕ🍃 (@StarmanSweg)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 19:48 GMT

it’s so weird knowing the people that animated this shit were secretly stealing their co-workers’ breast milk

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https://twitter.com/StarmanSweg/status/1506719125288198157

this was so peak

𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕄𝔸ℕ🍃 (@StarmanSweg)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 19:48 GMT

nat (@kishikybe)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 20:22 GMT

maybe they are not that impossible if they have done 8 of them already

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Filming is officially underway on 'Mission: Impossible 8' 🎬 (via @THR | bit.ly/3JQlWbq)

Fandom (@getFANDOM)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 18:58 GMT

laura (@freezydorito)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 18:59 GMT

https://twitter.com/freezydorito/status/1507069489233502215

please imagine this as a minion meme on facebook.com thats how i imagine it thats how it should live in your minds

laura (@freezydorito)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 19:07 GMT

Today our team went through @abdulajet's Dev sticker collection, and I found an Octocat with @jna_sh's face on it. I was not allowed to keep it, so I can now officially tell all of #devrel that my train fare to London was wasted.

James Seconde (@SecondeJ)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 19:09 GMT

So here's why I bought a receipt printer: Every time one of my GitHub repos gets a new issue, I now get a physical ticket printed out on my desk 🪄

Andrew Schmelyun (@aschmelyun)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 11:44 GMT

Lina (@d0rkph0enix)Sun, 20 Mar 2022 22:55 GMT

https://twitter.com/ontoneio/status/1506781478004269070

Pay me. I'm sorry, I'm busy

Emelia 👸🏻 • 💙💛 (@ThisIsMissEm)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 01:00 GMT

It was MySQL, with the resource contention, in the database cluster

had a v intense therapy session about my emotions, my sense of identity and worth to others, pls send hugs and good vibes

maisie 💖 (@hiMaisie)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 14:58 GMT

want it all

poorly drawn lines (@PDLComics)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 15:00 GMT

The list of APIs in Government. Contribute to co-cddo/api-catalogue development by creating an account on GitHub.

big pet peeve: the use of "googling" to mean "searching" google is not the only search engine nor should searching on the web be synonymous with google

Abeba Birhane (@Abebab)Thu, 24 Mar 2022 11:31 GMT

TLDR; heroku labs:enable build-in-app-dir -a <APP_NAME> Now enjoy your Rails app booting...

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

Some absolute bangers of anecdotes in the replies here. Well done everyone. We’re all fucking idiots.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:36 GMT

https://twitter.com/HabitaresLtd/status/1506674968502939656

On the bus (London) to work. It was a rainy day so I had a wet umbrella at my feet. At my stop I went to pick it up but the handle somehow hooked under the trouser leg of the man next to me. The more I fumbled to retrieve it the more it disappeared further and further up his leg.

Rebecca Jules (@RebeccaJJules)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 18:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

That’s nothing. Wife and I met her friend for lunch one day- I bent over to give her friend’s baby a peck on the cheek, didn’t see she was breastfeeding until it was too late. It wasn’t her baby I kissed.

Conor O’Toole (@kippaxireland)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 21:54 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506656020151644160

I pulled away so fast. ‘Oh sorry I thought uh-‘ v clearly he doesn’t speak English. Is now just locked into this look of horror. This mad woman. Tried to eat his chicken. What if he had to dump his chicken? What if he worried it was now contaminated?

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:37 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

Was once followed by an oddball in the supermarket. Was frightened so started to speed up. So did he. Ended up with him literally chasing me up and down each and every aisle. Eventually, he caught up. And then he asked if he could have his trolley back. 😩

Fiona Barton (@fionabarton)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 17:30 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506656717337206790

There’s an allegory here. About…greed or something. I didn’t need food. I’d had a burrito. And an ice cream. But I saw this guy leaning against a shop window. And this possessive, animalistic entitlement washed over me. I deserved a free sample.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/Sonic_Screwup/status/1506655987167551497

My son took his jacket off on the escalator in the underground only for his hand to become trapped in the mouth of the girl behind him. As he removed the hand, she said, “sorry”. British politeness at its most extreme there.

Habitares (@HabitaresLtd)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 16:51 GMT

The worst thing just happened. I won’t recover. I just reached into a box of free samples outside a chicken restaurant. Only it wasn’t free samples. It was a man. Holding a box of chicken. His chicken. I tried to steal this man’s chicken.

Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup)Wed, 23 Mar 2022 15:35 GMT