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I'm still thinking about how this confirms that the Oscars have an intensive joke approval process, that was actively used to veto jokes in poor taste, and yet the committee decided "a joke making fun of a Black woman's auto-immune disease" was okay

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Amy Schumer reveals one Oscars joke she wasn’t allowed to say — “Don’t Look Up is the name of a movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun” “I wasn’t allowed to say any of that, but you can just come up & [slap] someone” (via: variety.com/2022/film/news…)

DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 17:16 +0000

emilia ✨ (@lazerwalker)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 18:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/_Iyalei/status/1511071240089391107

Pffff backend developers have it so easy. They get to deploy their stuff to a single runtime that *they* control? Adorable.

Steven 🏳️‍🌈 (@stevendotjs)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 18:40 +0000

I am seeing a trend to make frontend Dev work a "female" discipline while the "serious programming" stuff like backend and embedded as "masculine" and I would like to say fuck that very much 🤡

Anya🏳️‍🌈✨ (@_Iyalei)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 20:00 +0000

https://twitter.com/Pilnok/status/1511355842704158725

God it would suck if people QRTd that with pics I'd hate it so much Absolutely do not do that

name cannot be blank (@Pilnok)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 18:51 +0000

May your thighs be thicc and ass fat 🙏🏻

name cannot be blank (@Pilnok)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 14:51 +0000

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May your thighs be thicc and ass fat 🙏🏻

name cannot be blank (@Pilnok)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 14:51 +0000

patrick fahey™ (@patrick_fahey)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 18:55 +0000

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Olivia (@olliegrace)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 13:21 +0000

Google has just released in beta the second generation of Google Cloud Functions. For those who are...

was looking for a blahaj online and this is what it said people most commonly buy it with

keffals (@keffals)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 18:18 +0000

https://twitter.com/keffals/status/1511407930914099206

uk site's just REAL blunt about it.

᚛ᚔᚅᚔᚌᚓᚅᚐ᚜ (@daethtrap)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 18:39 +0000

Spreading the word of our upcoming course on-campus at @TrentUni last week was great fun! As alumni, witnessing the excitement in students to try their hand at coding was a special moment 💙 😉 You can sign up, too: projectfunction.io/courses/wdb220…

ProjectFunction (@projectfunction)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 17:12 +0000

out of context brooklyn nine nine (@nocontxt99)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 19:09 +0000

Since Gen X is trending again, let me remind you of this epic thread I did last year

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https://twitter.com/thejournalista/status/1371544935640363011

A little tutorial on Gen X: We are the first generation to have existed in both the analog and digital world

first of all, bitch, ... (@thejournalista)Tue, 16 Mar 2021 01:15 GMT

first of all, bitch, ... (@thejournalista)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 17:08 +0000

https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/1511379706163052544

If a hetero couple can talk at an -age appropriate level- about coincidental or related experiences with their spouse or partner, a homosexual should be allowed to as well. Equality.

civ (@Civ2022)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 16:39 +0000

On this 4/04 day, pour one out for sites & permalinks lost this past year like: * Google App Maker (site not found) * Yahoo Groups (posts & permalinks gone, subdomain redirects) More 404 Not Found: …

I could kill yoda with a hunting rifle

Will Sennett (@Senn_Spud)Fri, 28 Jan 2022 18:31 GMT

https://twitter.com/halomancer1/status/1511243788210958337

Erik :: they/them (@thatcardsharp)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 08:18 +0000

i rate superpowers in fiction by how easily they could be defeated by a random hillbilly with a shotgun. if the hillbilly wins, the power sucks.

jenny_tightpants_ (@halomancer1)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 07:26 +0000

https://twitter.com/paraga/status/1511320953598357505

Musk stans really in this thread saying "it's okay if a person with more wealth than any of us could ever attain can just buy control of an international communications platform and change it according to his whim, so long as it's the one *WE* support."

VƎX, Whomst Transed The Gender (@vexwerewolf)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 14:17 +0000

Just want to point out that hustle culture relies on the idea that you have another person who can pick up the slack in your daily life. Whether that’s through a relationship or a transaction.

Laurie (@laurieontech)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 13:19 +0000

This document exists to lay out some general principles of running a small social network site that have worked for me. These principles are related to community building more than they are related to specific technologies.

The Rusty Bever

kam 🌙 (@lunarkam)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 01:49 +0000

https://twitter.com/ThisIsMissEm/status/1511339352948883472

Only scheme that that works with is if there's a mandatory minimum.

Daniël Franke 🏳️‍🌈 (@ainmosni@social.tchncs.de) (@ainmosni)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 13:46 +0000

Know your Menus.

Kris (@isotopp)Thu, 11 Feb 2021 16:03 GMT

Folks, we have an expanded COVID-19 symptoms list now: nhs.uk/conditions/cor… TL;DR: "feeling under the weather" is a symptom, and choosing to come into the office while feeling that way makes you a dick, not a trooper.

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I lasted two years but here we are because a colleague came to work while feeling ‘under the weather’.

Alexandra D-S (she/her) (@iotwatch)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 09:38 +0000

Audree Fletcher (@avfletcher)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 12:46 +0000

I lasted two years but here we are because a colleague came to work while feeling ‘under the weather’.

Alexandra D-S (she/her) (@iotwatch)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 09:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/Ocramius/status/1511281742220599296

"Resolving comments because I was told do" What: Resolving comments Why: Because I was told to Done.

Matt Brunt (@Brunty)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 09:57 +0000

Gotta admire the chutzpah of a conference talk attendee who passes gas, loudly I might add, during the talk without batting an eye

Jeremy, The Patronizing Saint of DevOps 🇺🇲🇺🇦 (@IAmJerdog)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 09:58 +0000

https://twitter.com/IAmJerdog/status/1511282109238939654

we haven't seen their like in a long time

Joe (@jna_sh)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 09:59 +0000

Worst commit messages, IMO: "resolving comments", "addressing feedback", "fixing up" EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DID AND WHY!

🇺🇦 (@Ocramius)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 09:57 +0000

🧠 Reminder that "beefstew" is not a good password. It is not Str0g4|\|off

Chris Heilmann (@codepo8)Tue, 05 Apr 2022 08:57 +0000

Some guy interviewing me just called me a junior developer based on my skills and told me "software is not for me" while smirking. How is your Monday going?

Anna (@annarages)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 19:23 +0000

Coke switched to plastic bottles not because consumers wanted it ( we all used to take bottles back to the shops lol) but because they figured that disposable plastic was cheaper than maintaining the bottle collection system

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The world is not addicted to plastic. People don't buy products in plastic packages because they just can't get enough plastic, they buy them because there's no other choice. Corporations are addicted to plastic, and governments are addicted to not regulating corporations.

twitter.com/globalnews/sta…

Mary Gillis (@living_marble)Thu, 31 Mar 2022 14:59 +0000

mumbi (@pasrealiste)Fri, 01 Apr 2022 17:55 +0000

The world is not addicted to plastic. People don't buy products in plastic packages because they just can't get enough plastic, they buy them because there's no other choice. Corporations are addicted to plastic, and governments are addicted to not regulating corporations.

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The world is addicted to plastic. To address the problem, researchers are turning to some unlikely substances: the roots of mushrooms, and byproducts from wheat and lentil production, to create bioplastics. Read more: globalnews.ca/news/8707787/h…

Globalnews.ca (@globalnews)Wed, 30 Mar 2022 17:34 +0000

Mary Gillis (@living_marble)Thu, 31 Mar 2022 14:59 +0000

Just in case there's anyone else out there who hasn't seen this work of genius. Keep an eye on that counter in the bottom right as you scroll down. web3isgoinggreat.com

Brandur (@brandur)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 20:28 +0000

i don't really like the word 'TERF' because it implies that these people are still somehow feminists at all

Violet Valentine (@slutpilled)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 18:44 +0000

Convert go test output to junit xml. Contribute to jstemmer/go-junit-report development by creating an account on GitHub.

LOL. Louis CK WON A GRAMMY TONIGHT. And everyone who was so loud about Will smith, so immediately, last weekend is suddenly giving us 🦗🦗🦗🦗. 👀

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I’m actually too disgusted to even talk about it anymore. I’m done. But the next time a white person slaps someone or more… We will *All* be watching how all of you react and for how long.

Jameela Jamil 🌈 (@jameelajamil)Sat, 02 Apr 2022 05:42 +0000

Jameela Jamil 🌈 (@jameelajamil)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 18:17 +0000

Writing a conference talk for the first time in... forever. It'll be all about how you can improve the technical interview process at your company and give every candidate a great experience. It'll be my first talk since having a baby! And since moving to Stockholm in 2020 💁‍♀️

Emma Bostian (@EmmaBostian)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 14:34 +0000

My friend got a kitten two weeks ago and he told my toddler about it and for two weeks Es been saying “Meet Rocky? Tiny cat”. We went to see Rocky today and he carried a treat in his hand the whole car ride there saying, “Rocky will love this” and guess what Rocky DID.

Lucy Huber (@clhubes)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 01:11 +0000

Smoke sesh at the playstation jacuzzi

lucy (@LUCYBackstreet)Sat, 02 Apr 2022 22:44 +0000

We saw a tweet recently that said ‘starting a job feels like you’re a new character on the ninth season of a tv show.’ If you’ve ever related to this, you’re not the only one! Starting a new job can bring up all sorts of feelings; excitement, doubt, joy, and fear to name a few.

Making Monzo (@MakingMonzo)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 14:54 +0000

Companies- Why can’t we find anyone to hire? Their hiring process-

Adam Karpiak (@Adam_Karpiak)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 14:48 +0000

Will Smith has already received more consequences to his actions than Kyle Rittenhouse has.

✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼 Dr. Woke ذذفة الثلج (@SnowflakeWoke)Sun, 03 Apr 2022 00:38 +0000

are we living through traumatic event after traumatic event or are we just the first generation with worldwide communication and social media and life has actually always been this fucking horrific?

dove 🕊 (@lovedoveclarke)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 04:09 +0000

Telling me that the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for ally is one of the quickest ways to let me know that you aren't one.

Emma 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈♿ (@theEmmagination)Sat, 02 Apr 2022 20:43 +0000

If you don’t get good vibes from watching this I feel really earnestly sorry for you twitter.com/offtheraiis/st…

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Dude what is it with this trend? Trying to get women?

ᴡᴇϟ (@offtheraiIs)Sat, 02 Apr 2022 19:57 +0000

isi baehr-breen (its pronounced ‘izzy’) (@isaiah_bb)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 14:06 +0000

the real winner of april fools day

PCSpecialist (@PCSpecialist)Mon, 04 Apr 2022 11:09 +0000