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this guy is the reason everybody gets spam calls

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Y'all remember when this nigga sent the internet into a frenzy then dissapeared 😭

OUFZ | Dan 🐢 (@DNCHI77)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 04:53 +0000

self diagnosed Havana Syndrome (@MenshevikM)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 14:41 +0000

One of my friends wrote in my yearbook "Tyler you are much too school for cool" and I've never recovered

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the trick was not to be cool to begin with most people don't go around writing "stay nerdy" in yearbooks, but they wouldn't have been disappointed if they had!

twitter.com/Mr_DrEsquire/s…

Molly White (@molly0xFFF)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 15:14 +0000

Tyler Morley (@tylerpmorley)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 15:30 +0000

https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1512445042144776192

Yes and it's absolutely the fault of papers like the Guardian who have been uncritically posting transphobic hate for years

Katy Montgomerie 🦖🦕 (@KatyMontgomerie)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 16:09 +0000

https://twitter.com/caraesten/status/1512816748398977026

why are all the trans people so sad, asks the publication who regularly publishes virulent hatred directed at trans people

Cara (@caraesten)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 15:38 +0000

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Trans people’s mental health is at crisis point in UK, warn experts theguardian.com/world/2022/apr…

The Guardian (@guardian)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 14:59 +0000

Cara (@caraesten)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 15:36 +0000

https://twitter.com/eevee/status/1512817566598586368

instead i will be starting "keep your god damn children indoors until they're 25 so the rest of society doesn't have to bend over backwards to cater to them and also so they can't be weaponized against the mere existence of queers" discourse

eevee (@eevee)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 15:47 +0000

you're not going to trick me into participating in "kink at pride" discourse THIS year, satan

eevee (@eevee)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 15:39 +0000

tbh I almost respect the transparency because this is exactly what a lot of terfs believe, trans women are almost always the primary target. they just won’t say it because they know it’s fucking ridiculous and hypocritical twitter.com/lilysimpson131…

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'Political philosopher' is doing a lot of work here

Lily Simpson (@LilySimpson1312)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 00:23 +0000

faye (@fayemikah)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 10:33 +0000

https://twitter.com/meowmeowmeuw/status/1512515468392865796

It's like tree rings, basically.

🏳️‍🌈 (@Guttapunks)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 19:41 +0000

you can tell how long someone has been on the internet if that video of that bowling ball having sex with a bowling pin is shocking to them or not

juniper (@meowmeowmeuw)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 19:39 +0000

float i,s,e;for(vec3 p,q,d=vec3((FC.xy-.5*r)/r.y,-1);i++<1e2;e=length(p)/s){p=q+=i<50.?d*e:p-p+1e-4+e;p.z+=7.;o+=sqrt(e)/70.;p.xz*=rotate2D(t/8.);p=vec3(log(s=length(p)),atan(p.y,p.x),sin(t/4.+p.z/s));s=1.;for(int j;j++<6;)s*=e=PI/min(dot(p,p),.8),p=abs(p)*e-3.,p.y-=round(p.y);}

yonatan (@zozuar)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 13:56 +0000

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1512785529712123906

People use twitter for different reasons. Most influencers use the platform as a tool to propel their brand or whatever they have going on. They aren't really using twitter. Twitter isn't dying, big celebs that have nothing going on don't need to use it as often anymore. 🤖

xQc (@xQc)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 14:02 +0000

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1512785529712123906

Why are you fudding your own investment?

CoinMamba (@coinmamba)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 13:58 +0000

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1512785529712123906

what is your agenda? you buy 9% of twitter and now what? shit on it until the stock price goes down so you can do a takeover?

KattaK (@B_KattaK)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 13:33 +0000

https://twitter.com/1917baybee/status/1512652211788337155

Is hair pulling inherently sexual? Are clothes inherently sexual? Is a collar inherently sexual? They CAN be. And for many people are in certain context. But it's the context that matters.

Josh Metheney (@HistoricalNoOne)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 04:48 +0000

"there shouldn't be sexual stuff at pride" okay kid I'm gonna explain this exactly once: the homophobes and transphobes call your existence sexual, that's why they're banning it from school under the purview of "sex ed"

Siobhan O'Leary (@SiobhanFTB)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 22:42 +0000

https://twitter.com/mipsytipsy/status/1512755908195098624

It feels really objectionably stupid for great people to have to leave companies they love because of org chart inflexibility. But every exception and one-off creates it's own organizational debt, and often cynicism and equity issues over special treatment.

Charity Majors (@mipsytipsy)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 11:47 +0000

it's called an mx record because e-mail is a non-binary interchange format

sirocyl (@sirocyl)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 17:28 +0000

"Unit tests make me slow". Said the developer who proceeded with manually setting up a scenario for the 18th time that day.

Dardan Bekteshi (@dardan_bekteshi)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 08:01 +0000

yall I am appliance shopping right now and I didn't even know that "enhanced cinematic lighting" was a feature that dishwashers could even have

At this point... I can't wait for the day @Apple goes full USB-C the only hold out are iPhones at this point and it's ridiculous.

Chris Short (He/Him/His) 🇺🇸🇺🇦 (@ChrisShort)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 11:19 +0000

This is a horrible framing of what was said here. She said she just wanted to be with Will, and that marriage was never for her, but that her mother pressured them to get married due to her pregnancy. Will is in this video supporting her.

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Jada Pinkett Smith 'never' wanted to marry Will, cried at 'horrible' wedding trib.al/uMpujN9

New York Post (@nypost)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 19:46 +0000

Jameela Jamil 🌈 (@jameelajamil)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 11:26 +0000

https://twitter.com/taffdancer/status/1512031683742216193

ok boomer

Willowsaurus 🦕 (@WillowDarksong)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 11:49 +0000

https://twitter.com/taffdancer/status/1512031683742216193

🙄

Rally Girl (@good__trouble)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 22:58 +0000

https://twitter.com/happysquinn/status/1511984432588152833

But I think the point is why should you have to skimp and not enjoy life to afford a home.

Jordon Rogers (@21Rogers21)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 09:24 +0000

took my own lunch to work and didn’t buy a coffee today so i should be able to afford to buy a house any day now

andy (@heyitsandy_)Wed, 06 Apr 2022 15:36 +0000

https://twitter.com/heyitsandy_/status/1511729612954423319

might do it again tomorrow and buy a holiday home on the coast and a new car

andy (@heyitsandy_)Wed, 06 Apr 2022 16:31 +0000

https://twitter.com/veekorbes/status/1512480542687694858

bold of you to assume I'm efficient at any capacity

cube drone (@cube_drone)Sat, 09 Apr 2022 08:59 +0000

i wish more people would understand that people are more efficient at 70% capacity than 110%

v korbes (@veekorbes)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 17:20 +0000

if you just give the tiktok voice a long string of random words it breaks them up into these short phrases that have perfect clickbait cadence

fruit goes beep (@scanlime)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 04:37 +0000

🏳️‍⚧️💙 Natalie ... xx (@Nat_itsme_uk)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 14:56 +0000

Let’s clarify one thing: not believing that the pandemic has ended when facts clearly tell you it hasn’t ended is not called ‘covid anxiety’.

Dr Nisreen Alwan 🌻 (@Dr2NisreenAlwan)Fri, 10 Sep 2021 13:42 +0000

https://twitter.com/Julietteyooo/status/1512539913262022657

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

julietteyooo (@Julietteyooo)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 21:18 +0000

Don’t forget to gas light ur man today 🙏

julietteyooo (@Julietteyooo)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 21:16 +0000

cats being weird little guys (@weirdlilguys)Fri, 25 Mar 2022 14:51 GMT

I wish ppl come with a 30 sec trailer so I can see what I’m getting myself into.

SIE (@_badassiee)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 01:34 +0000

A few people just told me my glasses are too expensive… they’re on sale for $10.00 though. I’m not sure how much “cheaper” y’all expect me to sell premium wine glasses for 😭 Now I’m questioning myself.. is $10.00 to much?

Tay (@iles__)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 22:55 +0000

https://twitter.com/iles__/status/1512202397761904644

even if you weren’t the one bussin your ass in your garage making the glasses, $10 is extremely reasonable. a friend of my mother’s daughter actually DOES & she charges $200 a set of 6 (for a basic glass shape). if you don’t hike that shit back up to $20 😆 shit, CHARGE MORE; $35

𝕷𝖚𝖓𝖆 𝕷𝖊𝖁𝖎𝖊𝖌𝖊 (@LunaLeViege)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 11:08 +0000

https://twitter.com/codyghosthost/status/1511773908365725699

War Fries (mayonaise, peanut sauce and little chopped onions)

Underworld666⚒ (@Underworld66681)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 03:49 +0000

https://twitter.com/codyghosthost/status/1511773908365725699

I prefer fries with my ketchup to be honest.

M (@MM57135944)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 00:38 +0000

linux clipboards are great if you want your OS to gaslight you you have a text file open, you hit paste, it pasts "foo" you select "bar", hit cut, "bar" disappears you hit paste, "foo" appears where did bar go why is foo still here

foone (@Foone)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 16:24 +0000

I am SCREAMING

Della Reese’s Pieces. (@LaVidaYeauxduh)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 21:55 +0000

John Wick 4 and that choice wasn’t even hard twitter.com/discussingfilm…

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These films have all been pushed to 2023. If you could choose, which would you see first? - 'Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom' - 'John Wick: Chapter 4' - 'The Flash' - 'Transformers: Rise of the Beasts' See what other release dates have recently changed: bit.ly/Dates2022

DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 16:56 +0000

Lewis (Taylor’s Version) (@lpowell092020)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 17:33 +0000

https://twitter.com/MRiverlife/status/1401527926416416772

I can't imagine today's boomers doing it, all y'all do is buy commemorative Trump teddy bears & post "how to open PDF" as a facebook status

Hot Take Appreciator (@IHateNYT)Mon, 07 Jun 2021 06:07 +0000

company messages to me as IC: "sorry, you don't have X years of experience in [very specific thing] so we are less interested" company messages to me as a line manager: "who cares if you have no experience in product eng? managers are managers! come manage our product eng team!"

kf (@kf)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 17:55 +0000

What I realized from the last couple of weeks is: live your life as if it were your last month on this Earth. 💔

Johan Bové (@johanbove)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 20:32 +0000

is there anything more truly legendary than winning an Oscar for best actor and immediately afterwards being banned from them for a decade?

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Will Smith receives 10-year ban from Oscars. thefader.com/2022/04/08/wil…

The FADER (@thefader)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 19:56 +0000

Cara (@caraesten)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 20:31 +0000

https://twitter.com/caraesten/status/1512528681243013124

obviously this is an unjust decision but wow incredible energy

Cara (@caraesten)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 20:32 +0000

i find these discussions pointless because everyone's using different definitions, and title inflation is bonkers. how would you compare levels/titles across these three companies? what's the point of quibbling over the meaning of senior when this is what ladders look like?

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How many years of experience do you need to be a senior software senior engineer?

David Fowler 🇧🇧🇺🇸 (@davidfowl)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 00:49 +0000

amy nguyen (@amyngyn)Fri, 08 Apr 2022 14:01 +0000