Kind likes

one of the most influential people on the planet and he is having a public meltdown because i sent him a pic of him bombing on snl. elon it all goes away if you just give me $1 billion twitter.com/elonmusk/statu…

Jeremy Kaplowitz (@jeremysmiles)Tue, 31 May 2022 03:59 +0000

https://twitter.com/TechInsider/status/1530140595414568960

Imagine inventing a clock that you can’t read unless you get up and stick your finger into it and seriously thinking you’ve struck gold

Xploshi (@Xploshi)Mon, 30 May 2022 22:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/TechInsider/status/1530140595414568960

jenny_tightpants_ (@halomancer1)Tue, 31 May 2022 01:40 +0000

https://twitter.com/Xploshi/status/1531404630390984704

and it just adds to your electricity bill instead of just using a battery powered clock

cooper (@scoopylump)Mon, 30 May 2022 22:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/TechInsider/status/1530140595414568960

Thank god someone invented the..... *checks notes* a sundial? again?

The Spoopy Gaymer Wolf Dante Kinkade (@Gaymerfurrywolf)Mon, 30 May 2022 18:50 +0000

https://twitter.com/halomancer1/status/1531450407859261440

Oh shit this clocks uses shadows to tell time, too!

Scotti 🏳️‍⚧️ (@Watchman_5)Tue, 31 May 2022 01:55 +0000

oh good, tech bros invented the sundial twitter.com/techinsider/st…

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This clock uses shadows to tell time

Tech Insider (@TechInsider)Fri, 27 May 2022 10:55 +0000

the thicc husband & father (@lukeisamazing)Mon, 30 May 2022 11:26 +0000

Why did we have an empire? Because we were better at stealing things than others. Why do some people have inherited wealth? Because their ancestors were better at stealing things than others.

Marcus Chown (@marcuschown)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 06:08 +0000

i have just discovered that there is a boat in amsterdam where you are served bottomless pancakes as you tour the waterways. please observe her name and title

supper mario griff (@griffski)Mon, 30 May 2022 10:50 +0000

Her cousin

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What was the Queen doing when you were born and in every year of her life? Find out here 👇 trib.al/dvLwyXI

Sky News (@SkyNews)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 06:18 +0000

DJB (@DJ_Barc)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 06:20 +0000

all the Elizabeth Line trains should have her face on the front like Thomas the Tank Engine

Toby Earle 🇺🇦 (@TobyonTV)Tue, 31 May 2022 11:27 +0000

Suicidal client in immigration detention has been told they are unable to provide counselling and instead has been sent a trauma handout pack in English (language he cannot understand). Suggestions include ‘try a new haircut’ and ‘play an instrument.’ Thanks Home Office!

G (@ginaskandari)Tue, 31 May 2022 16:44 +0000

Well, Nick if you listen to the interview I’m calling MYSELF out as well — there were a lot of us doing ironic “racism” back in the aughts, and it led to some bad shit. But it made a better headline for them, I guess. But it’s the opposite of what I say in the interview. twitter.com/nickdipaolo/st…

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What an elitist dickwad! A stand up “comedian” for censorship! There’s your irony you fuckin little garden gnome. Who the fuck are you to be the moral arbiter? @pattonoswalt #censorship #comedy

Nick DiPaolo (@NickDiPaolo)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 01:29 +0000

Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 02:51 +0000

https://twitter.com/caseyJsalengo/status/1531658475788451844

Bo’s a weird example of a guy who has been idolized despite spending half his career telling people to stop idolizing celebrities, including himself.

Nick aka Kenny aka Red Beard (@RedHeaded_Kid)Tue, 31 May 2022 20:14 +0000

https://twitter.com/RedHeaded_Kid/status/1531730935162478596

Caroline Smyth (@carolineasmyth)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 00:56 +0000

just want u to know

Celeste (@celeste_game)Tue, 31 May 2022 22:26 +0000

Bill Phillips (@billjings)Tue, 31 May 2022 17:47 +0000

me: I need to buy a train ticket employee: window or aisle me: *suddenly nervous* or you'll what

Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten)Tue, 31 May 2022 13:30 +0000

The stupid TikTok/IG Reels trend where influencers show off SiLlY and qUiRkY texts from their husbands and significant others has me about to vomit

Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 03:02 +0000

https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1531834036468887555

All the goofy 🤪 texts from their husbands are literally just completely normal texts. There’s nothing funny about them. Stop subjecting us to this trend please I beg! (no hate)

Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 03:05 +0000

what's your favorite album of all time and why is it hybrid theory by linkin park

aubri (@aubrionna)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:07 +0000

https://twitter.com/lindseybieda/status/1520249945697128449

Same thing

Pumpkin Spice Lindsey (@lindseybieda)Sat, 30 Apr 2022 03:53 +0000

doing a phd is so embarrassing imagine thinking "gotta finish this paper!" while ur friends r putting a down payment on a home

hater (@gayofbengal)Tue, 31 May 2022 04:50 +0000

Thinking about Dr. George Tiller today, who was murdered because of his work providing abortion care on this day 13 years ago. It’s vital to realize that the movement against abortion access has long existed & has long been extreme.

Kimya كيميا (@kimyaf)Tue, 31 May 2022 11:32 +0000

https://twitter.com/KatyMontgomerie/status/1531714894881603585

"Gender Critical" transphobes can NEVER resist drawing trans women with hairy legs and cis women without. Wonder why that is

Katy Montgomerie 🦖🦕 (@KatyMontgomerie)Tue, 31 May 2022 19:14 +0000

What I picture in my head whenever someone says "key stakeholders":

Chloe Condon (@ChloeCondon)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 00:40 +0000

happy pride month, rt this to scare a terf

𝐒𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚🔪 (@tinywienerbabe)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:44 +0000

Stay safe in #stormeunice everyone. A trampoline has blown into my garden and smashed two of my gnomes very upset

Carol McGee (@carolmcgee70)Fri, 18 Feb 2022 14:34 GMT

I had a dream that I had a literal container garden and set up a certificate for the flowerpot 😳 the containers had to have the right keys for the soil, or the plants in them would die

Ian Coldwater 📦💥 (@IanColdwater)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 05:41 +0000

https://twitter.com/polotek/status/1531803113262264320

I'm officially an old hater when it comes to frontend. Everything is slower by default. Nothing is actually easier than it was before. Things are still buggy af despite all the linting and type systems and build steps. And it's not even fun anymore. Sorry not sorry.

Marco Rogers (@polotek)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 01:04 +0000

Happy Corporations turn their avatar into a rainbow for one month and 6 days to those who celebrate

Andy Bell (@hankchizljaw)Wed, 01 Jun 2022 06:01 +0000

my kid just asked if she’ll be able to fly when she’s a grown up and I was like…no honey I’m so sorry. and she was like “what?! what’s the point of being a grown up then?” and now im in the bathroom tweeting because i need a MINUTE for that one

ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl)Tue, 31 May 2022 20:17 +0000

https://twitter.com/ElyKreimendahl/status/1531731565595742208

love, art, family, friends, doing things you care about, nature, good tv shows, etc…..these are the things I came up with but like we all know those aren’t as good as FLYING

ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl)Tue, 31 May 2022 20:20 +0000

The fact that an overwhelming majority of Americans want universal background checks, but our politicians don’t make it happen tells you all you need about the role of money in politics.

Robert Reich (@RBReich)Sun, 29 May 2022 20:26 +0000

I used to hate getting cold emails, but now I love it. A random person emails us twice, trying to sell us something (like WP hosting for our static website), and I simply pitch Fathom to them. I even follow up if they go quiet. I call this "the reverse cold email sales pitch." 😎

Jack Ellis (@JackEllis)Tue, 31 May 2022 17:00 +0000

The creator of a memecoin-turned-top cryptocurrency says his interactions with Elon Musk didn't impress him, and predicted that crypto is still headed for a big crash.

Every time I’m cleaning people are like “why put up sex toys? don’t you want to use them 😏😏😏” and I’m like “listen when you clock out from the cock sucking factory do you immediately go home and suck more cock” and they’re like “well yeah” hustle culture is the worst

buttplug.io 🍑🔌 - Open Source Sex Tech (@buttplugio)Tue, 31 May 2022 15:41 +0000

People often say "sound on" when sharing videos, but never "sound off" for things with those infernal plinky-plonky soundtracks or worse, TikTok meme songs. Warn your friends if they're about to be assaulted by racket, please 😩

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Tue, 31 May 2022 10:08 +0000

Whenever I see a celebrity with a slickly apolitical public image I just assume they're covering up some absolutely batshit beliefs, like the planet being a giant exercise ball for the World Hamster, or that celebrities should be allowed to hunt humans for sport

Katie (@ZiziFothSi)Tue, 31 May 2022 10:06 +0000

“Elon reached out to me to get hold of that script and it became apparent very quickly that he didn’t understand coding as well as he made out. He asked, “How do I run this Python script?” crikey.com.au/2022/05/30/dog…

Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz)Tue, 31 May 2022 05:16 +0000

an earth scientist just poured me coffee and said "it must be hard being beautiful" i could get used to this place

👩‍💻 Paige Bailey #BlackLivesMatter (@DynamicWebPaige)Thu, 30 May 2013 12:47 +0000

i was trying to record this video to my phone but i got an amber alert

Sadie Jane (@scaryfiction)Mon, 30 May 2022 05:07 +0000

https://twitter.com/HardDriveMag/status/1531335346826379266

if elon musk hates socialism so much why is he always getting publicly owned

nathaniel rosenberg (@nathanielro)Mon, 30 May 2022 20:17 +0000

https://twitter.com/HardDriveMag/status/1531335346826379266

LunarLiv (@LunarLivH)Mon, 30 May 2022 18:14 +0000

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1531333502138032129

well you're the expert on SNL's bad days

Hard Drive (@HardDriveMag)Mon, 30 May 2022 18:02 +0000

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1531319938195021824

ok well lemme know what you think about this one hard-drive.net/elon-musk-admi…

Hard Drive (@HardDriveMag)Mon, 30 May 2022 17:23 +0000

https://twitter.com/HardDriveMag/status/1531335346826379266

Elon right now

BussyFajitas | 𝐁𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞 Vtuber (@Bussy_Fajitas)Mon, 30 May 2022 23:10 +0000

Valet helps facilitate the migration of Azure DevOps, CircleCI, GitLab CI, Jenkins, and Travis CI pipelines to GitHub Actions. - GitHub - github/gh-valet: Valet helps facilitate the migration of Az...

Comrade Sisko 🖖🏾✊🏿☭ (@Pinko69420)Mon, 30 May 2022 18:22 +0000