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The irony is that Busted called it. We will, in fact, live under water

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You ever think about how the year 3000 is literally 78 years away

bandit 👼🏿 (@kinkbandit)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 16:35 +0000

Andy Bell (@hankchizljaw)Sun, 04 Sep 2022 04:09 +0000

This is better than four parked cars.

Hayden Clarkin (@the_transit_guy)Sat, 03 Sep 2022 18:15 +0000

https://twitter.com/lizthegrey/status/1566285139767767041

I guess Cloudflare can say 🎵we didn't start the fire🎵, but they sure did prevent anyone else from coming to put it out, while trans people were trapped inside screaming, and they were sure to supply as much gasoline as the arsonists wanted.

Liz Fong-Jones (方禮真) (@lizthegrey)Sun, 04 Sep 2022 04:53 +0000

https://twitter.com/0xInuarashi/status/1566035067008593922

Looks like they have planned maintenance atm

Ryojin (@Ryojn6)Sat, 03 Sep 2022 12:09 +0000

Llama friend

It's simply untrue that the public will have to choose between heating and eating this winter. You're not going to be able to do either.

Parody Liz Truss (@LizTruss_MP)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 20:36 +0000

https://twitter.com/pati_gallardo/status/1565774247741558784

Technical writing. This effects so much: you code comments, your PR descriptions, your commit messages, your code review interactions, design documents, blog posts etc It circles back too ... do I know this well enough to explain this clearly and concisely.

Shafik Yaghmour (@shafikyaghmour)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 19:13 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1565621318279651331

🙈🙈🙈

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 08:43 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1565621297756999680

😆😆😆

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 08:43 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1565621350655459328

🛀😌

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 08:43 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1564932158170566657

🚿

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 08:42 +0000

Not my cat, but I’m very fond of her.

Coco.

In 2004 I received a Linguistics degree. There is vanishingly little use to that. But when I find a cultural debate about language I can…

https://twitter.com/weirddalle/status/1565418009543458816

Urkel vs. Cthulhu: The Battle of the Century

I Wanna Talk to Ralph Sampson (@hutzhoo)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 19:36 +0000

Rack middlewares to create OpenAPI based HTTP APIs - GitHub - ahx/openapi_first: Rack middlewares to create OpenAPI based HTTP APIs

What am I doing? Does TDD even make sense writing Terraform code? Well of course. That's what they get for calling it a programming language.

brian wisti (@brianwisti)Fri, 02 Sep 2022 05:56 +0000

Drinking 3 foot margaritas and grabbing golden tiddies

Katelyn Bowden (@medus4_cdc)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 17:16 +0000

Just get a new kettle kids and you’ll save a tenner on your £7,500 energy bills Visionary gibberish from the outgoing PM

Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 11:47 +0000

Me bringing in 27 bags of groceries at once because I don't want to walk 10 feet back and forth from the car 2-3 times.

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Oh come on! 😳🤯🔥

Fred Schultz (@FredSchultz35)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:20 +0000

tim myers | Chief “Petty” Officer (@denvercoder)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 17:25 +0000

Great, now my office is trying to kill me while I record a video.

Jeff Geerling (@geerlingguy)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 16:18 +0000

Britney Spears's performance with wild animals at the VMA awards. Her biggest problem was when she shouted out "this lone lioness is killing me!" and nobody paid any attention

Stuart Langridge (@sil)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 11:15 +0000

You made home computers Alan

Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods)Tue, 30 Aug 2022 20:32 +0000

redneck sayings are so unhinged. yesterday my coworker said "with my luck it could be raining titties and i'd still look up and catch a dick" with a straight face and just kept working. didn't even realize i was speechless

Jesus of Suburbia (@flaxseedthot)Fri, 24 Jun 2022 13:07 +0000

well I did my (very small) part and migrated my two websites off of Cloudflare today. I'm sure my origin server can handle the extra 26gb/mo of traffic itself just fine.

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/1565226441087803392

There you go.

Richard "RichiH" Hartmann (@TwitchiH)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 06:35 +0000

https://twitter.com/daphnehk/status/1565087736582656000

Yeah, extremely “thoughtful” to decide to directly help Nazis spew their poison and helping them kill people. A truly galaxy-brain approach in nuance and decorum.

Thomas “🐈🔭🕹” Fuchs (@thomasfuchs)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 01:12 +0000

https://twitter.com/cypherhalo/status/1565127675835998208

Just let me check your bio aaaaaand yep that was not even slightly a surprise. Another incel rooting for the team of bigotry and hate under the guise of religion.

BrainGeeenius 💢 (@LeftyBesty)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 00:36 +0000

All those edge computing enthusiasts are mighty quiet about CloudFlare this week. I wonder why that is.

Jan Lehnardt (@janl)Thu, 01 Sep 2022 06:39 +0000

I like your product but y’all need to look up consent my god twitter.com/calendly/statu…

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80% of leads say “no” four times before saying “yes.” These follow-up email templates help you keep the momentum going so you can advance conversations, nurture relationships, and grow revenue. 🤝 ⬇️ bit.ly/3pZjwyZ

Calendly (@Calendly)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 17:22 +0000

tierney cyren (@bitandbang)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 17:27 +0000

Coffee shops are adult study hall. At Flywheel Coffee Roasters.

One key thing we’ve learned about the human brain is that it’s just like the rest of the body: every part of it can go wrong, in a million different ways. It’s unlikely that the gender identity part …

If I didn’t have ADHD, I might be organized enough to hire someone to help me take care of the things I need help with (like organizing) because of my ADHD. Instead, I’ve chosen that Chaos Life.

Jesse J. Anderson • ADHD Creative (@jessejanderson)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:48 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1564932127782625283

🐜🦟🐜🦟🐜

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 11:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1564862501367455746

💀💀

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:27 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1564862545332256772

“does anyone know much about system x?”

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 11:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1564932008555470848

i’m glad that was a universal experience 😂

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 11:04 +0000

6yo is at the stage where he finds great joy in saying incredibly inappropriate things. Yesterday we were sharing riddles: Me: What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you? 6yo: YOUR ANUS I'm still cry-laughing whenever I think about it.

Simon Scarfe (@simonscarfe)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:37 +0000

what idiot called it "truth social" and not "getting the banned back together"

Nick Morgan (@skilldrick)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:37 +0000

My dad is not remotely “woke” or online, so I asked him: “Dad, what do you think about Leo only dating women under 25 even though he’s almost 50?” “It’s gross.” 🤷🏻‍♀️ this is not a “new feminist complaint,” it’s actually common sense, to decent people.

Kelly Ellis is Pro-Abortion (@justkelly_ok)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 16:31 +0000

They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day and then just re-release the original.

jim rose circus (@jimrosecircus1)Tue, 30 Aug 2022 19:00 +0000

Is Google Analytics still useful and how accurate are its stats? How much data is missing from Google Analytics due to adblockers and privacy-friendly browsers?

👨‍💻 "We don't bother testing in Firefox as hardly any of our customers still use it, according to Google Analytics" Meanwhile... 🚫 "88% of Firefox users block GA" plausible.io/blog/google-an… HT @simevidas

Peter O'Shaughnessy (@poshaughnessy)Tue, 31 Aug 2021 16:28 +0000

A reminder of this article from last year and why you shouldn’t rely on Google Analytics to conclude what browsers your users are using.

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👨‍💻 "We don't bother testing in Firefox as hardly any of our customers still use it, according to Google Analytics" Meanwhile... 🚫 "88% of Firefox users block GA" plausible.io/blog/google-an… HT @simevidas

Peter O'Shaughnessy (@poshaughnessy)Tue, 31 Aug 2021 16:28 +0000

Pelle Wessman (@voxpelli)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 10:26 +0000

A girl's best friend

Apex Legends (@PlayApex)Tue, 30 Aug 2022 18:01 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1564932053921062912

@JamieTanna it’s you and me 😂

Carol ☔️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 11:04 +0000

If Monzo existed in the early 00s: - £1.99 on a happy meal just for the toy - payment to Blockbuster for your favourite dvds - buying the Crazy Frog ringtone - cinema tickets to see X-men 2 with Orange Wednesdays - Woolworths pick 'N' mix

Monzo (@monzo)Wed, 31 Aug 2022 09:24 +0000

1: #Tokyo metro map in 2D. 2: The same map in 3D.

Taras Grescoe 🚇 (@grescoe)Tue, 30 Aug 2022 13:48 +0000