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Before it all ends, I just want you to know this is the best tweet that’s been tweeted

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Software Engineers 20-25: gotta get a job gotta get a job gotta get a job 25-29: gotta get promoted gotta get promoted gotta get promoted 30: makes their own pickles

malice ghoulpus (@alicegoldfuss)Thu, 16 Jan 2020 17:27 GMT

Sarah Drasner (@sarah_edo)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 03:06 GMT

The Twitter meltdown is distracting me from fully enjoying the FTX meltdown.

matt blaze (@mattblaze)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 16:49 GMT

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1593767953706921985

Come advertise with us, the site that allows a former president free reign to do all kinds of incitement

James Felton (@JimMFelton)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 06:38 GMT

People who need IT support from their children every Thanksgiving because they can't print anymore keep asking why Twitter won't just keep running with no employees.

Marco Rogers (@polotek)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 17:47 GMT

https://twitter.com/AndreMaillho/status/1593771193865322497

Hahahaha

Make Lies Wrong Again (Some Knucklehead) (@TheBoltUpright)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 01:06 GMT

I was up til 3am. I am a mess. I’ve never experienced something this dark and worrying in my life. Again, encouraging anyone who’s messaged me to speak up publicly if they can.

Cassie Evans (@cassiecodes)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 08:47 GMT

https://twitter.com/cassiecodes/status/1593690761798848514

I don't have a 'network' I have friends. I have community. I will not stand for you bullying them.

Cassie Evans (@cassiecodes)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 19:42 GMT

She's contacted the CEO of someone's workplace to get them to stop tweeting about the event so please be cautious about sharing this if this could negatively affect your employment. Gen - I can go all day mate. Try me.

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One of my friends spoke out about her experience with Modern Frontends. I have some things to say too. It seems like a lot of people do. cassie.codes/posts/modern-f…

Cassie Evans (@cassiecodes)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 18:42 GMT

Cassie Evans (@cassiecodes)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 19:41 GMT

https://twitter.com/cassiecodes/status/1593691766250610688

This tracks directly with everything people have told me so far. I'm not even slightly surprised.

Cassie Evans (@cassiecodes)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 19:51 GMT

Idk man, last time he was here this platform was used to incite an insurrection, multiple people died, the Vice President of the United States was nearly assassinated, and hundreds were injured but I guess that’s not enough for you to answer the question. Twitter poll it is twitter.com/elonmusk/statu…

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 02:15 GMT

oh my god I was just checking my search results and I'm in the top 5 google results for buttblug time to mark that off the bucket list

buttplug.io 🍑🔌 - Open Source Sex Tech (@buttplugio)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 07:04 GMT

In all my years I've never seen SWers trending on civvie twitter. Not during FOSTA, Stormy Daniels, none of it. I am beside myself.

☂️Melissa "Missy" Mariposa☂️ (@ingodwetryst)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 04:31 GMT

i would simply have my lead pokémon auto battle all 40–50 feral hogs

eevee (parody) ❎ (@eevee)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 07:20 GMT

Social media has long been sneered at by “hardcore engineers” since before social media was a term. It was a dynamic at Google versus Blogger. The challenges of building systems that amplify human weirdness and wonder as distinct from search, commerce, cars just never computes.

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Let me suggest the contempt in that second tweet - “please, surely he can manage a social network” - is a big part of why he’s very visibly failing at managing this social network.

Will Stancil (@whstancil)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 13:25 GMT

Jason Goldman (@goldman)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 15:31 GMT

EXTREMELY THIS. speaking of google, you know why that company, full of “hardcore engineers” since its inception, has failed at no fewer than 4 major attempts at social media? because you need to understand people as deeply as you understand computers to be successful at them.

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Social media has long been sneered at by “hardcore engineers” since before social media was a term. It was a dynamic at Google versus Blogger. The challenges of building systems that amplify human weirdness and wonder as distinct from search, commerce, cars just never computes. twitter.com/whstancil/stat…

Jason Goldman (@goldman)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 15:31 GMT

EricaJoy (@EricaJoy)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 15:43 GMT

Jason Mantzoukas is Mr. D / Dionysus In #PercyJackson & The Olympians ⚡️ “Self-described as “100% Greek,” Jason is the perfect guy to inhabit everyone’s favorite grumpy wine god and head of camp, Dionysus. He’s also an accomplished jazz drummer!” - Rick Riordan.

Percy Jackson News 🔱 (@updatespercy)Thu, 02 Jun 2022 18:07 +0000

Gotta say, Mantzoukas as Dionysus is an incredible casting for this series.

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Jason Mantzoukas is Mr. D / Dionysus In #PercyJackson & The Olympians ⚡️ “Self-described as “100% Greek,” Jason is the perfect guy to inhabit everyone’s favorite grumpy wine god and head of camp, Dionysus. He’s also an accomplished jazz drummer!” - Rick Riordan.

Percy Jackson News 🔱 (@updatespercy)Thu, 02 Jun 2022 18:07 +0000

Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic Teens (@CSMFHT)Sat, 19 Nov 2022 07:27 GMT

BREAKING: Twitter just laid off 90% of their indexes. Sources confirm the remaining SQL queries just have to be more hardcore

Lukas Eder (@lukaseder)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 07:43 GMT

I used to use Goodreads for tracking/reviewing books I’ve read. Then Amazon bought them and I decided to move all that stuff to my own blog. This is how I did it! #indieweb #ownyourdata

i mean it’s one flight to sf, michael. what could it cost, $10?

parker lyons  (@tweetsbyparker)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 17:31 GMT

memes that i saved on my 256gb phone (@256GBMemes)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 02:25 GMT

now that the security team's gone? you misspelled "freedom of breach"

Ian Coldwater (@IanColdwater)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:48 GMT

"goodbye forever twitter / you're all over reacting" is the new glass half empty / half full

Amy Doherty (@amyloudoherty)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 17:00 GMT

https://twitter.com/kchironis/status/1593461585644642304

using mastodon makes me feel like i was inducted into somebody's polycule and they have Rules

Katie Chironis (@kchironis)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 04:32 GMT

a second swiftie has just struck the ticketmaster corporate offices

chase. (@cfree94)Thu, 17 Nov 2022 20:17 GMT

https://twitter.com/fifteeenswift/status/1593430476424978432

You forgot about trump announcing his run yesterday, this is a week of pure hell

Molly is not seeing Taylor (@burtn2thistaylr)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 03:36 GMT

why the fuck did a random thursday in november illicit the downfall of ticketmaster, twitter, nancy pelosi, and greys anatomy

l(abby)rinth (@fifteeenswift)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 02:26 GMT

https://twitter.com/fifteeenswift/status/1593430476424978432

wait what happened to greys

madison//mastermind💘🪴 (@folklorewhore13)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 02:57 GMT

You're laughing. Instagram accounts that gained hundreds of thousands of followers entirely by posting twitter screenshots are losing the source of their livelihood and you're laughing.

G. L. (@gldivittorio)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 01:25 GMT

loving how clear it is none of us understand what it takes for a website to actually break

steph mccann (@steph_mcca)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 01:21 GMT

Imagine people who died on the titanic finding out we compared that to this

gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 01:09 GMT

Screw you guys, I’m going home

South Park (@SouthPark)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 04:29 GMT

https://twitter.com/GianmarcoSoresi/status/1593411151035092998

this is way worse

gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 01:16 GMT

One last Emoji Mashup. Thank you for the ride!! 💙

Emoji Mashup Bot (@EmojiMashupBot)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 03:16 GMT

each time the TL refresh hesitates a second longer than usual

herald of alien superstar (@Steph_I_Will)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 00:43 GMT

✨The future is here ✨ Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson are the next TARDIS team 💙💙 Welcome Millie #DoctorWho

Safe Space Who (@SafeSpaceDrWho)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 20:40 GMT

Millie Gibson joins the cast of #DoctorWho as the Doctor's companion, Ruby Sunday ❤️❤️➕♦️ Read more here ➡️ bbc.in/3OlxExX

Doctor Who (@bbcdoctorwho)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 20:40 GMT

Currently happening in space right now x #DoctorWho #RIPTwitter

Safe Space Who (@SafeSpaceDrWho)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 02:17 GMT

https://twitter.com/irin/status/1593632795162730497

There’s never been a better time to witness the sheer unimpressiveness of so many white men with cult followings.

Irin Carmon (@irin)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 15:56 GMT

I was space Karen first, dammit.

Dr. Karen James (@kejames)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 06:54 GMT

If only we had taxed the rich maybe none of this would have happened

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 02:09 GMT

https://twitter.com/qDot/status/1593718583577583617

I am now seeing several journalists asking for Current Friends to contact them via Signal to talk about these policies. Any Friend found to be leaking privileged information may face a reduction in benefits from our Friends With Benefits™ program, or possible termination.

qdot (@qDot)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:57 GMT

Ok since everyone else is posting contact info... To everyone who wants to contact me elsewhere: Due to economic and market conditions, I am no longer accepting new friendships or acquaintances at this time.

qdot (@qDot)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:03 GMT

https://twitter.com/qDot/status/1593711501281329152

For current friends and acquaintances, please keep performance and delivery up. Relationship reductions may be required in the future, guided by the Friendship Stack Ranking system, as laid out in the handbook you should've received during Relationship Onboarding.

qdot (@qDot)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:30 GMT

https://twitter.com/qDot/status/1593718302404009984

For the sake of morale, I ask that you do not contact media about this internal relationship matter. Any questions on this matter can be directed to your Personal Friendship Representative.

qdot (@qDot)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:31 GMT

https://twitter.com/qkate/status/1593439892415352832

ok so the bad news is, according to ex-bf, "she doesn't date girls, yet" (lol whatever that means) but the good news is she texted me and maybe I have a new friend!

Kate Violette (@qkate)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:59 GMT

guy I wrote to on Hinge replied and said we probably wouldn't be a good match because his previous partner was also immunocompromised and that was "one third of [their] issues" so I asked him if he'd give my number to his ex-gf too bold?

Kate Violette (@qkate)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 02:53 GMT

To all the press reaching out in my DMs: No, I will not speculate on distributed systems failure modes for you, for two reasons: 1. There are many highly qualified, publicly available people you can, and should reach out to. 2. I am a 20-sided die on a hellsite.

DM of Engineering 🎲 (@dmofengineering)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:41 GMT

https://twitter.com/dmofengineering/status/1593721166522634241

But, if you're wondering how it's going...

DM of Engineering 🎲 (@dmofengineering)Fri, 18 Nov 2022 22:00 GMT