Likes from 25 December 2022

cut a hole in a plate and covered my penis with cookies, lying quietly waiting for santa

staid (@staidindoors)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 05:20 GMT

https://twitter.com/no_goblins/status/1607096216587829250

santa bout to go cookie monster on me

staid (@staidindoors)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 19:34 GMT

https://twitter.com/FoxxyGlamKitty/status/1607067749548703744

I don't get why nepo babies pretend that we don't know who their parents are and why (and how) they expect us to not know or care, it's not realistic. There's nothing wrong with just admitting that yeah, I'm famous because my parents are so and so.

Vanessa Clark (@FoxxyGlamKitty)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 17:46 GMT

I love Jamie but she's taking the discourse the wrong way lol, nobody is saying that nepo babies can't be talented in their own right, but it's absurd for so many of them to never acknowledge that having famous parents did help and is part of why they're famous at all.

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Jamie Lee Curtis, the daughter of Oscar nominees Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh, on the current "nepo babies" discourse: "There are many of us. Dedicated to our craft. Proud of our lineage. Strong in our belief in our right to exist.” bit.ly/3hMKw4y

IndieWire (@IndieWire)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 13:00 GMT

Vanessa Clark (@FoxxyGlamKitty)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 17:36 GMT

View count is a useless metric. On YouTube views are counted based on view time to help determine what videos lots of people are enjoying. On Twitter it means someone scrolled past your tweet and maybe read it but maybe didn’t. Didn’t think it was worth retweeting or liking.

Twіtter API (not parody) instagram: fake_api (@fake_api)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 20:29 GMT

https://twitter.com/fake_api/status/1607111280493461511

Likes and retweets are signals for quality/well liked/popular tweets (quote tweets are more ambiguous and can be good or bad). View count is useless and only shows how dead the platform really is. Gives advertisers leverage to spend less, or reason to spend none.

Twіtter API (not parody) instagram: fake_api (@fake_api)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 20:29 GMT

Throwback to the time the BBC asked Rage Against The Machine not to swear during a live Christmas broadcast.

No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 20:41 GMT

Gotta love tech journalists who describe Mastodon as "that impossible-to-use website." First of all, it's an app. C'mon. Second of all, aren't these the same people who write breathless explainers about the wonder of cryptocurrencies, which are not only impossible to understand but literally built from bullshit?

fucked up looking food (@fuckedupfoods)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 21:09 GMT

Merry christmassssss!!!!!!!!

Meredith Bull (@meredithbull)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 21:40 GMT

A-Train just ran through a Santa

THE BOYS (@TheBoysTV)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 21:48 GMT

It's like 10,000 views when all you need is a like

reindeer dames ben flores (@limitlessjest)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 20:41 GMT

“The show is just beginning…” #DoctorWho returns in 2023 ❤️❤️➕🔷

Doctor Who (@bbcdoctorwho)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 18:24 GMT

Santa forgot to take a bite of a cookie because she had already brushed her teeth and now the kid won’t stop talking about it.

emily freeman (@editingemily)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:51 GMT

Had a nice chat with someone who said he was homeless, which I assume must be some sort of clever tax avoidance scheme. #RishiSunak

Parody Rishi Sunak (@Parody_PM)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 11:42 GMT

My brother seemingly routinely yells at the cat "what do you want kitty?" In my head I've started filling in "to overthrow the patriarchy and to not have my motives questioned all the time"

Captain Macho Pirate Mick Rackham.yarr🏴‍☠️ (@tw2113)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 16:59 GMT

Many have said they realized they actually needed to keep masking because of my posts. If my posts about the dangers of COVID can save one life, then it's worth it. We are all we have & we need to do our best to protect each other- especially when people are unaware of danger.

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Those of you who keep shouting into the void about the dangers of covid: what motivates you? I get the feeling most people dismiss us as jerks who like to lecture people.

DeviJustice@mastodon.social (@DeviJustice)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 13:08 GMT

Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 19:39 GMT

WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme)Thu, 22 Dec 2022 22:30 GMT

I must be losing weight. I bent down to take the goose out of the oven, stood up to carry it to the table, and my trousers fell down. No-one was able to stop laughing for long enough to take a picture, I'm glad to say.

Philip Pullman (@PhilipPullman)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 17:21 GMT

I’m now getting roughly 20-30 approaches about placing ads on https://getblogging.org a day. I’m not doing it.

🎄🎊🎁✨ Merry Christmas, happy holidays, or simply a wonderful end of the year to everyone! Time to relax a bit, hug your loved ones, reminisce, …and work on your personal website! 🤓

Well, the #kingsspeech took a wild turn, but I'm all for it.

Aaron Kent (@GodzillaKent)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:25 GMT

No one expected that.... #KingsSpeech

St Peter (Parody of a dude who was Jesus's BFF) (@stpeteyontweety)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:34 GMT

Almost Time For The Kings Speech at 3pm whilst we're eating our Pigs In Blankets #kingsspeech #pigsinblankets

namelesszeus (@namelesszeus)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 14:27 GMT

Currently vacuuming with an Old Fashioned in hand because while I care about being helpful this holiday season, I also care about enjoying myself 😂

Taylor Poindexter (@engineering_bae)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 21:39 GMT

https://twitter.com/NoContextTrek/status/1607028432457682944

🎶Weyoun in a manger…🎶

RLJenkins (@rljenkarchi)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:05 GMT

Imagine if he brought Diana out

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King Charles' first-ever Christmas speech may have a 'surprise' trib.al/s4ww40p

New York Post (@nypost)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:18 GMT

Swagley Cooper (@_ednight)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 14:51 GMT

I mean what is more likely, that virtually EVERY PARENT is in on a giant global conspiracy, or that Santa is real.

Chris Nicholas (@DrChrisNicholas)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 13:01 GMT

i feel attacked

Paris Marx (@parismarx)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 04:44 GMT

Merry Christmas to you all ❤️ This day taught me that love is an invincible force, an infinite source of positive energy that gives us the power to destroy even the strongest walls of despair, darkness and injustice.

Uppermost (@uppermostmusic)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 10:10 GMT

Fuck off you Victorian Cockwomble. Go back to stealing toys from children. twitter.com/Jacob_Rees_Mog…

Scott (@ssxio)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 10:13 GMT

There are Tory MPs in Church today, dressed in their Sunday best. They will listen to The Good Samaritan parable and likely proclaim peace and love to all. Tomorrow they will go back to supporting the deportation of the most vulnerable & traumatised people to Rwanda.

Howard Beckett (@BeckettUnite)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 09:09 GMT

https://twitter.com/JimMFelton/status/1606610761702408192

Why provide actual help for homeless people when you can use them as a Christmassy PR opportunity

James Felton (@JimMFelton)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 11:23 GMT

https://twitter.com/jemmaforte/status/1606622408424701952

That’s the oddest part of this convo for me. Not Sunak trying to chat to him but a homeless bloke who thinks the city’s success helps us all. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Jay Motty (@JayMotty)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:20 GMT

There’s out of touch and then there’s a millionaire asking a homeless man in a homeless shelter if he’s in financial services

James Felton (@JimMFelton)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 11:20 GMT

https://twitter.com/JimMFelton/status/1606610761702408192

Interesting they managed to find and film a homeless person who thinks ‘if the City does well, we all do…’ 🥴

Jemma Forte (@jemmaforte)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 12:06 GMT

MDMA is a profound and fickle drug; it has the potential to make deeply traumatized people love themselves, and yet millions take it in the wrong circumstances and end up loving only European techno

Sasha Chapin (@sashachapin)Mon, 19 Dec 2022 07:27 GMT

OMG I’ve opened my gifts and I am so sorted for Christmas Day! (fridge magnet is divorce humour from my daughter - laughed so hard and I’m such a lucky dad 🥰🥰)

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 08:18 GMT

First Christmas Day totally on my own. - Got up when I was ready - Made a double espresso so strong it almost made me believe in Santa again - Just cooking bacon and brioche for breakfast - Two gifts to open then I’m gonna game all day Yeah I’ve had worst Christmases 😂

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 08:00 GMT

Just your seasonal reminder that you're not obliged to spend time around toxic people or in toxic environments. In life, you build your own family.

Jen (OnTheMove) 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 (@JenOnTheMoveUK)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 20:57 GMT

Happy last minute panic-shop to everyone who celebrates.

I just saw the Milky Way with my bare eyes for the first time in my life 🥲

Happy Xmas Eve 4:20 Mountain Time! Next show: 4:20 Pacific

Doug Benson (@DougBenson)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 23:24 GMT

The stove is gradually becoming more of a friend. 1951

Sylvia Plath's Food Diary (@whatsylviaate)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 16:00 GMT

SYLVIA NOOOOOOOO

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The stove is gradually becoming more of a friend. 1951

Sylvia Plath's Food Diary (@whatsylviaate)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 16:00 GMT

warm human (@w000rm)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:50 GMT

My 22yo flight instructor who gets paid $22/hr to literally risk his life sitting next to me every time we fly has never lost his temper w/me or tried to make me feel stupid, but my EM boss who makes $540K/yr can't take morning handover w/out actively trying to make someone cry.

Flying Lady Doctor Says | ☭ | تقول الطبيبة | 🇮🇶 (@LadyDoctorSays)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 03:32 GMT

Does he know?

Braden 🏺 (@BradenIsBased)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 19:22 GMT

The idea of a CEO touching servers after calling the software a Rube Goldberg machine is the stuff of nightmares.

Laurie (@laurieontech)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:14 GMT

https://twitter.com/Dixie3Flatline/status/1606840751941615617

anyway these christmas car sale ads have always struck me as particularly wild because they usually feature a husband surprising his wife with a car for christmas and who the fuck makes a purchase that large without consulting the person he is legally and financially tied to

Kat Cosgrove (Rat Arc) 🐀 (@Dixie3Flatline)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 02:36 GMT

how old were u when u found out that the irish potato famine wasn’t a famine at all and it was just the british stealing all their food

booty noodles (@bigsnugga)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 11:43 GMT

christmas belongs to her

NOSTALGIA (@notgwendalupe)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:25 GMT

hey guys last time Santa came to my house he said instead of milk and cookies he actually wants ketamine and oxys just fyi

Stanzi ❤️‍🔥 (@stanzipotenza)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 05:11 GMT

https://twitter.com/NjTank99/status/1606838177712701440

Damn bro he never said Santa couldn't do it.

Rudy (@RudyLTX)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 02:47 GMT

In case you were wondering, for Santa, in a single 24-hr Earth-night, to deliver presents to all those who celebrate Christmas, he must visit 25,000 homes per second.

Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 23:02 GMT

https://twitter.com/MarketAlly/status/1606705534861803522

Do you ever carefully read what you type (or the tweet you're responding to) before sending it?

Ivan the K™ (@IvanTheK)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:39 GMT

One of the most powerful survival skills is flexibility. I will always value safe and relaxed time with my loved ones over pushing through dangerous situations to do it on a certain day because of tradition. Do what you need to stay safe. One day isn’t worth putting lives at risk

Amanda Hu (@amandalhu)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:18 GMT

cookiephus

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Me keep having to start new batch of cookies for Santa because me keep eating them.

Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 18:01 GMT

🎄 stick 🎄 (jolly) (@briggityboppity)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 23:21 GMT

https://twitter.com/laraisuncool/status/1606450360620654592

M*sk trying to figure out his next move in any game of chess:

Rob Hunt (@helloiamrob)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:56 GMT

This is the funniest thing I've ever read

Lara Mendonça (@laraisuncool)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:43 GMT

Me keep having to start new batch of cookies for Santa because me keep eating them.

Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 18:01 GMT

https://twitter.com/MatthwBlack/status/1075747948653355008

You fools have it all wrong! It's not about any holiday! Die Hard is about socks! Why else would that guy tell John to remove his socks & make fists with his feet? Holly's boss' name? Takagi: the Japanese word for soft foot covering. & limo driver named Argyle? I rest my case

No one (@stoppedcaring19)Fri, 21 Dec 2018 15:15 GMT

https://twitter.com/MatthwBlack/status/1075747948653355008

IT WAS DECLARED A CHRISTMAS MOVIE AT THE COUNCIL OF NICEA I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GET ANGRY ABOUT THIS

The Messianic Secret (@MessianicSecret)Fri, 21 Dec 2018 03:36 GMT

The thing is, Die Hard wasn’t a Christmas movie originally. The script was changed by Constantine in 336 to align it with the Sol Invictus festival.

Matthew Black (@MatthwBlack)Thu, 20 Dec 2018 13:41 GMT

I love Twitter.

Fake History Hunter (@fakehistoryhunt)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:31 GMT

https://twitter.com/MatthwBlack/status/1075747948653355008

The Die Hard screenplay wasn’t even written until scores of years AFTER Hans Gruber died.

Eric Owens (@ericowensdc)Sun, 23 Dec 2018 05:07 GMT

This might be a controversial opinion, especially at Christmastime, but they should add a second god to Christianity to spice things up

pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 06:12 GMT

Happy birthday to the greatest Christmas tweet of all time

Chugging pilk at 2AM and getting a tummy ache (@_GASLIGHTER)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 06:14 GMT

https://twitter.com/IanColdwater/status/1606898590303268865

Some kid isn't with their daddy on Christmas morning because he's out on protest zone harassment duty. Go home

Ian Coldwater (@IanColdwater)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 06:31 GMT

"areas of expertise" has been a great matrix to quickly skim over all important parts of @calcom and who is knowledgeable ✅ = has knowledge 🥇 = is their main priority ⚠️ = is the only one with knowledge 👀 = has no knowledge but wants to be onboarded cal.com/open

Peer Richelsen 🗓🍊 (@peer_rich)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:42 GMT

https://twitter.com/monkchips/status/1606830217154240512

You got tinnitus for Christmas!

@codepope@mastodon.org.uk (@Codepope)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 07:10 GMT

In 'Elf' (2003) most of the montage of Buddy discovering New York was unscripted Jon Favreau would drop Will Ferrell off in random spots in the city and have him mess with people in character

Film Facts 🎬 (@Factsonfilm)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 01:36 GMT

i mean it only takes place on christmas for 8 minutes lol

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Did Chan just confirm the first Deadpool is a Christmas movie? Happy Holi-stays!

Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:59 GMT

Alex (@Brazil201)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:17 GMT

https://twitter.com/VancityReynolds/status/1606696064194674688

I always thought DEADPOOL was an International Woman's Day movie.

Aditya Sood (@adityasood)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:14 GMT

Bro just recorded the rarest moment in history

Overtime (@overtime)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:32 GMT

https://twitter.com/electraphibetas/status/1606844302197391360

Dawn got a PPP loan with 3 Million forgiven! Those were OUR taxes too!

Christmas W.A.P.(Wrong Ass Person) (@cat_shar)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 05:18 GMT