Missing friends so much 😔 Zoom isn't the same - I want to hug everyone and touch their faces. (Like that time I stroked @LittleHelli's face in the night when I was half asleep. Because that wasn't weird. "That's your nose." Yes. "Sorry." Good times.)

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 22:46 +0000

Wishful thinking, Apple...

Toby (@monotron_)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 22:42 +0000

When you really miss traveling...

🌺K🌺 (@gymlifeanimal)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 21:18 +0000

"We're in quarantine, all jokes are inside jokes right now." - @cassidoo 😑

amberley (@amber1ey)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 23:09 +0000

https://twitter.com/bruntonspall/status/1254375203158872066

I've already had linuxdudebros giving me 3! I like to spend my Sunday blocking replyguys™ on Twitter😁

Terence Eden (@edent)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 11:46 +0000

https://twitter.com/edent/status/1254368190290944000

Wow, that's a red rag to put out there. RIP your mentions! I'm sure you are going to be able to categorise them into: 1. Well actually, you can do X with incantation Y 2. Your needs are invalid/you are holding it wrong 3. It's not linux, it's GNU/Linux 4. Ubuntu can't do X tho

Michæl Brunton-Spall (@bruntonspall)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 11:42 +0000

I work in tech

Post details

you ever meet a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up

Abby Govindan (@abbygov)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 21:11 +0000

Ian Coldwater 📦💥 (@IanColdwater)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 01:54 +0000

when I bought a new carpet, my dog became a shark.

Life & Nature (@NatureSuperb)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 18:12 +0000

please don't consume bleach it's like 400 episodes long at this point and there are so many other shonen anime worth your time

BernieBromo (@kamilumin)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 22:01 +0000

This is how camera lenses change the shape of your face

Engineering (@engineeringvids)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 15:52 +0000

the hotdog are finally returning to the pastures. the earth is healing. we are the virus

linc (@lincnotfound)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 23:00 +0000

Possibly the weakest "team up" of all time

Richard Cook (@cookywook)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 09:59 +0000

All my anxiety dreams since the lockdown have taken place in public places with other people around. Nice try brain, but you're playing right into my hands 😎

Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 15:52 +0000

Earlier today we got our first takeaway of the lockdown era! Filthy vegan kebab was awesome, and check out this chonk of a cookie 😮

Carol 🌴living the island life ✨ (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 17:58 +0000

Just tried to tab-complete my password.

Terence Eden (@edent)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 11:50 +0000

has anyone considered that the blockchain could beat this pandemic why are you all laughing

Andy Bell (@hankchizljaw)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 08:56 +0000

Pancake time 🥞💛

Carol 🌴living the island life ✨ (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 09:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/csswizardry/status/1253961027588444161

I think the pandemic is a crystallising moment for many people with borderline OCD & paranoia. It does feel a bit like the world is coming to an end + germophobes have their fears proven true. Combine that with conspiracy theories online... razor wire and sirens.

Simon Hearne (@simonhearne)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 08:56 +0000

omg... Google's chief biz officer, on a Google Meet call with 1000s of staff, was asked why Zoom is dominating video chat. as he's answering, his kid walks in & asks if he's using Zoom 🤣 nytimes.com/2020/04/24/tec…

Jesse Lehrich (@JesseLehrich)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 23:14 +0000

Hot off the press

Katie Wiskar (@katiewiskar)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 17:46 +0000

I just saw a TikTok that called the stock market “a graph of rich people feelings” and that’s the most accurate thing I’ve ever read on my whole damn life

lucy @ E C L I P S E (@lyrratic)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 19:30 +0000

fly me to the moon let me kick its fucking ass let me show it what i learned in my moon jujitsu class

fuck the moon (@fthemoonreturns)Thu, 23 Apr 2020 16:37 +0000

Someone said a group of Karens is called a privilege and I have not stopped laughing 😂

TJ Benton (@terryjbenton)Thu, 23 Apr 2020 12:59 +0000

⚠️ Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever store currency as a float in your database

Michael Dyrynda (@michaeldyrynda)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 02:49 +0000

https://twitter.com/michaeldyrynda/status/1253516294571175938

But it just makes cents.

Dan Beeston (@DNABeast)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 05:02 +0000

My hospital bill went from $4,000 to $950 all because I asked them for a receipt and list of everything I was being charged for SMFH they lowered my bill by 76% Our health care system is a SCAM.

Yolanda (@icutyolawnduhh)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 19:09 +0000

i don't want to hear another word about bat soup 😑

Jenny Yang (@jennyyangtv)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 08:35 +0000

Just been on the radio with a male Dr. I am a female Prof. He was thanked as Dr X. I was thanked as Susan. #EveryDaySexism

Susan Michie (@SusanMichie)Thu, 23 Apr 2020 15:57 +0000

Our CTO turned himself into a pickle during the tech LT meeting today and couldn’t switch it off and I could not hold it together.

Tash Norris (@TashJNorris)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 20:20 +0000

Evan Greer (@evan_greer)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 02:15 +0000

And the Oscar for best lip-syncing goes to...

Ted Gioia (@tedgioia)Wed, 22 Apr 2020 22:08 +0000