Life during lockdown. In which I am happily mixing a cake and am not even aware that Ash, age 4, is no longer in the other half of the kitchen reading until I ask "Ash? Where's the vanilla?" And a voice from outside the kitchen door shouts "Not now, Dad. I'm cutting my hair!"

Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 02:47 +0000

Y’all: “I’m trying to lose weight, I’m about to eat a salad” The Salad:

🤍777 888 999🤍 (@KeIIyPriceJr)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 13:21 +0000

Keeping chocolate in my desk drawer, six inches away from my keyboard, is either the greatest idea I’ve had all month, or the greatest idea I’ve had all year 🐷

Denise Yu (@deniseyu21)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 20:25 +0000

That’s Quarantine, Baby!

☕️🌿🐻Meg Adams🐻🌿☕️ (@artbymoga)Wed, 22 Apr 2020 23:56 +0000

not to brag but I've exited vim before

casey (@varcharr)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 19:53 +0000

All this talk about how you can wear pajamas pants on zoom calls. But no one has seen the back of my hair/head for 2 months, Voldemort could be living back there

Kathleen Vignos (@kathleencodes)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 15:18 +0000

Earlier today I accidentally deleted all the code I had been working on for 3 days... 😅 BUT I just managed to reimplement the same feature in a better way, in less than 1h, so sometimes, you just need to start fresh..! 😂👩🏻‍💻

Charlie Gerard 🏳️‍🌈 (@devdevcharlie)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 16:20 +0000

https://twitter.com/IanColdwater/status/1254786906845376512

bletchley punk is masked up (@alicegoldfuss)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 19:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/alicegoldfuss/status/1254848878421016576

never forget that this exchange was literally written by trans women

Stuart P. Bentley (@stuartpb)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 19:06 +0000

Ah yes, my guest room

Rebecca Fishbein (@bfishbfish)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 00:28 +0000

Yo @amazon can we get a discount on our Prime membership? At this point, 2-day shipping doesn’t even exist and probably won’t again for sometime.

Fumikage Tokoyami (@arg_imma_pirate)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 17:34 +0000

To all the people who say "I don't know any men who act like the ones you describe"

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 12:34 +0000

I wonder what happened to the sausage?? 🤔

Hear Me Roar (@Stop_Trump20)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 19:29 +0000

I’m locked out of my dogs Facebook account that i created in 2010 and they won’t let me back in unless I send over a copy of his drivers license

soccerbabe2003 (@realemilyattack)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 16:15 +0000

https://twitter.com/kneath/status/1254445189554270209

A fidget spinner for enterprise customers? Sounds useful.

Max Schoening (@mschoening)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 16:22 +0000

https://twitter.com/mschoening/status/1254437013782007813

Kyle Neath (@kneath)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 16:20 +0000

https://twitter.com/mschoening/status/1254437013782007813

Loot crates

Dave Cheney (@davecheney)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 22:01 +0000

Join us next week for #WiTNotts Online 🎉💻 we're keeping the community feels going even through #lockdown 🧡✨ We'll be hearing about what it's like being a "Weirdo", the world of neurodiversity and mental illness with @SparkleClass! All the details 👉 nott.tech/wit-may

Women In Tech, Nottingham 🌈✨ (@WiT_Notts)Mon, 27 Apr 2020 06:57 +0000

https://twitter.com/JamieTanna/status/1254396465306370048

I'm too invested in tech, I misread shelves as servers and didnt bat an eye...

Richard Davies (@rwdrich)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 21:01 +0000

Missing friends so much 😔 Zoom isn't the same - I want to hug everyone and touch their faces. (Like that time I stroked @LittleHelli's face in the night when I was half asleep. Because that wasn't weird. "That's your nose." Yes. "Sorry." Good times.)

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 22:46 +0000

Wishful thinking, Apple...

Toby (@monotron_)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 22:42 +0000

When you really miss traveling...

🌺K🌺 (@gymlifeanimal)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 21:18 +0000

"We're in quarantine, all jokes are inside jokes right now." - @cassidoo 😑

amberley (@amber1ey)Sat, 25 Apr 2020 23:09 +0000

https://twitter.com/bruntonspall/status/1254375203158872066

I've already had linuxdudebros giving me 3! I like to spend my Sunday blocking replyguys™ on Twitter😁

Terence Eden (@edent)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 11:46 +0000

https://twitter.com/edent/status/1254368190290944000

Wow, that's a red rag to put out there. RIP your mentions! I'm sure you are going to be able to categorise them into: 1. Well actually, you can do X with incantation Y 2. Your needs are invalid/you are holding it wrong 3. It's not linux, it's GNU/Linux 4. Ubuntu can't do X tho

Michæl Brunton-Spall (@bruntonspall)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 11:42 +0000

I work in tech

Post details

you ever meet a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up

Abby Govindan (@abbygov)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 21:11 +0000

Ian Coldwater 📦💥 (@IanColdwater)Sun, 26 Apr 2020 01:54 +0000

when I bought a new carpet, my dog became a shark.

Life & Nature (@NatureSuperb)Fri, 24 Apr 2020 18:12 +0000