My husband just ate 6 poppadums, 4 onion bahji, 2 meat samosas, a mixed meat vindaloo with pilau rice & wiped his plate clean with naan bread, before turning to me & saying 'I think I've overdone it, next time don't order me any salad with the bahjis please.'

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 (@pearlylondon)Sat, 02 May 2020 19:09 +0000

I want to be very clear, I want to say this in the strongest terms: we are terrified of having to go back to a world where strangers don’t cross the street to avoid you and people attempt to make small talk. they will have to drag us there kicking and screaming

macoroni n cheese (@freezydorito)Sat, 02 May 2020 21:46 +0000

Why I code against a mock API: 1 I control the speed 2 It's never down 3 No internet required 4 No cross-team dependency 5 I can force it to throw errors to simulate server errors 6 I can write fast, reliable app tests 7 When I find a bug, I can enhance mock data and test it

Cory House (@housecor)Fri, 01 May 2020 15:21 +0000

Very American to decide we are bored with COVID and therefore it is over

Jeff Kasanoff (@JeffKasanoff)Sun, 03 May 2020 01:53 +0000

Hands down this is still and always will be one of my fave stickers! I love it so much I don't think I'll ever stick it on my laptop. Thanks again @thrivensunshine! 🥰

Sarah Paz (@heysarahpaz)Sat, 02 May 2020 23:48 +0000

https://twitter.com/miss_jwo/status/1256616687023030279

Today we came up with the plan for the next 6 weeks - both for ourselves and our food/ medical needs. What I’ve realised is that we’ve been treating Lockdown like a client project. 😂 We have weekly sprint planning & retros. And it’s keeping me sane. 🥰

Jenny Wong 🐝 (@miss_jwo)Sat, 02 May 2020 16:08 +0000

oh wow airlines are panicking to sell off their excess food inventory to discount grocers lucky me just what i always wanted shitty overpriced airplane snacks in the comfort of my home

isis agora lovecruft (they/them) (@isislovecruft)Sat, 02 May 2020 18:45 +0000

The best part? This is running on ‘old’, stable, reliable infrastructure. You don’t *need* Kubernetes to scale, it’s perfectly possible to do that with oldskool infra. Linux servers, MySQL, Redis & PHP: 👌

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✅ Just noticed that, since launch, @OhDearApp has performed more than 1 billion checks. It also has sent a over 500 000 notifications ohdear.app Some cool additions, including performance monitoring, are coming soon to the service! 👍

Freek Van der Herten (@freekmurze)Sat, 02 May 2020 16:00 +0000

Mattias Geniar (@mattiasgeniar)Sat, 02 May 2020 17:23 +0000

Cant stop watching this

Giles Paley-Phillips (@eliistender10)Sat, 02 May 2020 07:30 +0000

“I have a feeding tube so I don’t die” - very serious, makes people uncomfortable even though it’s the truth “I got my small intestine pierced” - metal

Sarah Esterman (@SarahEsterman)Fri, 01 May 2020 22:51 +0000

First, welcome to your new life! Ask questions! Find a work buddy with whom you feel comfortable asking any tech question. Never let anyone make you feel bad asking a question - there are no dumb questions. Ask a lot. Draw diagrams. Read code. Reassert your assumptions. Breathe.

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I start my new job as a software developer tomorrow. I am both nervous and excited. Any tips/advice/things you wish you had known when starting out? I'd love to hear it! #CodeNewbie #WomenWhoCode

✨𝚓𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚓𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚜 (@javascript_jess)Fri, 01 May 2020 00:40 +0000

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Sat, 02 May 2020 08:24 +0000

“how’s your year going?” me:

sloane 🍑 (@skipper)Fri, 01 May 2020 19:14 +0000

https://twitter.com/existentialcoms/status/1256287173579431936

Al Sweigart (@AlSweigart)Fri, 01 May 2020 19:01 +0000

Apparently, I can't set my password to "Mr. Owl Ate My Metal Worm"

Terence Eden (@edent)Sat, 02 May 2020 13:47 +0000

No matter how much of a failure you think you are, you will almost certainly never lose $14,000,000,000 by tweeting irishtimes.com/business/trans…

VƎX is Super Gay (@vexwerewolf)Fri, 01 May 2020 21:27 +0000

Rest In Peace to one of the funniest actors I’ve ever had the joy of working with. Sam Lloyd made me crack up and break character every single time we did a scene together. He could not have been a kinder man. I will forever cherish the time I had with you, Sammy.

Zach Braff (@zachbraff)Fri, 01 May 2020 22:44 +0000

That “Hold Up! Wait a minute!” Gets me everytime 😭

RHOle Model (@Kapri_Sunnnnn)Fri, 01 May 2020 16:29 +0000

Has this one been done already? Cuz I’m feeling it. Always.

🌈 𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫 💫 (@WTFcooner)Fri, 01 May 2020 23:22 +0000

Zoom should charge for the 40 minute cutoff version and make the endless meeting one free.

Mira Crisp (@misscrisp)Thu, 30 Apr 2020 15:30 +0000

Clearleft working from home recommendations.

Andy Budd (@andybudd)Fri, 01 May 2020 11:03 +0000

Happy #Caturday

Larry the Cat (@Number10cat)Sat, 02 May 2020 09:07 +0000

Planet Pokemon (@Planet_Pkmn)Fri, 01 May 2020 14:40 +0000

https://twitter.com/THe_ALex96/status/1256288821987217411

The old “we might have to overthrow a $640,000,000,000 a year industrial military complex with our rifles and ford F150’s” argument. So much for American might, and a strong Nat’l Guard.

chaz medina (@chazmedina1)Fri, 01 May 2020 19:47 +0000

It’s crazy that other countries solve their problems by coming up with solutions to their problems.

Kashana (@kashanacauley)Fri, 01 May 2020 18:04 +0000

left, America anti-lockdown protestor right, Auschwitz camp gate

manu saadia 🖖 (@trekonomics)Fri, 01 May 2020 23:22 +0000

https://twitter.com/BoyInTheTown/status/1256495517145718784

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ YO

Dr. Jessica Taylor (@DrJessTaylor)Sat, 02 May 2020 09:22 +0000

https://twitter.com/ms_mims/status/1256354609821396992

NO SCOOTERS™️ (@no_scooters)Fri, 01 May 2020 22:48 +0000

Whoever is photoshopping dildos over the guns in photos of reopen protesters is doing God’s work. (Via Reddit. Of course.)

Barry Dorrans (@blowdart)Sat, 02 May 2020 02:14 +0000

"why can't i sleep" he said whilst staring directly into the light up nightmare rectangle that held the anxieties of every person on the planet

TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon)Sat, 02 May 2020 01:16 +0000

https://twitter.com/bryanl/status/1256300226408783872

Especially in today’s world where everyone just wears slippers and hasn’t worn a shirt in months.

Gareth Rushgrove (@garethr)Fri, 01 May 2020 19:15 +0000

Learning vim is a life skill. It's like tying your shoes and learning to put your shirt on the right way. It's also more useful than both of the previous examples.

Bryan Liles (@bryanl)Fri, 01 May 2020 19:11 +0000

Haven’t stopped laughing.

Shanita Riquel (@SDotVA)Thu, 30 Apr 2020 23:29 +0000

when u accidentally cat a binary

xXxCharlotte69xXx (@Q3w3e3)Fri, 01 May 2020 18:45 +0000

I made a Hide The Pain Harold face mask.

Danielle Baskin (@djbaskin)Fri, 01 May 2020 19:20 +0000

Yes, You're Racist (@YesYoureRacist)Fri, 01 May 2020 16:33 +0000

Cute #homebrewWebsiteClub t-shirt on #AnimalCrossing just for @JamieTanna #indieWeb

Anna 🏠 (@anna_hax)Fri, 01 May 2020 12:06 +0000

https://twitter.com/anna_hax/status/1256193292234100739

Thank you @gRegorLove for the custom design 🙌✨ twitter.com/gRegorLove/sta…

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Represent the #indieweb on your Animal Crossing island! To get your own, access the kiosk in the Able Sisters store and search for Design ID `MO-5MDH-M0LJ-3MX1`. Also, if you want to visit my island, add me as a Switch friend. (gregorlove.com/2020/04/repres…)

gRegor Morrill (@gRegorLove)Fri, 01 May 2020 00:21 +0000

Anna 🏠 (@anna_hax)Fri, 01 May 2020 12:19 +0000

bought a costco sheet cake bc i figured we could use some cheer around here. toddler completely freaked out, demanding to know whose birthday it was. i explained you can just buy a cake when you want if you're grown up, etc. long back and forth. eventually agreed it's my birthday

Elizabeth Bruenig (@ebruenig)Fri, 01 May 2020 02:00 +0000

I cannot emphasize enough that "I should write my own framework!" is the wrong call 99.9% of the time.

Laurie Voss (@seldo)Thu, 30 Apr 2020 23:32 +0000