what a way to announce to the world that you've never had a woman sit on your face

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I put on a mask and literally within seconds, I am struggling to breathe.

Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 16:07 +0000

chelsea (@cee_ryan)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 21:33 +0000

If 👏 you 👏 ask 👏 me 👏 to 👏 upload 👏 my 👏 CV 👏 , 👏 you 👏 don't 👏 need 👏 to 👏 ask 👏 me 👏 to 👏 fill 👏 in 👏 my 👏 work 👏 history 👏 too. 👏

Callum Hill (@BeingCallum)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 21:28 +0000

Tired: main.js?v=1 Wired: using archive.org directly as a CDN for your javascript to get versions at any point in history

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Hey @BarclaysUK; maybe don't use @internetarchive as a CDN for your JS assets? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Phil (@immunda)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 20:13 +0000

Kieran McHugh (@kieranmch)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 21:13 +0000

Thank you to our lovely sponsors for supporting us, to @charlenehunterf for her AMAZING talk and inspiring conversations she sparked and a HUGE THANKS to everyone who came along 🧡 #WiTNotts We had some fun drawing in the second half, see if you can guess what they are 🕵️‍♀️🔍✏️

Women In Tech, Nottingham 🌈✨ (@WiT_Notts)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 20:45 +0000

Hey @BarclaysUK; maybe don't use @internetarchive as a CDN for your JS assets? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Phil (@immunda)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 20:13 +0000

Joe just said, "Do you want a hug?" to me and I replied "No I want crisps." I believe in being honest in relationships 😂

Jenni Brown 🍉 (@madebyjenni)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 14:57 +0000

Three times today someone has needed my help with an error - twice they could have handled it themselves if the error message hadn't seemed like it needed translating. Write friendly, verbose error messages in your software so devs can fix their own problems 👍

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 14:57 +0000

The glass has the same refractive index as the liquid

Physics & Astronomy Zone (@ZONEPHYSlCS)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 03:30 +0000

https://twitter.com/auth0/status/1278714049623195653

Or `417 expectation failed` 😂

Ryan Smee (@TheRyanSmee)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 15:41 +0000

Achievement unlocked - I'm a hairdresser now. ✂️ Available for appointments from the 4th.

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 12:04 +0000

fun reminder that beloved tech co. @cloudflare not only serves this website, but wrote a ~literal case study~ about it... https://t.co/aF2Imeichu

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Um... uh... the America First shirt looks kind of problematic. shop.donaldjtrump.com/products/ameri…

Miranda Yaver (@mirandayaver)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 20:50 +0000

nate parrott 🏄🏻‍♂️ (@nateparrott)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 03:51 +0000

"So how's 2020 been?" 🧵: 1/6

Rousseau Kazi (@rousseaukazi)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 03:03 +0000

https://twitter.com/Johnderonie/status/1278378784404602881

You’re a Karen

Ralski L. (@Ralbot7)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 17:34 +0000

stop. using. "guys". to refer to groups of humans. 😡

Black lives matter (@jaicesd)Thu, 02 Jul 2020 00:38 +0000

The Book of Horrors. I trained a machine learning algorithm on over 16,000 pages of the printed @Argos_Online catalog, then set it to work creating its own nightmarish book. Thread/ 👇 #GAN #MachineLearning

Chris Johnson (@defaced)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 07:41 +0000

Some of yall used to steal Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Steven Underwood (@blaqueword)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 15:16 +0000

https://twitter.com/aadriasola/status/1278336857604894723

ok

elsie d. soundsystem (@mountain_ghosts)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 14:38 +0000

today I learned that the redis default port number is a reference to an in-joke among the dev team where a certain woman's name is used to denote anything they consider stupid. anyway good riddance to the redis guy

elsie d. soundsystem (@mountain_ghosts)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 14:12 +0000

https://twitter.com/mountain_ghosts/status/1278330636772814848

programmers: it's just words shut up also programmers: let's sneak a coded sexist joke into a network address

elsie d. soundsystem (@mountain_ghosts)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 14:15 +0000

Passed probation today 😄🎉

Graham : A Star Wars Story (@whoisgraham)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 21:59 +0000

This happens at least once a week to me, and it is something to celebrate. I love having my children barge into my Zoom meetings and I love how my colleagues always handle it. @IAmCapitalOne

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“Mummy what's his name?” Dr Clare Wenham, we understand your struggles of working from home and looking after children 😂 bbc.co.uk/news

BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 15:55 +0000

Ben Morgan (@bmorg)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 19:34 +0000

I just accidentally opened UberEats a few hours after eating and it felt exactly like looking at PornHub when you've finished

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 21:35 +0000

https://t.co/oUJa3mp0C0

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'It's really hard to find maintainers': Linus Torvalds ponders the future of Linux reg.cx/32m0

The Register (@TheRegister)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 11:38 +0000

pegasi for police abolition (@stillinbeta)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 04:34 +0000

I thought github had dropped use of Master for Main (or something other than Master) - reported a week or so ago, and yet all my new projects _still_ use Master. Sad. I thought it was a step towards Better. Apparently just wind.

@rem (@rem)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 18:58 +0000

June’s over ??? Julying

rico (@Reformxd)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 13:45 +0000

My new favourite game is spotting the people who are clearly talking over slack during video calls. Big giveaway when two people start smiling simultaneously 🙂

Chris Evans (@evnsio)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 18:20 +0000

Not usually one for posting pictures of food but tonight's dinner is just too damn pretty 😍 Banana curry, which I learned to make when I was a waitress at El Piano in York when I was a student. It's the BEST 🍌🌶️🌿

Emma Seward (@MrsEmma)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 17:21 +0000

I need to manually alter about 80 blog posts. I reckon it'll take me at least 2 hours. ⋯ OR ⋯ I could spend ~4 hours trying to write a script to automate it. Choices, choices!

Terence Eden (@edent)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 15:35 +0000

idk who needs to hear this but double check what's on your desktop before you share your screen

Ali Spittel 🐞 (@ASpittel)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 16:58 +0000

bro I looked up how long the Black Plague lasted in an attempt to reassure myself about corona and that shit lasted 800 years are you for real 😭

Abby Govindan (@abbygov)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 13:27 +0000

https://twitter.com/mdgf_91/status/1277957105698234370

we don’t have vaccines or common sense in 2020 so see you in 800 years ig

Abby Govindan (@abbygov)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 13:28 +0000

To celebrate a full year of working from home, I decided that July would be me taking photos of my lunch. Nissin chicken cup of noodles with a poached egg and Japanese seasoning, plus orange/mango/peach black iced tea.

katemonkey (@katemonkey)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 11:53 +0000

Does any white techbro wanna trade places with me I’ll take your cushy salary and tame mentions and you can have my undercharged contracts, harassment on Twitter DMs, mentions, emails, and GitHub etc Don’t worry with all is time I’ll write hella tuts and shitpost

Tatiana Mac (@TatianaTMac)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 09:49 +0000

I just read a tweet that said that the *worst thing* you can do is to provide inaccurate or wrong information in a blog post. In the context of code, and on a high level, I can assure you that the world doesn't end if you write a blog post that has a mistake on it.

Ana Rodrigues (@ohhelloana)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 09:51 +0000

https://twitter.com/faiqus/status/1278172378875346944

haven't a CLUE

jacky doesn't fuck with YC or YG. 📟🇭🇹✊🏾 (@jackyalcine)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 03:44 +0000

odd question but: what are your most far fetched utopian ideas for fixing social media platforms? the stuff that’s likely never ever gonna happen

Charlie Warzel (@cwarzel)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 00:00 +0000

https://twitter.com/gob/status/1278135888648777728

We have the protocols already at indieweb.org

Kevin Marks (@kevinmarks)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 06:12 +0000

Here's a quick visual summary of what got us here:

Rishi Desai (@RishiDesaiMD)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 05:22 +0000

Do sharks play the harmonica like this or this

clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 01:29 +0000

Goldman Sachs published a detailed research report last night that estimated that a national face mask mandate in the US would save $1 TRILLION in further economic loss.

Chetan Puttagunta (@chetanp)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 03:51 +0000

Holy shitttt 😅 Might actually need to look into this at some point.

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EVERY ADULT: You talk too fast and you mumble, no one can understand what you're saying ME, AS A CHILD: It's because my thoughts are going faster than I can speak EVERY ADULT: Oh, it's because you're smart. ME, NOW, LEARNING ABOUT ADHD: Wait a minute....

Heschelian Absolutist (@JustSayXtian)Tue, 30 Jun 2020 00:16 +0000

Carol 😅 (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 08:44 +0000

Thank you to everyone that came along to listen & to the fabulous speakers at last night's #DevopsNotts - I really enjoyed myself, learned lots & have a long reading list to further educate myself on the subject ❤️ it was the second time I've talked and you were all so lovely! 🤗

Mica Bell (@MicaSophieBell)Wed, 01 Jul 2020 06:50 +0000