I wish someone had told me that being a Senior Engineer would involve so much reading and writing of docs. Nothing wrong with it but had I known I would have spent more of my earlier career becoming a better writer.

Jem Young ✊🏾 (@JemYoung)Tue, 04 Aug 2020 23:05 +0000

I’m engaged!! My fiancé and i met when he DMed me to correct the grammar in a tweet about my tits and I said leave me alone and then he messaged me back calling me a bitch

Hannah Boone (@boonecomedy)Mon, 03 Aug 2020 18:29 +0000

https://twitter.com/TatianaTMac/status/1290885587117854720

Yes, although it was worse than useless. It mostly covered intellectual property and was very pro-corporate. I wrote an essay slamming Equifax and got failed lol

Kat Maddox (@ctrlshifti)Wed, 05 Aug 2020 05:57 +0000

https://twitter.com/FarPixel/status/1290758057102802944

now you have to go to prison for one hundred years

Stuart Langridge (@sil)Tue, 04 Aug 2020 21:16 +0000

ICYMI. 🎙 This video, along with every graphic you’ve seen on here was created by @clarknarvas 💜 Yea, I know right. 🔥 instagram.com/p/CDby0WNAF7w/…

Pauline P. Narvas➖pawlean.com (@paulienuh)Mon, 03 Aug 2020 18:23 +0000

so amazing how my parents found each other even though they were from opposite ends of the eyebrow spectrum

a lesbian’s lesbian (@mitraskoura)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 18:26 +0000

I’ve been using @Cloudflare 1.1.1.1 DNS since it was released. Highly recommended! But I missed the announcement of 1.1.1.1 for Families. Block Malware: 1.1.1.2 Block Malware and Adult Content: 1.1.1.3 Everyone should switch from Google’s 8.8.8.8. blog.cloudflare.com/introducing-1-…

Timothy Hatcher (@xeenon)Mon, 03 Aug 2020 20:46 +0000

Don't forget to join us at @PHPMinds on Thursday 14th August to hear the fabulous @lornajane talk about "An Introduction to OpenAPI". 🤫There will also be an amazing book given away.

Bal Hayre (@balhayre)Mon, 03 Aug 2020 20:33 +0000

Can't tell if this was the best or dumbest thing I ever decided to do on tinder? Honestly might update it

Post details

This boy made a POWERPOINT for tinder and i can’t stop laughing

jaycie (@haugendazs)Sun, 29 Sep 2019 16:18 +0000

Chance Not a Rapper Man (@offbrand_chance)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 17:50 +0000

Pandemic baking: blueberry-rhubarb frangipane tart.

Ben Wolfe, PhD (@BenWolfeVision)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:17 +0000

50 years ago a child went up to mark zuckerberg and told him he wanted to be just like him one day. mark was so inspired he gave him $20 and told him to buy bitcoin. that child is bill gates.

Bo Lau (@bolau_)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 01:48 +0000

I always find it so strange to get business requests from gmail accounts. Buy a domain. Use your own custom email address.

Kelly Vaughn 🐞 (@kvlly)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 19:33 +0000

I'm in a bracket of "students who were too poor to pay for their education but now have a good job" - the bracket most punished by the government's student loans. I've been repaying for 3 years (hundreds of £ per month) and the balance hasn't gone down at all. It's messed up.

Kieran McHugh (@kieranmch)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 20:48 +0000

Don’t work with friends.

Lewis King (@lewisking)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 15:38 +0000

The number of times I've gone "ooh, someone's sent a slack message!" and then realised I just pushed a change to my blog and it's the automatic notification 🤦‍♂️

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 16:22 +0000

I’m so sorry twitter.com/zoetomalin/sta…

Post details

Make 👏 it 👏 socially 👏 acceptable 👏 to 👏 wear 👏 a 👏 plague 👏 doctor 👏 mask 👏 on 👏 the 👏 tube 👏

Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin)Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:50 GMT

Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 09:22 +0000

The Year 2020 as told by Arrested Development

1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 16:02 +0000

https://twitter.com/50FirstTates/status/1286686633052512256

me: [finally able to pet cat] my cat: [immediately licks clean the spot i just touched]

tatum (@50FirstTates)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 16:03 +0000

me: [just standing there] my cat: i will circle u rubbing my entire body on ur legs me: [reaches to pet cat] my cat: ʳ ᵘ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵏᶦᵈᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵐᵉ ᵘ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳ ʷʰᵒ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ᵘ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵐᵉ

tatum (@50FirstTates)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 15:36 +0000

https://twitter.com/50FirstTates/status/1286715314047197184

update: i pet my cat. he bit me and meowed until i attempted to pet him again. then he wouldn’t let me

tatum (@50FirstTates)Fri, 24 Jul 2020 23:37 +0000

Baran Ozmen (@brnzmn)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 17:44 +0000

I'd like to propose a new term that's like, the opposite of 'cleans up well' and I'm calling it 'grimes up good'. the epitome of this concept is Henry Cavill, who has all the sexuality of a lawful good water biscuit in a suit but could turn a nation if you grease him up a lil

Aos Sí (@MaxEMcMorrow)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 10:09 +0000

What is the sickest burn in the history of cinema Keeping in mind that it’s this

Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 16:54 +0000

Yesterday, for the first time in a while, I didn’t even turn my computer on. Please be proud of me 😅

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Sun, 02 Aug 2020 09:00 +0000

🐈 (@thesebosscats)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 16:26 +0000

Researching for a blog post and come across one that covers the same topic? Feel like abandoning your work because someone already published theirs? Keep writing. Publish your post. You're bringing your own voice and unique perspective to the conversation. We need your voice.

Kelly Vaughn 🐞 (@kvlly)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 18:30 +0000

Regarding banning TikTok: If we allow the president can ban TikTok, we allow them to ban any app... ...Including privacy and safety apps like Signal.

Tinker (@TinkerSec)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 15:43 +0000

genuinely very happy to announce that we have taken on a truly ridiculous amount of debt

eva wood #blm ☂️ (@EvaGiselle)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 01:05 +0000

This was Brighton beach today, but I wasn’t allowed to see my grandparents in Bradford for Eid al-Adha. Pathetic & insulting.

Aleesha (@a_leesha1)Fri, 31 Jul 2020 21:26 +0000

4 months into quarantine finally figured out the best angle for video calls

Tim Unkenholz (@timunken)Fri, 31 Jul 2020 22:32 +0000

Today I learned that the sentence "Why zip along quick, fam? Just relax and vibe" is an alternative to "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" that still uses every letter.

Laurie Voss (@seldo)Sat, 01 Aug 2020 00:33 +0000

hog’s vet said to keep an eye on his weight so this is his life once a week now

rax ‘🥩👋’ king (@RaxKingIsDead)Fri, 31 Jul 2020 20:55 +0000