I genuinely don’t know what I’m going to do when we finish Schitt’s Creek. Cry, probably. Then start again?

Sophie Koonin (@type__error)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 21:05 +0000

Something I've always wondered is, how did Batman become Batman? Did he have a mum and dad? What happened there?

Caspar Salmon (@CasparSalmon)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 14:04 +0000

do you think a dog knows he looks handsome when he wears a little bandanna

rax ‘oofnik’ king (@RaxKingIsDead)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 16:36 +0000

This also goes for "Blacks," "gays" etc

Post details

if you refer to transgender people as “transgenders” i automatically hate u

syd (@TYLERRPHOBIC)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 16:24 +0000

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 09:36 +0000

The only good thing that will come out of 2020 will be @jimmycarr hosting a 9 hour long episode of Big Fat Quiz of the Year.

Marcus Noble (@Marcus_Noble_)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 13:44 +0000

Same amount of spinach

Chris Albon (@chrisalbon)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 19:40 +0000

buying it from a homeless person wouldn’t really be very tweetable to be fair twitter.com/declanmckenna/…

Post details

covert operation

Declan McKenna (@DeclanMcKenna)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 11:07 +0000

Matt 😼 (@matthewherod)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 11:42 +0000

Stumbled into a website tonight called UberBeats that I didn’t think was real, but I signed up anyway. 2.5 hrs later I get a surprise text! A DJ wearing a branded UberBeats mask pulls up in a car, smoke machine in their trunk, and plays a ~10m set. Best pandemic dance party. 🎵💖

Danielle Baskin (@djbaskin)Sun, 23 Aug 2020 07:10 +0000

Look how thrilled Mabel is to be here 😂 I LOVE HER

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 16:15 +0000

Had the displeasure of getting caught up in a racist biker gang protest in Nottingham today. Never encountered such small dick energy in my life. OoOoOoOo revving ur big bike at me are ya, ya big bald cunt

Nikki O (@reverendnikki)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 13:27 +0000

abandoned monuments of yugoslavia

g̶̫̳̭͒͐̂l̸̡͚̿̕̚i̴̗̓̃ț̸̱̈́͒́ͅc̷̺̪̠̋ḣ̴͚̖̏͛ (@dollydemonica)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 02:23 +0000

Nobody told me prerecording talks was this stressful 😭

Sophie Koonin (@type__error)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 17:38 +0000

if you text me "we need to talk" i'm gonna reply "yes we do" now we both stressed

T’A🕊 (@tfcarter09)Sun, 16 Aug 2020 13:43 +0000

my socks say “eat shit” (thanks @gf3)

jenn (@jennschiffer)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 22:06 +0000

I just rang IT help desk to order a new mouse because the one in the office isn’t working.... Turns out it’s a whiteboard cleaner. How’s your friday night going? #Team999 #Nightshift

Nick The SOM (@ScotAmbSOM_Nick)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 18:37 +0000

https://twitter.com/natfriedman/status/1297177104182702080

Vim

Petros Amiridis (@amiridis)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 14:26 +0000

https://twitter.com/natfriedman/status/1297177104182702080

any software not working with ICE

Penelope literally has no balls (@penelope_zone)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 14:22 +0000

What was once a funny meme is just now four moods leaving the house during covid.

TorAthena (@TorAthena)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 10:07 +0000

Although their ‘Kill all Humans’ policy is, of course, troubling, I can’t help but admire the Daleks’ flawless social distancing.

Marshall Julius (@MarshallJulius)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 10:53 +0000

https://twitter.com/Tnfp3/status/1296863335665860609

you shouldn’t be a parent☺️❤️

Lilly Loves Erin Hannon (@nerdloser69)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 07:09 +0000

https://twitter.com/DANlEL7/status/1296566010200363013

probably same girls who think other girls with onlyfans don’t deserve respect either. whole mentality to shame men or women for doing sex work is pathetic

ً (@cremijeur)Thu, 20 Aug 2020 21:56 +0000

Perfectly Cut Shots (@PerfectlyShots)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 03:04 +0000

when you just wanna do your zoom call but your cat wants to start an onlyfans

Living Morganism 🌱 (@ok_girlfriend)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 17:27 +0000

I did it! I migrated my blog to my own website 🥳 and I wrote a blog post on how I did it (using Eleventy) elletownsend.co.uk/blog/posts/blo…

Elle Townsend🌸 (@_elletownsend)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 09:28 +0000

This video of pandas just being pandas while a zookeeper desperately tries to rake leaves is the best video on the internet youtube.com/watch?v=R2uiy2…

Kyle Hill (@Sci_Phile)Wed, 19 Aug 2020 21:37 +0000

what if humanity survives and people in 1000 years make memes of us the same way we make medieval memes today

Kat Maddox (@ctrlshifti)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 02:54 +0000

https://twitter.com/ctrlshifti/status/1297004363299217408

"Honey it's almost been one sun rotation! Time to spend all our Economy Points on the little people we made but don't even like" "Yes, socially-obligated broodmate"

Kat Maddox (@ctrlshifti)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 03:11 +0000

https://twitter.com/ctrlshifti/status/1297004139243810816

another prediction

Kat Maddox (@ctrlshifti)Sat, 22 Aug 2020 02:55 +0000

PITCH: "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" but the contestants are billionaires so it's more of a threat.

John-Luke Roberts 🥕 (@jlukeroberts)Fri, 21 Aug 2020 13:50 +0000