mmddyyyy or ddmmyyyy? 7 months of Police investigation . . . and . . . "oops" english.elpais.com/spanish_news/2…

Paul Brannigan (@proactivepaul)Sun, 13 Sep 2020 18:19 +0000

Ben Halpern 🌱 (@bendhalpern)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 22:40 +0000

watched charlies angels (2000) last night and the thing they’re trying to stop from happening is ... our cellphones being able to track us wherever we are

Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 23:55 +0000

Happy Birthday @rem 🎉🎂🎁🎈

Julie Sharp (@Julieanne)Sun, 13 Sep 2020 10:09 +0000

CEO: i want a high performance culture, like Netflix - ok well first you’re going to need to fire half your current staff, and then double the salaries for the ones you keep CEO: haha ok ok well i can’t do that, what’s the rest of it? - what do you mean, the rest of it?

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“No Rules Rules” and “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”: two books that give a simple roadmap to a dramatically improved quality of life, and 99.9% of readers decide after the first chapter that step 1 is too painful but they keep reading because it’s fun to dream.

Zack Kanter (@zackkanter)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 23:51 +0000

Zack Kanter (@zackkanter)Sun, 13 Sep 2020 00:23 +0000

a series of fortunate events

alyssa! (@lyssachanel)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 19:17 +0000

I've been using Homebrew for macos for what feels like forever now and I still have no clue whatsoever what a "keg", "cask", or "cellar" are.

Michael Jackson (@mjackson)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 17:41 +0000

New evidence suggests that the Dunning-Kruger effect doesn't exist - people who don't know what they're talking about are aware of that fact.

Quite Interesting (@qikipedia)Sun, 13 Sep 2020 11:00 +0000

math notations explained🤦‍♀️ = equals =/= not equals < left > right ! LOUD NUMBER ~ worm π stonehenge √ right answer x wrong answer ⋯ soon… ∮ what Exactly the fuck ∝ fish ∞ fish with 2 heads ↯ lightning :⇔ he Scream

Math Lady Hazel 🇦🇷 (@mathladyhazel)Sun, 13 Sep 2020 03:30 +0000

Apparently refusing to speak at a conference because they are hosting someone who's been actively problematic for literal years is tortious interference against the problematic speaker? Lol okay, buddy.

Kat Cosgrove's DevOps and Thirst Traps Emporium 🍑 (@Dixie3Flatline)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 23:37 +0000

If I were Uncle Bob, I would simply shut the fuck up

Matthew Garrett (@mjg59)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 22:58 +0000

— thread of celebrities who dated minors, (or predatory age gap) • don’t become offensive if your fav is here, it’s embarrassing

ouma (@peakybIynders)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 19:51 +0000

i think it‘s wild that google thinks js libraries get big because js authors are lazy arrogant idiots and not because libraries are being built by volunteers with 2000 random contributors and no product roadmap

ashley williams (@ag_dubs)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 13:54 +0000

https://twitter.com/freezydorito/status/1304866464982237184

imagine if they put the same effort into centralizing third party js libraries than they put into centralizing the content of news websites in the search results page

laura calabazas (@freezydorito)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 19:37 +0000

https://twitter.com/seldo/status/1304637603518361600

Took me a second for it to click that this wasn’t about multi-factor authentication

Kev Kitchens 🌈 (@kitchens_sync)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 04:28 +0000

Took a quick break from playing VR and Mollie reminded me that now is sitting down time

Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 19:57 +0000

Living my best third grader life

Denise Yu (@deniseyu21)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 16:24 +0000

Me: Please move your MacBook out of the way before opening the prosecco Housemate: (Opens Prosecco which explodes all over her MacBook and iphone) Me: What a waste 😩

Olivia Campbell (@oecampbell)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 21:57 +0000

oomfs just raised the bar for shooting ones shot. look at this masterpiece that made its way to my DMs

Kendall Pennington (@Kenny___Rose)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 23:05 +0000

https://twitter.com/jackyalcine/status/1304795705211408384

Like I'm good. Having two friends catch COVID and now two people I know die from it, I'm not risking my life or encouraging ANYONE else to do so - especially for a movie.

Iron Man Thee Nigga Nerd (@jackyalcine)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 14:56 +0000

I read this and now I cant stop thinking about it.

VividVivka - new FREE OnlyFans (@VividVivka)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 06:30 +0000

STEM stands for Stop, There’s Enough Men

Clara R (@ramencult)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 21:14 +0000

I can tell I’ve not been coding much at work when I open vs code and try to open a file with cmd + k (quick switcher on slack) 💀💀

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 12:19 +0000

I don't often unblock people, but when I do...

Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:02 +0000

real fucked up that on the same newspaper front pages theres ppl who video their grandpa across the street and haven seen each other in person for a year and ppl angry bc they had to cut their family hols in cyprus two days short

laura calabazas (@freezydorito)Sat, 12 Sep 2020 08:40 +0000

modern web dev is an extreme overreaction to not liking some php

Scott Jehl (@scottjehl)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 22:01 +0000

Me: nature is intricate, so complex & delicately balanced. It is beauty. it is wonder. We should all bathe in its exquisiteness Also me: hahaha fungus looks like balls

Lucy Lapwing (@Lucy_Lapwing)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 07:29 +0000

“Put dat damn mask on”

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😭🤣

-VÉNOM- (@anthonysarti11)Thu, 10 Sep 2020 15:22 +0000

JAY⚡️ (@iDaddyJay)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 00:14 +0000

images that might be cursed (@mightbecursed)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 21:02 +0000

me after I submit my PRs:

christina zhu (@cszhu)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 16:38 +0000

Ok I’m stoned but this seems like a good idea: what if there was an app that both you and your partner have where you both swipe right or left on movies that are on your streaming services and when you find a match it lets you know

c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 04:06 +0000

I am astonished - look what the GOV.UK team did for my last day! 🥺💖

Issy Long (@issyl0)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 10:47 +0000

https://twitter.com/Hbomberguy/status/1304249665303515139

Ted Cruz 9/11 cum tribute

findom earle 🚽 IBS rights (@coherentstates)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 02:48 +0000

who is this

luka big pants (@LukaBigPants)Wed, 09 Sep 2020 04:43 +0000

On call when someone decides it's fine to release on a Friday...

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who is this

luka big pants (@LukaBigPants)Wed, 09 Sep 2020 04:43 +0000

Tanja Lichtensteiger (@grappleshark)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 06:46 +0000

Lmao just reopened Twitter in the browser and this half-finished tweet was sitting there and if this isn't a whole ADHD mood

Kate is cake. Always has been. (@SBinLondon)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 11:19 +0000

Just watched the Season 7 finale of GoT last night for the first time GIF sums it up nicely 😂

Ed George (@Sp4ghettiCode)Fri, 11 Sep 2020 13:31 +0000

I hope every time @github has an outage I hope they think about the amazing SREs they lost because of a 6-figure contract with literal fascists

pegasi for police abolition (@stillinbeta)Thu, 10 Sep 2020 20:06 +0000

Reminder that this is a real image

Ninja (@NinjaStarHere)Thu, 10 Sep 2020 23:52 +0000