Oh my god I just won an iPhone 11 from work. What a god tier day.

Andrew (@Chagrilled)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 16:39 GMT

“You can’t stop the work.” Season 6 is a go.

The Expanse (@ExpanseOnPrime)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 17:00 GMT

The Winter Express is pulling back into the station for the return of Holo-Day Bash! Join the festivities Dec 1. 🚂❄

Apex Legends (@PlayApex)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 16:03 GMT

My management style consists mostly of telling folks to delete Teams from their phones and go away when on vacation

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Mon, 23 Nov 2020 21:24 GMT

£29 million for a Festival of Brexit. Hmmm. Remind me again, how much did the government need to spend in order to ensure impoverished children had enough food? £24 million was it? Interesting. Did I say ‘interesting’? I meant to say ‘What a bunch of cunts.’

Jonathan Pie (@JonathanPieNews)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 10:46 GMT

WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 01:08 GMT

Wait for it. can’t. stop. laughing...🤣😭🤣

Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman)Mon, 23 Nov 2020 03:41 GMT

For some reason when people see my shell prompt they get really mad

Randall Munroe (@xkcd)Mon, 23 Nov 2020 21:05 GMT

I'd like to apologize to everyone for creating a nationwide potato shortage by ordering a "small" side of fries at Five Guys.

H̶͢͝T̨T̸̕͢P̴̕͠ ̕͠Lo̡͡v̸̷͢è̡͢ç̶raf̕t̨͜ (@HTTP_Lovecraft)Mon, 23 Nov 2020 21:40 GMT

the only good thing I saw on the Internet today

Russy KGB (@RussellHFilm)Mon, 23 Nov 2020 03:16 GMT

With the return of Rule of 6.. at least this will be easier to remember this year: Partridge in a pear tree 2 turtle doves 3 French Hens 4 Calling birds 5 GOOLD RIIINGS 6 Geese a laying 6 Swans swimming 6 Maids milking 6 drummers drumming 6 pipers piping 6 lords leaping

Harvey Hawkins (@harvhawkscomedy)Mon, 23 Nov 2020 16:51 GMT

chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing

cass (@cassthevirgin)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 19:48 GMT

Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 19:35 GMT

listening to mando trying to explain the red vs blue wire to not baby yoda gives me anxiety filled flashbacks from my tech support days.

Whitney Champion 🍪 (@shortxstack)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 03:31 GMT

This Thursday we have a talk by @edent “The (connected) house of horrors” ! We fill our homes, life and bodies with internet connected devices. But do we really understand the dangers which lurk inside them?

HackSoc Nottingham (@hacksocnotts)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 15:43 GMT

https://twitter.com/jna_sh/status/1330523058591895552

The best bit is that this is a completely anonymised subtweet because this is EVERY tech CEO’s marketing plan

Joe (@jna_sh)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 14:49 GMT

Shout out to the worst 6 months of my professional life where a CEO relentlessly ground down a team of talented people because his “marketing plan” was to get #1 on Hacker News twitter.com/jasminexeth/st…

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I don’t know who needs to hear this but...... “You don’t need to go viral. You need a marketing plan...”

A Tech Head 🌎 (@jasminexETH)Thu, 29 Oct 2020 14:26 GMT

Joe (@jna_sh)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 14:46 GMT

HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN HIMSELF

Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 22:42 GMT

Adjusted the #elePHPant display so they’re on top of Hylas’ tank!

Matt Brunt (@Brunty)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 13:53 GMT

“we have guests go get the fancy cups”

sam (@Celona100k)Fri, 20 Nov 2020 22:28 GMT

Seeing a guy for 4 months, found out tonight he has a girlfriend of 10 years and a 7 years old kid (that I didn’t know about), bearing in mind he’s taken me to meet his mum 3 times and SHE KNEW AND LIED TO ME TOO, you couldn’t fucking write my life

Abi (@AbigailSwift2)Fri, 20 Nov 2020 20:50 GMT

today i offer you two cats in pants

eʀɪᴄᴋᴀ (@Erickajamon)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 17:03 GMT

The only two cat personalities that exist

Animals Being Jerks (@MeanAnimals)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 20:05 GMT

You clearly needed a cat video 😽

Sasha Rosenbaum (@DivineOps)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 04:17 GMT

if you knew me before my 20s, you never actually knew me. you knew season 1 me. we were severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot.

Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne)Sun, 22 Nov 2020 01:18 GMT

People keep asking me how I went from 143 followers to 150 in just 6 months. Let me tell you it has been a journey. A thread 👇

Steve Lamar (@StevejLamar)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 13:09 GMT

Christmas is so important to me. My family is so important to me. December the 25th is … not important. We'll celebrate on Dec 25th via video if necessary and will have Christmas in person on whatever date it is safe to do so.

Louise Paling (@short_louise)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 17:28 GMT

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1330197904905154560

SPIDER-CAT

Matt Brunt (@Brunty)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 17:20 GMT

🎶do you see what i see?🎶 twitter.com/bymikebaker/st…

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Good morning. Here's an endless-loop gallery of A.I.-generated people. There's a lot more to explore in this interactive article, which is one of the most remarkable pieces of digital journalism I've ever seen: nytimes.com/interactive/20…

Mike Baker (@ByMikeBaker)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 16:21 GMT

EricaJoy (@EricaJoy)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 16:43 GMT

Oh no why did the timeline tell me about @BigTechAlert, I am not responsible enough to handle this amount of visible CEO pettiness. Relatedly, I guess the GitHub acquisition is truly complete now Satya has dumped the ex-CEO for the brand account 😂

Joe (@jna_sh)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 09:27 GMT

RT @prafxis the original "fleet" was when you get a glimpse of a good tweet on your timeline and then it gets auto-refreshed out of existence

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 13:27 GMT

My husband asked me if I wanted hot chocolate and then he brought me this 😍

Ashley Willis (McNamara) (@ashleymcnamara)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 03:35 GMT

This evening, after five and a skosh years, I hung up my apron and toque at Chef. 👨🏼‍🍳💞 Next week I am excited to be donning a hat, veil, and jacket to take up beekeeping at Honeycomb. 🐝🍯

Robb Kidd (@robbkidd)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 03:45 GMT

I am sick of people wondering if it's possible to survive Christmas in lockdown when so many Hindus in the UK have survived Diwali, Navratri, Janmashtmi and so many Muslims have survived Eid and Ramadan. Why are we STILL talking about this?

Parle Patel (@planetParle)Thu, 19 Nov 2020 14:02 GMT

Why does anyone in the Star Wars universe EVER right a speeder bike? They've just lost the will to live?

James S.A. Corey (@JamesSACorey)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 02:45 GMT

daily standup is the original "stories"

sid 🖤 (@siddharthkp)Fri, 20 Nov 2020 13:44 GMT