Ooh this just arrived 😍

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Mon, 30 Nov 2020 10:55 GMT

💀 *stares directly into the camera*

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bosses be like "this isnt just a job, it's a family and we genuinely care about u" then start ur salary at $7.35 an hour

first-mate prance (@bocxtop)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 01:42 GMT

rizwana akmal khan (@rizbizkits)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 23:12 GMT

https://twitter.com/alicegoldfuss/status/1333157616868937728

I often get held up as an "anyone can excel in tech!" example, and yes it's *possible* but it's certainly not probable there are plenty of people like me who don't get the chance or burn out from abuse

mechanical turkey (@alicegoldfuss)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 21:26 GMT

cats (@ohkitties)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 05:21 GMT

Hmm I don’t see this ending well

pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 09:40 GMT

did you know you can put your dog in a lobster costume anytime you want

rax ‘adriana la cerva's IBD’ king (@RaxKingIsDead)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 23:49 GMT

Lot of armchair quarterbacking about the AWS/Cloudflare outages. I never comment on outages because, frankly, "the internet" is a Rube Goldberg machine, built on buckets of tears and non-obvious (and often non-technical) constraints. It's a miracle it works 1% as well as it does.

Matt Klein (@mattklein123)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 21:25 GMT

I have my Dutch residence permit!!

Joe (@jna_sh)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 14:27 GMT

“send a fleet!!” thanks twitter but unless the gods give me a hot wife and someone lures her off to Troy I think tf I will not

Ashley Shuttleworth (they/them) (@PaperAshes)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 03:38 GMT

Ppl dont fake depression they fake being ok...remember that

Doryyy 🍀 (@dollasigndoryyy)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 21:47 GMT

The Expanse No Context (@ExpanseNContext)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 00:58 GMT

Every night I say "good night, Alexa" just so she'll say "okay" and I can feel like I'm in a failing marriage

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Sun, 29 Nov 2020 02:28 GMT

Trump campaign spent $3 million dollars to get Biden 132 more votes in Wisconsin recount

Daniel Uhlfelder (@DWUhlfelderLaw)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 02:48 GMT

Late 1960s: “We will build a distributed global network so that if a single node is destroyed by a nuclear attack, the network is unaffected.” 2020: us-east-1 is down so you can’t turn on your oven.

Chris Albon (@chrisalbon)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 23:00 GMT

I felt bad making this it was too easy. Totally made up company btw let's call it Boincase

Emily (@EmilyKager)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 18:43 GMT

Will today be the day I gather the energy to finish redoing my site? Probably not, but stay tuned and find out 😉

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 11:27 GMT

I want to be on panel of women in tech where the fact that we're women in tech isn't the whole point of the conversation

Kat Cosgrove, but ✨festive✨ (@Dixie3Flatline)Sat, 28 Nov 2020 04:28 GMT

I mean, the 1st mistake @coinbase made was not taking/running w/ my idea to form a #womenintech bitcoin meetup group called "CoinBaes", tbh 🙄

Chloe Condon 🎀 (@ChloeCondon)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 21:57 GMT

Bro why😭

Monkey D. Bam (@The25thBam_)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 23:20 GMT

shared without comment

Ian Coldwater 📦💥 (@IanColdwater)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 06:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/JimmyGriffiths6/status/1316712879106797568

Have you considered making friends like normal people do

none of y'all are seeing Olam HaBa (@BitchCaliban)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 16:20 GMT

https://twitter.com/TommyAdams/status/1316351617579581442

"this tree in this lady's front yard I can scale to see into her bedroom window is a beautiful thing, please don't ruin it!"

none of y'all are seeing Olam HaBa (@BitchCaliban)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 16:19 GMT

I'm one "hi" message away from closing my laptop

Pauline P. Narvas➖pawlean.com (@paulienuh)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 09:52 GMT

I tell my cat “I know” whenever she meows but I’m gonna be honest, I have no fucking idea

MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau)Thu, 26 Nov 2020 16:58 GMT

I'm buying this

Out of Context Pokemon (@OoCPokemon)Fri, 27 Nov 2020 00:24 GMT

And yet a bunch of colonizers spreading a virus before eating a ton of food is probably the most historically-consistent version of Thanksgiving that we've done.

Kristen Seversky (@KR1573N)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 06:30 GMT

everybody in America thinks they could one day become a billionaire but nobody thinks they could get covid

ellory smith (@ellorysmith)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 18:47 GMT

💀

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Story of my life:

Daniel Salinas Córdova (@DanielSalinas00)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:54 GMT

rizwana akmal khan (@rizbizkits)Thu, 26 Nov 2020 11:11 GMT

My fucking doorbell doesn't work because AWS us-east-1 is having issues 🤦🏿‍♂️

SJP (ಠ_ಠ) (@SJP1804)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 16:58 GMT

I don't want kids, never have, and was gutted when I found out I was pregnant a few years back. The miscarriage I went on to have was ABSOLUTELY devastating, so I can't even imagine how it feels when the baby was deeply wanted. Be kind, please.

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 22:28 GMT

Next week's keynote will feature no new @awscloud services, they'll just turn us-east-1 back on. #reInvent

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 22:55 GMT

Welcome to the future

Dare Obasanjo (@Carnage4Life)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 21:14 GMT

Meghan Markle won't see the all of the nasty shit you write about her but your friends who have experienced miscarriages and the loss of a baby will.

Paisley Thomson (@PaisleyThomson)Wed, 25 Nov 2020 13:25 GMT

I was tempted too 🤶 twitter.com/sarahspain/sta…

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I'm tempted, y'all...

Sarah Spain (@SarahSpain)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 22:46 GMT

Farrah (@FarrahC32)Tue, 24 Nov 2020 23:48 GMT