Men only want one thing and it's the Baudelaire fortune

SparkNotes (@SparkNotes)Thu, 27 May 2021 20:39 +0000

First they wasted our energy Then they wasted our storage Now they want to waste our net connections If you're still defending cryptocurrency, you're either immoral, or a moron

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well, they finally did it. pkt.cash 🤮

Aaron A. Glenn (@networkservice)Thu, 27 May 2021 18:18 +0000

Dr Anthony, Eng, of course 💉 (@ofcAnthony)Thu, 27 May 2021 22:03 +0000

https://twitter.com/CarolSaysThings/status/1398201115423002629

Defo 1 🤣

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Fri, 28 May 2021 08:56 +0000

Explaining how “senior” is an overloaded title in tech to my husband and he’s annoyed just knowing about it 😂

Laurie (@laurieontech)Thu, 27 May 2021 22:56 +0000

if i made you this millennium falcon charcuterie board would you fall in love w me (please say yes)

e·mo·tion side b (@aubrionna)Fri, 28 May 2021 04:00 +0000

i dont tweet serious things but someone i loved died terribly because matt hancock pretended he was shielding carehomes, we knew he hadn't at the time and just wanted to say he and the rest of the tories are wet sacks of shit ❤️

Stevie Martin (@5tevieM)Thu, 27 May 2021 12:12 +0000

https://twitter.com/holly/status/1397916478993694724

It used to belong to Felix Dennis of Dennis Publishing. He had a big thing about trees which might explain all the wood

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Thu, 27 May 2021 14:08 +0000

DOES ANYONE HAVE £4m SPARE LOOK AT THE PHOTOS 😭 rightmove.co.uk/properties/107…

Holly Brockwell (@holly)Thu, 27 May 2021 14:03 +0000

Ok first day back in the office, serious question: How did we do this before? Like just sit around holding our farts in. Madness.

Joe Hart 🏳️‍🌈 (@JoeHart)Thu, 27 May 2021 13:22 +0000

A lady just came up to me and said “Speak English, we are in San Diego.” So I politely responded by asking her “how do I say ‘San Diego’ in English?” The look of bewilderment on her face made it feel like a Friday.

Da(Y)go Brown (@ArtyCurry)Wed, 26 May 2021 17:31 +0000

Why yes, I'm into cis men, and by cis men I mean femboys, and by femboys I mean I give them two months max before they start the girl pills

Xan (@ComicsByXan)Thu, 27 May 2021 04:30 +0000

I felt this twitter.com/ginnyghezzo/st…

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I fantasize about retiring ... to write code

Ginny Ghezzo (@GinnyGhezzo)Wed, 26 May 2021 18:22 +0000

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Thu, 27 May 2021 06:31 +0000

I fantasize about retiring ... to write code

Ginny Ghezzo (@GinnyGhezzo)Wed, 26 May 2021 18:22 +0000

Real talk: when/if I start my own company, we're trying out a 4 day workweek. Why? Because when folks are overworked, they lack the perspective and innovation that a rested person has. I believe we create busywork that fills up time without a decent break.

Sarah Drasner (@sarah_edo)Wed, 26 May 2021 20:56 +0000

It isn’t “crackers “ that men like Cummings and Johnson are in rooms of power, with white women supporting them It is systems of white supremacy working exactly as they are intended to Remember that

Stella (@RisuToInu)Thu, 27 May 2021 05:38 +0000

Elasticsearch relicensing, Freenode implosion, utter lack of FSF accountability: I hope folks are noticing the same pattern I am. Governance is an important factor in risk assessment. How resources are stewarded matters.

Josh Simmons (@joshsimmons)Wed, 26 May 2021 18:48 +0000

I have done it. My profile banner now shows my latest 3 followers! Update every 60 secs. Nope, unfollow and follow again won't work, sorry 😂

Tony Dinh 🎯 (@tdinh_me)Wed, 26 May 2021 15:50 +0000

I sometimes forget that making friends is easy for others and therefore not something they will be particularly invested in.

Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Wed, 26 May 2021 09:17 +0000

A Senior Apple Engineer I look up to and respect told me he pair programs every week to work through his problems. Ngl this broke my brain. He's one of the best engineers I know. We're conditioned to think asking for help means you're junior. Time to normalize this.

Novall Swift (@NovallSwift)Wed, 26 May 2021 01:52 +0000

"People bring their kids to Pride!" they also bring them to Comic Con but Slave Leia costumes are different, right?

bletchley punk (@alicegoldfuss)Tue, 25 May 2021 21:28 +0000

if we really want to protect kids from sexuality let's start with straight men who've felt entitled to share their opinions about my body and what they'd like to do with it starting when I was 11

j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster)Tue, 25 May 2021 23:41 +0000

On the advice of my doctor, I'm going to be taking some time away from work for health reasons. Constituents should continue to contact my office as normal - my staff will be there to assist you. My full statement is below.

Nadia Whittome MP (@NadiaWhittomeMP)Tue, 25 May 2021 06:55 +0000

I’m not gonna pretend to know anything about crypto but I do know that all my most unreliable friends whose advice I follow the opposite of are very very into it

Chris Fleming (@chrisfluming)Tue, 25 May 2021 00:22 +0000

I got my first vaccine today! Go science! 🌟💉🥳✌🏼

Carol 🌻 (@CarolSaysThings)Tue, 25 May 2021 20:35 +0000

Have YOU been racist on a night out recently? Don't worry - INR Insurers are here to help. 🥴🙋🏼

Munya Chawawa (@munyachawawa)Tue, 25 May 2021 19:15 +0000

When they ask you to fix the tests

Joe Previte (@jsjoeio)Tue, 25 May 2021 17:52 +0000

writing a self review is the hard to do when you're feeling burnt out

🖤devon🖤 (@devonbl)Tue, 25 May 2021 01:09 +0000