https://twitter.com/no_goblins/status/1475971465812062210

I hate it when they ask like they don't believe you. you're my doctor. I have zero reason to lie to you about being a lonely loser. or when they're like "is there any chance you're pregnant". not unless it's Jesus Jr.

SJ Warlock, PhD ☃️🌲 (@sjwarlock)Wed, 29 Dec 2021 04:22 GMT

https://twitter.com/no_goblins/status/1475971465812062210

Telling the doctor "ask your mom" to assert dominance and get didgnosed as sick AF

Pyramid Chad, Marxist-Silent-Hillenist (@chadpencil)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:29 GMT

https://twitter.com/no_goblins/status/1475971465812062210

maybe if you stopped discriminating against us goblins and just gave us a chance then maybe you'd finally meet a nice 2.5ft tall green little man who would totally not steal all the precious trinkets from your bedroom and then ghost you for a dragon with a danker lair

Hemohobgoblin (@hemohobgoblin)Wed, 29 Dec 2021 05:04 GMT

https://twitter.com/biboofficial/status/1475972673163259904

Bro..... have a mf heart doc

taddy mason (@no_goblins)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:32 GMT

https://twitter.com/no_goblins/status/1475971465812062210

had to answer this 3 separate times when I went to the doctor last. I was like im already depressed why are u doing this to me

bibo (@biboofficial)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:31 GMT

You know how fuckin embarrassing it is to tell your doctor that you're not sexually active

taddy mason (@no_goblins)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:26 GMT

Shoutout to Erika, fine print free game 🤍

sza’s lost album (@breeashhh)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 15:39 GMT

how to become a tech twitter influencer in five easy steps! 1. be relatable 2. keep a regular posting schedule 3. engage with your followers 4. use your newfound influence to get a position at the racist planet-burning company 5. go on podcasts!

Kat Maddox (@ctrlshifti)Wed, 29 Dec 2021 07:03 GMT

https://twitter.com/TheEconomist/status/1475759750310731781

This is no time for jokes, there’s a headline writer stuck in the Economist’s offices.

Bower Power (@So_Truculent)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 11:30 GMT

I am begging you to think for a moment about your experience of using doors twitter.com/theeconomist/s…

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The pandemic is like a doorway. Once you pass through, there is no going back econ.st/3DZ5DFK

The Economist (@TheEconomist)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 09:25 GMT

Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 22:22 GMT

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

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Pope Francis reveals 3 key words for every successful marriage trib.al/tX9rpGa

New York Post (@nypost)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 13:40 GMT

violet valentine (@slutpilled)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 18:58 GMT

Death to 2021 is now streaming!

Netflix Is A Joke (@NetflixIsAJoke)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 22:51 GMT

I've finally done the switch from Chromium to #Firefox as my daily driver and I couldn't be happier. It is such an important #OpenSource project and it needs your support, too. mozilla.org/firefox/

Friends (@ffraenz)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 10:37 GMT

me the biden administration 🤝 I give up

ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 01:38 GMT

The New Year A first date 🤝 Going into it with comically low expectations but counting on lots of cocktails & a good story

Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 20:49 GMT

I see we're back to the "let people die as blood sacrifices to 'the economy'" phase of the pandemic.

High King Pilnok (@Pilnok)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:59 GMT

Biden_No_Federal_Solution.mp4

Isaac (@GalaxyPeaBrain)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 17:37 GMT

Who was it originally who said that the problem with story points is that people think that they're numbers instead of recognizing them as names of estimation ranges?

"Agile Otter" Tim Ottinger (@tottinge)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 17:03 GMT

Story points are like spice levels at a restaurant. Sure, they present as numbers but they are more like labels than actual numbers.

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Who was it originally who said that the problem with story points is that people think that they're numbers instead of recognizing them as names of estimation ranges?

"Agile Otter" Tim Ottinger (@tottinge)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 17:03 GMT

Daniil Marchenko (@sonofhammer)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 17:32 GMT

Profile updated! For those who missed it... From the end of January 2022, I'm really excited to be joining up with @DevOpsDerek @TechieLass and @_AlexYates_ as a Senior Solutions Architect at the awesome @OctopusDeploy! Wahoo! #NewYearNewJob

Pete Gallagher - Azure #MVPBuzz (@pete_codes)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 17:35 GMT

Here's a calculation about the CDC that I'm not sure many people have made so here we go, I hope this helps. The CDC's job is not to keep *you* alive. The CDC's job is simply to keep enough people alive that the country doesn't go extinct.

Kate Taggart (@qkate)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:46 GMT

https://twitter.com/qkate/status/1475870672102440966

From the beginning of the pandemic, I've made a point of being a bit more cautious than the CDC's guidelines, not just bc I'm in a medically vulnerable group, but because my motivations (keep myself alive) and the CDC's (keep enough Americans alive, with Kate or not) don't match.

Kate Taggart (@qkate)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:47 GMT

Reminder: Zuckerberg actually formed a fake business designed to trick Hawaiians into selling their land to him by making them think they were selling it to a Hawaiian owned farm, when in reality there was no farm and they were selling the land to a fucking haole.

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.@Facebook founder buys more #Kauai land, including Ka Loko Reservoir 808ne.ws/3eq7mtf

Star-Advertiser (@StarAdvertiser)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 19:30 GMT

Keggoat (@bawleon)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 15:33 GMT

Everyone should have a dog so when introverts visit they have something to do. Puppies are especially welcome.

Vic 🌮 (@VicVijayakumar)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 00:42 GMT

log4j is that annoying sibling that won't stop poking you no matter how much you protest

Molly Struve 🦄 (@molly_struve)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:53 GMT

🎄🐈🕹📺 Thomas “Get Your Booster” Fuchs (@thomasfuchs)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:30 GMT

So @robinjayasinghe raised a good question, why aren't there artisanal, high-quality customizable trackballs like mechanical keyboards?

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🎄🐈🕹📺 Thomas “Get Your Booster” Fuchs (@thomasfuchs)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:30 GMT

🎄🐈🕹📺 Thomas “Get Your Booster” Fuchs (@thomasfuchs)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:45 GMT

I never realized how lucky I was to not have to deal with log4j until I tried to make a joke about it to my boyfriend over the holidays and he looked like he was about to cry 😟

Serra Abak (@serraabak)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 16:00 GMT

Here’s the “lesser evil” heading to his beach house after showing the country he’s abandoning that there’s absolutely no point for him to be in office or for the presidency to exist.

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NOW - Biden departs to Delaware beach house after telling governors there is "no federal solution" on COVID and it should be "solved at the state level."

Disclose.tv (@disclosetv)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 18:48 GMT

Coll is Colling 💅🏻 (@BookSyrup)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 15:05 GMT

As an adult, when I want to learn something, I take on a related project with a goal I care about and go find the answer to my questions on it every step of the way. This feels clearly like the best way to learn, and I don't understand why basically all of school isn't like this

Aella (@Aella_Girl)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 01:26 GMT

We don’t talk about how much damage anti-Nuclear hippies of the 70s did to the earth.

Sean (@dukakis_poster)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 05:00 GMT

Stumbled across this picture from a Spartan race I did years ago and I’m still mildly obsessed with it.

Taylor Poindexter (@engineering_bae)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 01:43 GMT

Unpacking trauma stickers are finally here ✨👏 Word is they help you heal the past, don’t miss your chance to grab one! etsy.com/KefiStore/list…

Cake is Kate. Always has been 💫 (@kefimochi)Mon, 27 Dec 2021 17:37 GMT

this is extraordinary footage

a rare photo of sean connery signed by roger moore (@steamedhamms)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 09:53 GMT

Ignoring the word limit

Oded Rechavi 🦉 (@OdedRechavi)Wed, 15 Dec 2021 10:28 GMT

Shenzhen, 40 years in the same place.

Sharing travel (@MyChinaTrip)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 07:19 GMT

One of my proudest achievements on the internet is telling everyone that the OXO Tower accepted ten OXO cube wrappers for one free cocktail, then they emailed because people were actually trying to redeem that offer

Paul Curry (@cr3)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 09:50 GMT

Every year I wait to hear how the sprout war continues. It doesn’t disappoint.

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Since 2016 Dad & I have waged sprout war: I’ve hidden them in chocolate, in his toothpaste, he has retaliated by filling my bedsheets with them... It is an even-sided conflict, with both resorting to greater nefariousness & descending to even more underhand deception each year.

Judy Louie Brown (@mcjude)Sun, 26 Dec 2021 19:32 GMT

Jenny Wong 🐝 (@miss_jwo)Tue, 28 Dec 2021 10:41 GMT