https://twitter.com/tinywienerbabe/status/1524526462048473089

imagine going on a date and a crowd of 40 people show up lol

𝐒𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚🔪 (@tinywienerbabe)Wed, 11 May 2022 23:09 +0000

i don’t mind dating they/thems but this is ridiculous

𝐒𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚🔪 (@tinywienerbabe)Wed, 11 May 2022 23:06 +0000

12yo: why isn’t school virtual? More than half the class has COVID. Me: 😡😳😭😷

Gigi Gronvall (@ggronvall)Thu, 12 May 2022 12:00 +0000

Can we all call this what it is? A global effort to gaslight people into ignoring the pandemic that has largely worked

Jordan Klein (@J_D_Klein)Thu, 12 May 2022 22:22 +0000

With crypto crashing, hopefully to zero, we have a potential ~0.1 Gt-CO2 per year savings in greenhouse gas emissions on the table. Cool. That’s 10,000x larger than all the world’s carbon capture technologies to date. And it could happen immediately.

Dr. Jonathan Foley (@GlobalEcoGuy)Thu, 12 May 2022 13:06 +0000

dude just walked straight into a wall while staring at my ass in these tiny shorts I’m screeeeeeaming

marina 🕊🪷 (@marinaxdove)Wed, 11 May 2022 18:09 +0000

https://twitter.com/Compradorable/status/1524798870982631425

I'm sorry this is criminal

Phil Ochs stan account %Femalename (@Smutteh)Thu, 12 May 2022 18:28 +0000

https://twitter.com/frankieboyle/status/1524871402771341318

If you set fire to it it will heat your house for 48 hours

Tom Holmes (@xthxxx)Thu, 12 May 2022 21:58 +0000

https://twitter.com/kenklippenstein/status/1524611226935955457

Really wonder how Matt Damon, Lebron, Spike Lee, Larry David, etc feel or will feel when this is all over. This ain't like selling someone a product. They straight up convinced naive fans of theirs who admire and trust them to be bag holders. How does that not weigh on your soul?

Jimmy the Snitch (@Bastard0fY)Thu, 12 May 2022 04:56 +0000

https://twitter.com/McVagrant1000/status/1524697057600045056

It's not a market; it's a scam. It always was a scam; it will always be a scam.

(((Charlie Mas))) (@charlie_mas)Thu, 12 May 2022 12:23 +0000

https://twitter.com/AutisticCallum_/status/1524837879947612180

Is this just an autistic thing? Bc I have this so hard, where every time someone “asks” me this, it makes me pause to think really hard, then I remember I’m just supposed to say good, and move on. But I’m not autistic as far as I know…🤔

Niki L. (@Rheana_Nell)Thu, 12 May 2022 19:55 +0000

The autistic urge to respond to “how are you?” with an honest answer.

Callum Stephen (He/Him) (@AutisticCallum_)Thu, 12 May 2022 19:44 +0000

https://twitter.com/AutisticCallum_/status/1524837879947612180

I give the honest answer, if they didn’t want one then they shouldn’t have asked.

Xandra Anderson ✨ Read My Blog (@alexandapen)Thu, 12 May 2022 20:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/Rheana_Nell/status/1524840721009717249

I’m not autistic but I respond to compliments with really weird things like: ‘nice top’ ‘thanks, I’ve got loads of pasta sauce on it’ ‘Your hair looks nice’ ‘thanks, my hairdresser found a grey when she did it’ I hear myself and I’m just like STOP

Christina Taylor (@barnaclebear)Thu, 12 May 2022 20:30 +0000

Unpopular opinion: I like leftovers. They are like a gift from past me to present me.

Dan Moore (@mooreds)Thu, 12 May 2022 20:16 +0000

There's nothing like being at #EIC2022, a conference all about identity and security, where phishing and hacking have been a major theme across all the talks, and then getting a "is this you?" push on …

WORKERS JUST WON THE FIRST UNIONIZED STARBUCKS STORE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!

SBWorkersUnited (@SBWorkersUnited)Wed, 11 May 2022 18:55 +0000

oh dear god ijmacd.github.io/rfc3339-iso8601

Brad Fitzpatrick 🌻 (@bradfitz)Wed, 11 May 2022 17:58 +0000

https://twitter.com/kashanacauley/status/1524497789224247298

Oh yeah. That explains why guns have more rights than women.

Donna spahr (@DonnaspahrDonna)Thu, 12 May 2022 01:22 +0000

If a poll showed that 93% of Americans wanted to live, living would fail 49-51 in the Senate.

Kashana (@kashanacauley)Wed, 11 May 2022 21:12 +0000

https://twitter.com/QuinnyPig/status/1524570184928927746

First off, if you're going to dunk on sex workers it's important to me that you go away. Sex work is work. Criminalization and stigma are responsible for the lion's share of issues people have with it.

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Thu, 12 May 2022 02:01 +0000

Across the street from a nexus of Amazon buildings in Seattle is a "gentleman's club" that you *know* Amazon's leadership has taken multiple stabs at getting to relocate to almost literally anywhere else. It's called @ADevilsTriangle, and this thread is gonna upset some folks.

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Thu, 12 May 2022 02:00 +0000

https://twitter.com/QuinnyPig/status/1524585069569998848

We have plenty of shitty competitors, we’re not worried 💋

The Devil’s Triangle Seattle (@ADevilsTriangle)Thu, 12 May 2022 03:04 +0000

“Security is one of our TOP PRIORITIES,” proclaimed the executive while presenting their slide deck via a visibly-outdated version of Chrome.

the apocalypse, but make it fashion. ✨ (@ElleArmageddon)Wed, 11 May 2022 19:32 +0000

Look at this Mean Girls themed campaign video for President of the Black Student Union!!

Why Are There 500k Kids in Foster Care? (@LaCienegaBlvdss)Wed, 11 May 2022 02:31 +0000

I really appreciate seeing this kind of energy in the wild

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I cannot wait to see this image in history textbooks

molly ✨ (@DoSomeMolly)Wed, 11 May 2022 15:12 +0000

mr. root (@rootsworks)Wed, 11 May 2022 23:46 +0000

https://twitter.com/ElleArmageddon/status/1524607253302579201

Being a grown up is hard, and I don’t think we hear enough that the true mark of success is whether or not we improve the lives of the people around us. If you’re doing your best to make the world a safe place for others, you’re doing good work. Keep it up, I appreciate you!

the apocalypse, but make it fashion. ✨ (@ElleArmageddon)Thu, 12 May 2022 04:33 +0000

Hey. Hey you. Are you doing your best? Maybe struggling a little, but keeping on keeping on? Doing what you can to learn and grow and be a bit better each day? Forgiving yourself when you backslide a little, and picking it up and keeping it moving? I think you’re amazing. 🖤

the apocalypse, but make it fashion. ✨ (@ElleArmageddon)Thu, 12 May 2022 04:27 +0000

I present you Thai school lunch trays

yam (@sighyam)Tue, 10 May 2022 22:38 +0000

https://twitter.com/justkelly_ok/status/1524477900673613824

It must be pretty depressing to be blind or low vision on twitter, and realize just how many folks simply do not care if you can access anything

Kelly Ellis is Pro-Abortion 💉💉💉 (@justkelly_ok)Wed, 11 May 2022 21:05 +0000

C’mon folks. It’s past time to start adding alt text. And now all of us can see whether you did or not. Apparently lots of leftists can’t be bothered, and that makes me sad and disappointed

Kelly Ellis is Pro-Abortion 💉💉💉 (@justkelly_ok)Wed, 11 May 2022 19:53 +0000

1. Buy expired NPM maintainer email domains. 2. Re-create maintainer emails 3. Take over packages 4. Submit legitimate security patches that include package.json version bumps to malicious dependency you pushed 5. Enjoy world domination.

Lance R. Vick ( @lrvick@mastodon.social ) (@lrvick)Mon, 09 May 2022 21:20 +0000

There is no “pro life movement.” Pro-life would be pro-healthcare, school lunches for hungry kids and mercy for migrants fleeing literal death. Pro-life would fight poverty and fund kids education and kids and maternal healthcare. Call them what they are: a forced birth movement.

Joy-Ann (Pro-Democracy) Reid 😷 (@JoyAnnReid)Tue, 10 May 2022 00:53 +0000

Yoon Seok-Yeol is coming into office with an agenda to dissolve minimum wage, raise working hours, deregulate housing, cut taxes for the wealthy, bring more US military weaponry to Korea, and escalate against China & the DPRK, so ofc western media runs a cutesy trivial story

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All South Korean people are about to become one year younger – here's why Incoming president will shave a year off the entire population upon entering office Thread 🧵👇 telegraph.co.uk/world-news/202…

Telegraph World News (@TelegraphWorld)Mon, 09 May 2022 18:10 +0000

Read “Capitalism and Slavery” by Eric Williams (@hermit_hwarang)Wed, 11 May 2022 00:26 +0000

https://twitter.com/johnpavlovitz/status/1524210928299958275

So many MAGA men falling over themselves to defend Elon's honor. What is it with you guys worshipping unstable billionaires? Sounds like an issue.

John Pavlovitz (@johnpavlovitz)Wed, 11 May 2022 12:45 +0000

GraphQL is a trap

Jeff Hodges (@jmhodges)Thu, 05 May 2022 18:31 +0000

https://twitter.com/guy_freire/status/1524182821102891010

幸光ウラ (@yukimitsu_ura)Wed, 11 May 2022 03:04 +0000

https://twitter.com/guy_freire/status/1524182821102891010

vessol (@rwvessol)Wed, 11 May 2022 01:41 +0000

https://twitter.com/RohitaKadambi/status/1524107353234178048

Vanessa would be like: "Well, our marriage is like a prison at times, isn't that right, Nick???"

Ellen Kate Boyle | Content By The Sea (@contentbythesea)Wed, 11 May 2022 15:00 +0000

“Hi, I’m Nick Lachey and THIS is Netflix’s Stanford Prison Experiment”

Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi)Tue, 10 May 2022 19:21 +0000