BREAKING: Supreme Court has ruled 6-3 that when a dog stretches, you MUST say “oooooh big stretch!” or you will be placed on the no-fly list.

ᴀᴅᴀᴍ (@_chilldummy)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 01:32 +0000

https://twitter.com/_chilldummy/status/1542682523766968320

Same goes for cats.

Lysander “Incognito” Spooner (@jrgsstuff3)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 10:40 +0000

😑

rachel (@ohhoe)Sat, 02 Jul 2022 05:06 +0000

https://twitter.com/SourdoughEyepa1/status/1542758192861495296

The baby needs to be able to carry a gun too, if we’re being honest.

Grabowska (@TheBigGrabowska)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 07:07 +0000

thank god pregnant 12 year olds will no longer have to see a rainbow in their classrooms while they’re getting shot at

ceeks (@70Ceeks)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 13:40 +0000

https://twitter.com/70Ceeks/status/1542503465867517952

This is all wrong the 12 year old needs to be able to carry a gun on school grounds so they can protect the baby.

Sourdough Eyepatch (@SourdoughEyepa1)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 06:33 +0000

https://twitter.com/rudeanaseal/status/1543017816319598592

I'd want the shirt, too.

mae 🍃 (@maepleleef)Sat, 02 Jul 2022 00:14 +0000

https://twitter.com/rudeanaseal/status/1543017816319598592

To clear things up, the show is Queer as Folk and the actress is @JesseJKeitel. The shirt can be bought from @girlofswords's shop here: bonfire.com/angel-without-…

Anastasia Rudeseal (@rudeanaseal)Sat, 02 Jul 2022 03:50 +0000

in desperate need of this top

Anastasia Rudeseal (@rudeanaseal)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 23:44 +0000

Puppy thinks he’s a bunny.. 😅

Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 22:18 +0000

The pandas wanted to die before it got to this, and we wouldn’t let them

Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle)Sat, 02 Jul 2022 06:39 +0000

Shes a 10 but she needs your constant reassurance that you like her or else she thinks you hate her

Izzy💫 E(💊)-girl 🏳️‍⚧️ (@IzzyWinterz)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 02:53 +0000

https://twitter.com/rudeanaseal/status/1543017816319598592

That top has a name. 😤

Evilicious Evil 🏳️‍⚧️⚧️ (@Evilicious4)Sat, 02 Jul 2022 02:47 +0000

All of my hard work is paying off. 🥹

Josie (@javavvitch)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 17:56 +0000

they/they’re delilah what’s it like in pronoun city

✦ (@jazzraptwink)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 21:57 +0000

This was a fun conversation. Listen to me babble about one of my favorite activities: puttering on the site! About to click play because I'm curious how many tangents he had to edit out.

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Test & Code 191: Running your own site for fun and absolutely no profit whatsoever - @brianwisti testandcode.com/191 Having a personal site is a great playground for learning tons of skills. Brian Wisti discusses the benefits of running a his own blog over the years.

Brian Okken (@brianokken)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 17:52 +0000

brian wisti (@brianwisti)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 18:02 +0000

https://twitter.com/FilmBart/status/1542744550497693696

Pov: you’re being roasted by the rulers of the country

ART•uro (@armonz2408)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 12:57 +0000

losing my mind at these, what a bizarre photo op

FilmBart (@FilmBart)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 05:38 +0000

Here’s how the abortion laws affect pregnant women who want their babies. For those still refusing to see how this affects ALL women, read Chloe’s story:

Marlena Stell (@MarlenaStell)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 15:17 +0000

https://twitter.com/StopFundingHate/status/1542809302225788930

When advertisers chose to boycott GB News, the Daily Mail claimed this was "the slow painful death of free speech". When people boycott @HalifaxBank over its inclusive staffing policies the Mail has no such objection...

Stop Funding Hate (@StopFundingHate)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 10:53 +0000

Today is my last day on the EKS team. I'm heading over to work on a new project that I'm VERY excited about I'll be working on an open source tool I had the idea for and shelved because I couldn't support by myself. No job title change. Just not directly focused on #Kubernetes.

Chris Short 🇺🇸🇺🇦 (@ChrisShort)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 14:07 +0000

https://twitter.com/hiMaisie/status/1542803847076319232

disassociate and play video games. 🥲

maisie 💖 (@hiMaisie)Fri, 01 Jul 2022 09:37 +0000

Use emoji in your Git branch names they said. It will be fun they said 😅

Michal Špaček (@spazef0rze)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 22:55 +0000

#DontLookUp missed the part where the Supreme Court says we can’t stop the asteroid because that power wasn’t written into the Constitution in 1787.

Jamie Henn (@jamieclimate)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 12:55 +0000

Imagine living on Earth and voting against something called The Clean Air Act.

The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 16:12 +0000

"Be brave and curious, not fearful and suspicious" Eddie Izzard talking about her life, running marathons and coming out as transgender at my work's Pride event 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 #PrideMonth #Pride2022

Stephen Mullen (@StephenMullen)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 16:39 +0000

If it is a brain tumor, the prognosis is weeks to months. We’re getting some steroids to help her with inflammation, an anticonvulsant to hopefully keep seizures at bay. But, we’re going to know when it’s time they said. Wasn’t ready for that today.

Chris Short 🇺🇸🇺🇦 (@ChrisShort)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 16:37 +0000

C’mon over and say Hi!!! 🖖🚀

robert duncan mcneill (@robertdmcneill)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 15:34 +0000

very many of you

amab male-presenting man (@trashwonk)Fri, 24 Jun 2022 14:57 +0000

Search for 'Jury Nullification' (@Voodoo_Pork)Wed, 29 Jun 2022 12:53 +0000

Just under 2 months ago this was a patch of gravel at the end of the garden that we never used.

Alistair Hey (@alistair_hey)Tue, 28 Jun 2022 20:05 +0000

AITA for not stopping my husband from yodeling every time my MIL asks me about having a baby? bit.ly/3bDtPoG

Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_online)Wed, 29 Jun 2022 21:11 +0000

https://twitter.com/AITA_online/status/1542254516892057600

NTA, Beth shouldn't pin all her "true happiness" on potential grandchildren and should learn to mind her own damn business

2.5 kobolds in a trenchcoat (@KC_322)Wed, 29 Jun 2022 21:13 +0000

Welp, if you live in the UK or Ireland, you'll soon be able to see this scene on Disney Plus! Lol.

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And thus, it begins.

Out of Context 20th Century Fox (@OOC20thFox)Wed, 22 Jun 2022 20:59 +0000

Epic Movie Mystique (@MystiqueEpic)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 05:37 +0000

https://twitter.com/padm3luvr/status/1542271870078263305

Katie O (@Dithyrambic)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 03:05 +0000

https://twitter.com/padm3luvr/status/1542271870078263305

this literally looks like a dad and his daughter noticing this poster at the movie theater and being like "wow i didn't know they're coming out with a new star wars, let's take a picture with and send it to your brother, he loves these movies!" and got a worker to take the pic

Cameron (@rip_gjallahorn)Thu, 30 Jun 2022 03:11 +0000