It’s annoying to do this for everyone so I’m looking forward to five minutes from now when there’s a browser extension to block these people automatically

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How to Tell If a User Is Actually Verified Click/tap on the checkmark Verified $8 Twitter Blue twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Steven Spohn (Spawn) (@stevenspohn)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 21:41 GMT

pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 21:57 GMT

Matt Hancock on I’m a Celeb is a political move. He is reinventing himself after the appalling way he handled being a senior minister in the pandemic. He dehumanised the population, and now wants you to see him in a better light for his own career & gain. #ImACeleb

Jaimi Shrive (@Jaimi_Shrive)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 21:58 GMT

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1590384919829962752

This is the way. Keep doing dumb things pal.

RΛISINI ライシニ (@iamraisini)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 16:49 GMT

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1590384919829962752

Have you considered hiring someone who knows what they're doing instead of running a company based on vibes

malwaretech@infosec.exchange (@MalwareTechBlog)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 17:00 GMT

https://twitter.com/QuinnyPig/status/1590417451329949697

“Senior engineers?”

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 19:20 GMT

Spreadsheets, JSON files, DNS zones, senior engineers; you can draw whatever semantic distinctions you’d like, but to me they’re all databases.

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 18:54 GMT

The way my productivity plummets whenever I use macOS is wild. It's like splashing around in a colorful pile of mud and "we know what you want, stop thinking otherwise" land. Frustrated that tech's …

seems unthinkable that Meta could be laying off 11,000 employees when just weeks ago they were basking in the triumph of "legs are coming soon"

Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 12:51 GMT

my sexual kink is reading stories like this in @WSJ

Brianna Wu (@BriannaWu)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 14:52 GMT

please @Twitter, I've found an Elon Musk impersonator - @elonmusk doesn't have the "official" badge please ban the account so nobody gets confused

Tierney Cyren (@bitandbang)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 15:12 GMT

https://twitter.com/bitandbang/status/1590361735059623937

honestly he must have just paid $8 for Blue to get that checkmark. no way Musk would purchase this company, roll out an "Official" badge, and then not get it. has to be a fake account. he's not that much of an absolute uncooked potato.

Tierney Cyren (@bitandbang)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 15:22 GMT

Whatever you think of Dr. Oz, he ran a tough race that he spent a ton of his own money on but still ate shit and that’s funny

Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 06:06 GMT

Much like a person who recently deleted their period tracking app the Republican party appears to have misjudged their anticipated red wave

Amy (lolennui@mas.to) (@lolennui)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 12:26 GMT

Mastodon may not replace Twitter, but at least it has better leadership. Meet Eugen, CEO of Mastodon Social:

Alex Vranas (@breakdecks)Sat, 05 Nov 2022 13:02 GMT

What always starts with a “W” and ends with a “T” twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Hank Green (@hankgreen)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 03:59 GMT

RT @jonnysun

hello darkness my old friend why are you here its 4pm

Carol ⭐️ (@CarolSaysThings)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 17:38 GMT

RT @xdesro ✨You can use shy hyphens (­) in your HTML to hint a more design-friendly place for your code to hyphenate:

Carol ⭐️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 00:08 GMT

catching up with a lovely friend ✅ accidentally pissed on a tuesday night ✅

Carol ⭐️ (@CarolSaysThings)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 20:31 GMT

Why isn't COP27 attendance virtual? That would mean less unnecessary international travel and reduced carbon emissions. It would also lead by example.

Mike Kelly (@NicerInPerson)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 09:31 GMT

TIL git allows for zalgofied branch names... and that is glorious. cc/ @rob_rix @Catfish_Man

Waiting for GADT (@quephird)Thu, 23 Jan 2020 22:36 GMT

Today's discovery: 1. # is a valid character in git branch names 2. Not every system URI-encodes strings before looking up git references on the web, e.g. via git REST APIs

Misty (@mistydemeo)Fri, 01 May 2020 23:00 +0000

Git branches are weird. You can put zalgo text in them after all (as numerous people suggested), or even entire Japanese sentences (since those rarely contain whitespace). (If you use zalgo text, be forewarned, Git might break in weird ways.)

@est@emily.news (https://social.emily.news/@est) (@emilyst)Wed, 19 Sep 2018 04:06 +0000

Still can’t get over Rose Tyler being 19, I sincerely thought her character was 26 years old 😭

blank (@kefimochi)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 06:56 GMT

https://twitter.com/kyliesparks/status/1590034073569103872

npr.org/sections/thetw…

happy sparksidays🖤🥂⚾️🏀⚽️ (@kyliesparks)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 20:12 GMT

If Katy Perry didn’t want us talking about how she killed a nun she shouldn’t have gone that hard in the paint for an anti-abortion republican

happy sparksidays🖤🥂⚾️🏀⚽️ (@kyliesparks)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 17:30 GMT

They said this man is older than COOKIES, I’m CRYIN twitter.com/charlottealter…

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Chuck Grassley, 89, who was born before the invention of the chocolate chip cookie, will serve another six (6) years in the Senate.

Charlotte Alter (@CharlotteAlter)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 03:52 GMT

James JOVIC STAN Alexander👨🏾‍💻 (@ScriptsByJames)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 04:38 GMT

Chuck Grassley, 89, who was born before the invention of the chocolate chip cookie, will serve another six (6) years in the Senate.

Charlotte Alter (@CharlotteAlter)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 03:52 GMT

mastodon gets easier once you get the basic idea that toots are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space.

Azathoth (@judges119)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 00:11 GMT

next year for Halloween i'm gonna dress like a slut and when people ask me who i am im gonna say "your mom"

𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊 🏳️‍⚧️🖤 (@slutpilled)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 04:19 GMT

https://twitter.com/slutpilled/status/1589834874420047872

im tired of putting effort into explaining why im dressed like a slut

𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊 🏳️‍⚧️🖤 (@slutpilled)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 21:09 GMT

I just want to rest

jennie @ youmacon 309 (@maobabie)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 20:55 GMT

With Twitter's change in ownership last week, I'm probably in the clear to talk about the most unethical thing I was asked to build while working at Twitter. 🧵

Steve Krenzel (@stevekrenzel)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:26 GMT

This is unfortunately not an anomaly. The most unethical thing I was asked to do was shortly after becoming head of Vine. I haven’t spoken publicly about this out of embarrassment and fear of retribution, but probably better overall for the universe to air out these mistakes…

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With Twitter's change in ownership last week, I'm probably in the clear to talk about the most unethical thing I was asked to build while working at Twitter. 🧵

Steve Krenzel (@stevekrenzel)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:26 GMT

Jason Toff (@jasontoff)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:39 GMT

https://twitter.com/FreeThisBirdApp/status/1589990103686184961

Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they were.

Sam⁷ | 🏳️‍⚧️ (@WhenTheFoxGrins)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 16:43 GMT

https://twitter.com/mattxiv/status/1589861737700159488

listen i love teenage dream as much as (if not more than) the next person but not even five no. 1 singles could make me defend a lifelong republican billionaire who changed his party affiliation to democrat three weeks before running for office

matt (@mattxiv)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:20 GMT

katy perry posted herself voting for a republican today and her stans are scrambling

matt (@mattxiv)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 06:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/marinaxdove/status/1589989402167902213

Oh this is just every day for me

j 👻 (@silvergelpen)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 15:00 GMT

https://twitter.com/silvergelpen/status/1589996179336884225

can confirm

𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊 🏳️‍⚧️🖤 (@slutpilled)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 20:16 GMT

wow I miss soft domming kitties so bad

marina 🌿 🇨🇦11/18-12/2 (@marinaxdove)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:33 GMT

A tragedy in 2 acts:

Courtney Nash (@courtneynash)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 23:42 GMT

Nervous Voter Totally Blanks On American Values While Looking At Ballot bit.ly/3UxuZ6j

The Onion (@TheOnion)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 13:00 GMT

What would you add to this sandwich?

Damien Scott (@MadScientistFF)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 00:13 GMT

Fried egg twitter.com/madscientistff…

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What would you add to this sandwich?

Damien Scott (@MadScientistFF)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 00:13 GMT

Tim Banks: Principal VibeOps Engineer (@elchefe)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 12:14 GMT

🤡🫡

Rusty Foster Parody Account (@fka_tabs)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:31 GMT

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1589442162718277633

these were added while you were on the board of directors, they are not new: twitter.com/cubicleapril/s…

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Really annoyed that @twitter added what is (presumably) a tracking token every time you share a tweet now. Makes all my messages look long and ugly, or requires a bunch of pointless busywork.

April King 🌀 (@CubicleApril)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 12:28 +0000

April King 🌀 (@CubicleApril)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 02:29 GMT

alex 🐀 (@tinysnekcomics)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 18:21 GMT

if salsa doesnt like being named after food she should not have ears shaped like doritos

laura (parody) (@freezydorito)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 12:36 GMT