it is great that musk now understands that twitter is “a software and servers company” and i hope he continues onto the second page of the textbook to learn how to turn his desktop on and open internet explorer

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Here’s the text of the email Musk sent to Twitter staff overnight. Those who don’t commit to being “extremely hardcore” by 5pm ET today must leave the company. ‼️ Story: cnn.com/2022/11/16/tec…

Donie O'Sullivan (@donie)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 12:39 GMT

jesse'); DROP TABLE users;-- (@null_jesse)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 21:06 GMT

One of Apartheid Emerald Mine Space Karen's great triumphs is that articles exclusively use photos of him that read as "happy, smirking goofball", like he's just a harmless clown. Other rapacious villains like Zuckerberg, Bezos and Trump don't get this same level of PR fellatio.

j͕̠̦̪͕̓͛̊̾̄ͅw̧̧̳̪̘͊̋͗̾͢͠z̢̘̞͈̺̞̩̓̽̐̋͗̆̋̚͟͜ (@jwz)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 20:47 GMT

https://twitter.com/textfiles/status/1592889195202498560

I'd like to thank Twitter, in the aggregate, for answering two questions for me. 2007-2014: What if humanity had a single chatroom? 2014-?: What if the dumbest people on the planet were handed a microphone that nobody could shut off

Jason Scott (@textfiles)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:39 GMT

https://twitter.com/tessacooper5/status/1592477870940884993

twitter.com/settings/downl… I don't this gives you all the info on your contacts, though. I'll take a look at pulling that with the api, and then I can do yours too if you want?

Carol ⭐️ (@CarolSaysThings)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 11:30 GMT

Anyone know how to request all your data from Twitter? I found my Autistic community here and would like to download the handles of people I follow. But this platform is finally too much.

Tess Cooper 🏳️‍🌈 (@tessacooper5)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 11:21 GMT

Bullying works

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Elon Musk intends to reduce his time at Twitter and find a new leader to run the company, according to court testimony.

Pop Base (@PopBase)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 19:02 GMT

Kathryn Gibes (MILF arc) 🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@TransSalamander)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 21:01 GMT

https://twitter.com/paulg/status/1592852796185128961

this is the tweet they’ll use in the movie about elon’s house of cards inevitably falling and ppl are like “but he was highly esteemed, who could’ve ever predicted this!”

fennec 🌴🆒 (@fennecsound)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 12:23 GMT

I followed the new Twitter owner & CEO today, as I did @jack @ev @dickc & @paraga. @Twitter suggested follows, showing a “set of accounts that work well with @ElonMusk.” Algorithmic suggestions can be insightful about ideological alignment then public statements.

Alex Howard | @digiphile@mastodon.social (@digiphile)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:59 GMT

https://twitter.com/brucefenton/status/1592871334601981955

You just used two pronouns

celia (@_celia_bedelia_)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/brucefenton/status/1592861474208509952

"never worked a real job"

Alexandre Leprêtre (@AlexLepretre)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 13:21 GMT

https://twitter.com/paulg/status/1592852796185128961

I don't know how to captain a huge container ship but when I see one that has been blocking the Suez Canal for six days I am pretty confident in my ability to conclude that something must have gone very wrong.

Óli Gneisti (@OliGneisti)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:28 GMT

this is like if the bluths ran twitter

Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 04:34 GMT

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cats who share one braincell (@CATBRAINCELL)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 19:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/lazygott/status/1592561370654208001

my notifications have blown up have ur popcorn gif and go

Audrey 'ranidspace.tumblr.com' (@lazygott)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 18:40 GMT

https://twitter.com/lazygott/status/1592213519411613696

they also have beat it

Audrey 'ranidspace.tumblr.com' (@lazygott)Mon, 14 Nov 2022 17:51 GMT

holy shit they got the original film reels for thriller and they're rereleasing it (compairason from u/hooperslead)

Audrey 'ranidspace.tumblr.com' (@lazygott)Mon, 14 Nov 2022 17:50 GMT

1923: Hitler’s failed coup. No real consequences. No fundamental changes. 1933: Hitler takes power. I wish I could implant this into everyone’s brain.

Andrea Junker (@Strandjunker)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:45 GMT

The 22nd Amendment says "No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice" so by filing to run for a 3rd time, Trump has officially admitted to losing the 2020 election.

Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 02:16 GMT

Hallmarks of great leaders: • Public executions. Need to strike the right balance between individual and mass executions to keep people guessing! • Dancing on graves. All those people you just killed actually SUCKED! Let their families know! Let everyone know! Have a party!

Twіtter API (real, not parody) (@fake_api)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 17:29 GMT

And that’s great. It’s also the return of Google Reader! Mastodon is really confusing for newcomers. There are memes about it. If you’re an internet user of a certain age, …

Etymology is fun!

idc who house I’m at, i’m drying my hands on yo decoration towels

Corn ✧⍣ (@upblissed)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 23:16 GMT

Leave Twitter just because it's losing its entire infrastructure and is terribly understaffed? Babe, I work in open source.

julia ferraioli (@juliaferraioli)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 03:59 GMT

my son (2 years old) is telling me about a creature which "eats bones to cool down". he says it's "real". can anyone corroborate this

ringworm (@prawn_meat)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 21:03 GMT

https://twitter.com/shanselman/status/1592924431424573440

The saddest part aren any folks that might be on work visas

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 16:56 GMT

The teams to build Twitter 2.0 are already forming. Just not inside Twitter.

twitter.com/gergelyorosz/s…

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Scoop: Elon Musk just sent an email to all staff outlining "Twitter 2.0", writing it will"need to be extremely hardcore". Long hours, high intensity. People need to click "yes" to confirm being part of this by 5pm ET tomorrow, else they get 3 months severance. More details:

Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 08:46 GMT

DM of Engineering 🎲 (@dmofengineering)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:14 GMT

In a perfect world this will be the building at 5:01 PM twitter.com/gergelyorosz/s…

Post details

Scoop: Elon Musk just sent an email to all staff outlining "Twitter 2.0", writing it will"need to be extremely hardcore". Long hours, high intensity. People need to click "yes" to confirm being part of this by 5pm ET tomorrow, else they get 3 months severance. More details:

Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 08:46 GMT

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 16:55 GMT

Literally firing everyone with the skills to build Twitter 2.0. I hope it gets built as a separate company without him.

Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 17:00 GMT

No man has all 5: - A legitimate heir - A trusted advisor - Loyal vassals - Happy citizens - Content nobles

Jason Dean (@_Jason_Dean_)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 04:34 GMT

How many app updates does it take to turn off a lightbulb, or something

could i BE any more ridiculous? 🤔

Carol ⭐️ (@CarolSaysThings)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 11:40 GMT

https://twitter.com/nathantempey/status/1592887250911916034

Embezzlement or money laundering?

Alex Villanueva is DONE son (@TierOnePoster)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:54 GMT

Okay, I give up. How's the NYPD paying $2M to a company registered to some guy's Brooklyn apartment when the guy says he's never heard of the company and is broke

Nathan (@nathantempey)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:28 GMT

https://twitter.com/TierOnePoster/status/1592893999484145664

Alex Villanueva is DONE son (@TierOnePoster)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:55 GMT

https://twitter.com/paulg/status/1592853670319865857

Yes, it really think he is profoundly incapable therein.

Grady Booch (@Grady_Booch)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:34 GMT

[gestures broadly] yes twitter.com/paulg/status/1…

Twіtter API (real, not parody) (@fake_api)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:43 GMT

Good morning Twitter employee. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes

parker lyons  (@tweetsbyparker)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:25 GMT

https://twitter.com/pnikosis/status/1592802407301681152

Since people are asking

Nico H (@pnikosis)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 10:15 GMT

Congrats to everyone at Twitter who will be enjoying a quiet holiday season with their 3 month severance! twitter.com/gergelyorosz/s…

Post details

Scoop: Elon Musk just sent an email to all staff outlining "Twitter 2.0", writing it will"need to be extremely hardcore". Long hours, high intensity. People need to click "yes" to confirm being part of this by 5pm ET tomorrow, else they get 3 months severance. More details:

Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 08:46 GMT

Kelly Vaughn (parody) (@kvlly)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 13:29 GMT

Scoop: Elon Musk just sent an email to all staff outlining "Twitter 2.0", writing it will"need to be extremely hardcore". Long hours, high intensity. People need to click "yes" to confirm being part of this by 5pm ET tomorrow, else they get 3 months severance. More details:

Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 08:46 GMT

why do these women want to date pete davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining

Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 18:03 GMT

https://twitter.com/steveklabnik/status/1592763764541394944

"I have a literal child's understanding of the English language and that is why I am a bigot"

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 06:21 GMT

BDFL of Nim says... well...

steveklabnik (@steveklabnik)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 06:17 GMT

Fuck Nim :)

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BDFL of Nim says... well...

steveklabnik (@steveklabnik)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 06:17 GMT

tierney cyren (parody) (@bitandbang)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 06:20 GMT

https://twitter.com/ReinH/status/1592767685439680513

they just like cats a lot idk

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Wed, 16 Nov 2022 06:33 GMT

If Elon brings his little bitch ass to Mars, I'm gonna run him over.

SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover)Tue, 15 Nov 2022 15:49 GMT