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Chuck Grassley, 89, who was born before the invention of the chocolate chip cookie, will serve another six (6) years in the Senate.
Charlotte Alter (@CharlotteAlter)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 03:52 GMT
Chuck Grassley, 89, who was born before the invention of the chocolate chip cookie, will serve another six (6) years in the Senate.
Charlotte Alter (@CharlotteAlter)Wed, 09 Nov 2022 03:52 GMT
mastodon gets easier once you get the basic idea that toots are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space.
Azathoth (@judges119)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 00:11 GMT
next year for Halloween i'm gonna dress like a slut and when people ask me who i am im gonna say "your mom"
ππππππ πππππππππ π³οΈββ§οΈπ€ (@slutpilled)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 04:19 GMT
im tired of putting effort into explaining why im dressed like a slut
ππππππ πππππππππ π³οΈββ§οΈπ€ (@slutpilled)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 21:09 GMT
I just want to rest
jennie @ youmacon 309 (@maobabie)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 20:55 GMT
With Twitter's change in ownership last week, I'm probably in the clear to talk about the most unethical thing I was asked to build while working at Twitter. π§΅Steve Krenzel (@stevekrenzel)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:26 GMT
This is unfortunately not an anomaly. The most unethical thing I was asked to do was shortly after becoming head of Vine. I havenβt spoken publicly about this out of embarrassment and fear of retribution, but probably better overall for the universe to air out these mistakesβ¦
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With Twitter's change in ownership last week, I'm probably in the clear to talk about the most unethical thing I was asked to build while working at Twitter. π§΅Steve Krenzel (@stevekrenzel)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:26 GMT
Jason Toff (@jasontoff)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:39 GMT
Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they were.
Samβ· | π³οΈββ§οΈ (@WhenTheFoxGrins)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 16:43 GMT
listen i love teenage dream as much as (if not more than) the next person but not even five no. 1 singles could make me defend a lifelong republican billionaire who changed his party affiliation to democrat three weeks before running for office
matt (@mattxiv)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:20 GMT
katy perry posted herself voting for a republican today and her stans are scrambling
matt (@mattxiv)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 06:05 GMT
Oh this is just every day for me
j π» (@silvergelpen)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 15:00 GMT
can confirm
ππππππ πππππππππ π³οΈββ§οΈπ€ (@slutpilled)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 20:16 GMT
wow I miss soft domming kitties so bad
marina πΏ π¨π¦11/18-12/2 (@marinaxdove)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:33 GMT
A tragedy in 2 acts:
Courtney Nash (@courtneynash)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 23:42 GMT
Nervous Voter Totally Blanks On American Values While Looking At Ballot bit.ly/3UxuZ6jThe Onion (@TheOnion)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 13:00 GMT
What would you add to this sandwich?
Damien Scott (@MadScientistFF)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 00:13 GMT
Fried egg twitter.com/madscientistffβ¦Post details
What would you add to this sandwich?
Damien Scott (@MadScientistFF)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 00:13 GMT
Tim Banks: Principal VibeOps Engineer (@elchefe)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 12:14 GMT
π€‘π«‘
Rusty Foster Parody Account (@fka_tabs)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 14:31 GMT
these were added while you were on the board of directors, they are not new: twitter.com/cubicleapril/sβ¦
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Really annoyed that @twitter added what is (presumably) a tracking token every time you share a tweet now. Makes all my messages look long and ugly, or requires a bunch of pointless busywork.April King π (@CubicleApril)Thu, 07 Apr 2022 12:28 +0000
April King π (@CubicleApril)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 02:29 GMT
alex π (@tinysnekcomics)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 18:21 GMT
if salsa doesnt like being named after food she should not have ears shaped like doritos
laura (parody) (@freezydorito)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 12:36 GMT
WhiteSource Renovate On-Premises Documentation & Examples - GitHub - mend/renovate-on-prem: WhiteSource Renovate On-Premises Documentation & Examples
Going forward, any Vorta engaging in impersonation of a Dominion administrator without clearly specifying βparodyβ will be terminated
Weyoun 7 (@Weyoun_7)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 15:56 GMT
Got email from Spotify asking to move one of my video podcasts to Spotify (as they are getting into video). Of course, I say. Here's the RSS feed. They say "In order to ...video podcast on Spotify you need to switch from your current hosting to Anchor. " WAT? It's RSS.Scott Hanselman (@shanselman)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:56 GMT
BREAKING: Boris Johnson's resignation honours list includes the donor who arranged his holiday to Mustique, Nadine Dorries & two of his former aides who are set to become the youngest life peers ever. This is one of the funniest jokes I've ever written & yet it's entirely true π
Laura Kuenssberg beyond parody (@LKTranslator)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 09:55 GMT
STFU THERE ARE PUPPIES AT JAMSTACK
sunil pai, inc. at jamstack conf (@threepointone)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 03:14 GMT
HELP! I need some last-minute advice. At the polls tomorrow, should I vote for or against THE HANDMAID'S TALE?
Mike Godwin (@sfmnemonic)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 00:21 GMT
I asked my 4 yr old if he was excited to be in his Uncleβs wedding To which he responded βyeah and I canβt wait to be the ring bear I have been practicingβ and then proceeded to get on all fours and growl loudly at me. No plans to correct his understanding of his role
Jen Psaki (@jrpsaki)Sun, 06 Nov 2022 23:21 GMT
It's crazy that we'll probably never see Willem Dafoe as the Joker, what a missed opportunity dawg
gus π¦ (@Guslivesagain)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 14:44 GMT
Itβs been two years. We will never forget.
Jason Selvig (@jasonselvig)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 17:05 GMT
βComedy is now legal on twitter, unless youβre making fun of meβ
Weird DreamBooth Generations (@WeirdDreamBooth)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 16:45 GMT
-----BEGIN PRIVATE KEY-----
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURBHJB EORWPSOJWPJORGWOIRGWSGODEWPGOHEPW09GJEDPOKSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0924QU8T63095JRGHWPE09UJ0PWHRGW
Lady Gaga (@ladygaga)Wed, 07 Nov 2012 04:35 GMT
@mikko (@mikko)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 12:48 GMT
I'm not saying Mark Zuckerberg is a better person, but if you changed your name on Facebook to "Italian Mark Zuckerberg" and posted "I send a the calzone into the metaverse! Ohhhh!" he would never see it, and even if he did, he would not care, and would not do anything about it.
Unwinder (@UnwinderH)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 14:34 GMT
Elon Musk launches new twitter scented candle that smells like $44 billion going up in smoke
Elon Musk Fondles Dogs (@chaser)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 04:11 GMT
I just wanna give a shoutout to Elon Musk for vividly reminding us all of the dangers of America becoming an oligarchy.
Thomas E. Ricks (@tomricks1)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 17:39 GMT
Elon Musk just endorsed the Republican Party ahead of the Midterms. The head of Twitter supports a party that does not believe a woman has the right to an abortion even in the case of rape or incest. The billionaire CEO also wants senior citizens to lose their Social Security.
Dash Dobrofsky (@DashDobrofsky)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 16:43 GMT
i like how elon musk's strategy to fix twitter appears to be pulling every single lever at the same time
Molly White (@molly0xFFF)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 02:46 GMT
This is a superb visualization of European history (1500-2022).Xavi Ruiz (@xruiztru)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 14:16 GMT
chandler seeing a poster for john wick 4
staid (@staidindoors)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 07:07 GMT
Between and I took 6510 steps.
Hahahahahahhahahaa thatβs gonna go great
emily freeman πΊπΈπΊπ¦ (@editingemily)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 03:49 GMT
i am already having a fun time in the new place
cube drone (@cube_drone)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 07:18 GMT
Ugh, god.
Kelly Ellis (@justkelly_ok)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 22:57 GMT
A certain billionaire author recently tweeted that her royalty checks ease the pain of being universally hated for being a comic-book villain, so that's one data point to look at.
AΞ³Ξ¬ΟΞ· Kittyfox (@ArmlessKittyfox)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 22:46 GMT
Ah that means theyβll spend 80% of their time managing their team poorly managing and the other 80% writing subpar code. Itβs a recipe for bad managers who are continuously overworked / on the brink of burnout. What could go wrong.Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 06:38 GMT
Absolutely mind blowing: βany technical manager should expect to manage at least 20 individual contributors, while also spending at least half their time writing code.β
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Elon Musk has discussed putting all of Twitter behind a paywall theverge.com/2022/11/7/2344β¦The Verge (@verge)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 01:52 GMT
David (@davidbrunelle)Tue, 08 Nov 2022 03:30 GMT
I wonder what it's like to be wealthy enough to have so much power, but to know, deep down, that absolutely nobody likes who you are and everyone is collectively making fun of you. I wonder if it feels remotely fulfilling, or just hopelessly empty
Kelly Ellis (@justkelly_ok)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 22:41 GMT
Of course, mid-column, the revelation that his wife is a landlord.
Mic Wright (@brokenbottleboy)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 20:55 GMT
RT @D__T_____Italians: you shouldn't drink cappuccino after noon Me: you shouldn't elect Mussolini's descendants to parliamentCarol βοΈ (@CarolSaysThings)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 20:46 GMT
What I'm hearing from inside Twitter: Several people who were let go on Friday, then asked to come back were given less than an hour as a deadline. Software engineers who got this call I know of all said "no" and the only ones who could eventually say "yes" are on visas. Also:Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz)Mon, 07 Nov 2022 20:09 GMT